
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/3108611.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/F, F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Shingeki_no_Kyojin_|_Attack_on_Titan
  Relationship:
      Levi/Eren_Yeager, Levi/Petra_Ral, Krista_Lenz_|_Historia_Reiss/Eren
      Yeager, Oluo_Bozado/Petra_Ral, Marco_Bott/Jean_Kirstein, Moblit_Berner/
      Hange_Zoë, Sasha_Blouse/Connie_Springer, Armin_Arlert/Erwin_Smith, Mikasa
      Ackerman/Annie_Leonhart, Reiner_Braun/Bertolt_Hoover
  Character:
      Eren_Yeager, Levi_(Shingeki_no_Kyojin), Mikasa_Ackerman, Armin_Arlert,
      Hange_Zoë, Erwin_Smith, Grisha_Yeager, Petra_Ral, Oluo_Bozado, Eld_Jinn,
      Gunther_Schultz, Moblit_Berner, Jean_Kirstein, Marco_Bott, Annie
      Leonhart, Bertolt_Hoover, Reiner_Braun, Sasha_Blouse, Connie_Springer,
      pretty_much_everyone_-_Character
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_Modern_Setting, Alternate_Universe_-_High_School,
      Alternate_Universe_-_Sports, Grisha_Yeager's_Bad_Parenting, honestly
      though, Rape/Non-con_Elements, Rape_Recovery, Child_Abuse, Past_Child
      Abuse, Past_Prostitution, Alcohol_Abuse/Alcoholism, sooo, Yes_This_Is
      High_School_AU, This_Is_Why_We_Can't_Have_Nice_Things, eren's_pov, Maybe
      Levi's_POV, I_haven't_decided, Levi_Is_Adopted, By_Kenny_and_Mikasa, but
      don't_worry, Kenny_Is_Nice, Soccer_AU, They're_Pretty_Much_All_Friends,
      Cause_Something_Has_To_Be_Happy, Levi_Is_A_Dork, and_really_protective,
      Pining, lots_of_pining, Eventual_Smut, Demisexuality, Transgendered
      Hanji, Cause_That's_My_Headcannon, Anxiety, Panic_Attacks, Starts_Slow
      With_The_Panic_Attacks, Minor_At_First, Little_Bit_Of_Cheating, Love
      Triangle, Or_Some_Weird_Shape, i_think_I'm_done_here, I'm_so_sorry,
      Muteness, Suicide_Attempt
  Stats:
      Published: 2015-01-03 Completed: 2015-07-13 Chapters: 38/38 Words: 81928
****** The Way We Live ******
by DOA
Summary
     People say there a lot to say about about how you were raised. For
     most people, that's true. For example, Jean is a rich snob who was
     spoiled by his parents. Also, Armin would read dictionaries with his
     grandpa for fun, and now he's a genius. They also say you always turn
     into your parents, whether you want to or not. Let's just say I
     really hope that's not true.
     _____________________________
      
     The High School AU in which Eren is a damaged sweetheart in hiding
     and Levi is the only one who see's it.
Notes
     Hi! So, I've writen before, but I had to delete the account, so I
     guess I'm back! I don't really know what to say except it's gonna be
     a long one and everything will make more sense later. If you have any
     questions, concerns, ect. please leave a comment below! Thanks and
     enjoy:)
See the end of the work for more notes
***** Damage Control *****
People say there a lot to say about about how you were raised. For most people,
that's true. For example, Jean is a rich snob who was spoiled by his parents.
Also, Armin would read dictionaries with his grandpa for fun, and now he's a
genius. They also say you always turn into your parents, whether you want to or
not. Let's just say I really hope that's not true.
Everyday is the same thing: wake up, get up (after quite a lot of effort),
quietly take a shower, scrub until I bleed, put on ointment, put my clothes on,
brush my hair, brush my teeth, put coverup on my bruises, pack what I need for
the day, grab my backpack, go outside, put on a fake smile, stand and wait for
Armin or his grandpa to pick me up, and finally breathe. This has been my daily
morning routine for the past 6 years.
"Eren!" Armin yells from his grandpa's convertible. It's a baby blue 69 Ford
Mustang and probably the most beautiful car I've ever seen. I sit in the front
seat and turn to him. "Hey Ar, you pumped or what?" I say with false
enthusiasm. Armin had been my best friend along with Mikasa since we were five.
He's a shy boy when you first meet him, but he's sassy as fuck if you know him
well enough. He has light blue eyes that he uses in his methods of manipulation
and a blonde bowl cut.
"You do realize we still have a whole school day to get through." He says with
a scolding mother look. For as long as I've know this boy, he's been protective
over everyone he cares about. He's probably the main reason my façade hasn't
been broken, it has to be good to fool him. "Come on, captain, it's your job to
get everybody excited for the game!"
"Actually, co-captain, that's your job. I make sure your sorry ass can play."
He says, pulling out of the drive way. Armin and I are captains of our school's
soccer team. We were the first freshman to ever make it on varsity, making us
the first junior captains ever this year. Armin wasn't good with the
conditioning at first, but his footwork is so precise that he's unstoppable.
I'm a goalie, but I can play a forward if needed. "Yeah yeah, I just can't wait
to beat the damn Garrison." I say to him, feeling better immediately. The nice
thing about soccer is that it distracts me from life, makes me feel as close to
happy as I can be.
I look to Armin to see him laughing at me. "God, you're so intense, it's
hilarious." He says as we pull into my bittersweet second home, Maria High. "I
think I'm okay with that." I say with a smile. He parks the car and moves to
get up when I'm reminded of a problem in my legs. I try to get up and fall
almost instantly, catching myself on the handle. "Shit Eren, are you okay?"
Armin says as he comes to my side and grabs my arm. "Yeah," I answer as we pull
me to my feet.
"What's going on?" I hear a quiet, yet strong voice behind me. I look back to
see Mikasa approaching us. Shit, if she thinks something's wrong, I'll never
hear the end of it. "Good morning Mikasa. And nothing, my legs just hurt from
practice. Connie fell on me again." I lie, looking down. Her violet, grey eyes
relax at my answer and she pulls her red scarf up to her nose. Mikasa an
uncommon beauty with her jet black hair and her pale skin. She's overly
motherly to me since we were little and she was made fun of for being
"oriental" and I stuck up for for her. We've been friend since.
"When did that happen?" A deep voice says as he walks over. Levi, or the third
captain of our team, walks up and puts his arm around his sister. He moved into
the Ackerman house his sophomore year and decided to take the name. Nobody
really knows much about him before that except for two of his friends, Hanji
and Erwin, so we just call him and Mikasa siblings. He looks a lot like Mikasa
with the similar black hair and ivory skin. He has intense grey eyes and a face
that shows little to no emotion. He's a good captain and an amazing soccer
player, and despite his antisocial tendencies, we became fast friends.
"During warmup he drove the ball and I slid on him. Mornin' Levi," I continue.
In all honesty, it isn't a lie. Connie did fall on me, but that's not the real
reason, and leave it to Levi to ask about it. "Bright Eyes, Mushoom." Levi says
the nicknames he gave Armin and I due to his bowl hair and my green eyes. We
walk inside the school as the pain spreads through my legs. I gotta take some
Tylenol when I get to my locker. "Levi!" A strawberry blonde girl yells to him.
"I'll see you guys at the game. Don't be late." He says and walks to Petra and
she hugs him.
"Do we have to do this?" I whine and lean on Mikasa as we continue walking to
our lockers. "Come on, grow up." She says and lightly pushes me, but I don't
miss the smirk under her red scarf. "But Mika, I just wanna play, why do I have
to learn shit I'll never use?" I groan to her and she rolls her eyes. "If you
wanna play. You gotta work." Armin says. "But Ar, all work and no play makes
Eren a dull boy." He says with a pout. "No movie reference will get you out of
this." He says as motherly as possible. Sometimes I'm not sure who's more of a
mother, Armin or Mikasa, cause they both act like my parents, they just need to
decide on a father.
We make it to my locker, which isn't that far from the parking lot luckily, and
I open it as quickly as possible and pull out my medicine bottle. I keep it in
my locker as a continuation of my morning routine along with a bottle of water.
I take out two pills and swallow it with the water.
"Eren!" A small voice says from behind me and there are suddenly arms wrapped
around my torso. I jump and push the arms off of me and turn so my back is to
the locker. I look down to see it was Historia who had hugged me, eyes looking
hurt as I begin to shake. Shit. "I'm so sorry... I... I don't know what..." I
say as my legs finally give out and my back slides along the lockers. Great way
to start the day, having a panic attack. Historia sits down next to me and
grabs my hand. "Im sorry for the scare." She says smiling at me. Our fingers
intertwine as I try and fail to calm my breathing. I look around to see most of
the hallway has stopped and are staring at me. Shit, how loud was I? Armin and
Mikasa look down to me with overly worried expressions and I know I must have
been damn loud. I gotta do something.
I shoot Historia a fake smile and laugh. "You really scared me there." I say
and I inwardly cringe at how weak my voice sounds, but it seems to be enough
cause most people start walking away or laughing at my scare over my much
smaller girlfriend. Historia and I have been dating since freshman year. She
said she started liking me while watching me sing karaoke after a game at a
local diner. She said it made me look most alive. I had liked her long before
that, she was actually my second crush, the first being a boy named Thomas who
moved away in the seventh grade. That's how I learned I was Demisexual, cause
I've never been into anyone in any way more than a friend without knowing them
for at least a year. I still haven't been truly aroused by anyone ever, despite
me loving Historia. I'm lucky to have her, and I'm even more lucky she's
willing to wait for when I'm ready. She could have anyone, she's sweet and
gorgeous and I have no idea why she's with me. She has long blonde hair and big
blue eyes. She kind of looks like Armin, but in a much more feminine way. She's
looking at me with worry in her eyes right now as the hallway starts to empty.
"I'm gonna take you to the nurse." She say to me and gets up. Oh no. No no no.
"Really it's fine..." I say as I try to get up and end up falling back on my
ass, making me groan at the hard surface below me. My breathing goes ragged as
Mikasa and Armin pick me up from the ground and help to walk me to the nurse's
office. Before I go, I look back to see grey eyes' gaze burning into me
***** Think Fast, Jaeger *****
Chapter Notes
     Hiii. So I'm sorry, but this is another short chapter. The will get
     longer as we get further into it. Also, the about the LevixEren
     aspect, you'll see it more in the next chapter or two. I think you
     guys might like it, so yeah, I'll post again pretty soon, enjoy!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
I come to the nurse's office often enough that I've become friends with all the
seniors that do their career class in here. They normally watch over me for
awhile since the real nurse, Mr. Zackily, leaves business to his senior
classes. There are three people in the first hour classes that I normally see
after a panic attack: Petra, Hanji, and Mobilt.
Petra is a total sweetheart. She's nice, but firm when she has to be. I've
gotten to know her when I'm over at Mikasa's since Petra's dating Levi. They've
been dating for about a year, and we became friends because of it. She's as
kind as she is beautiful too, with her strawberry blonde hair and big Amber
eyes.
Hanji is... just crazy. Don't get me wrong, I love that women, but she's
interesting. She's got a crazy personality that's a bit off putting at first,
but she's really nice. We became friends my freshman year after I got in a
fight with Horseface (*shivers*). It wasn't until halfway through the year I
knew she was a girl though. She's transgendered, born in a boy's body. Once you
get to know her, you see just how feminine she is. She grew out her hair to
about mid back and normally wears it in a ponytail due to her love for science.
Mobilt is madly in love with her. Period. End of story. I mean, how else would
he be brave enough to be her lab partner. The thought blows my mind that some
isn't scared of her when she gets in her zone. Like she is now, looking over me
like a madman. "What happened this time Eren? Knee popped out? Broken arm?
Concussion?" She pries. The sad thing is, all of those have happened. She
thinks it just soccer stuff I don't get checked out. I wish it was that simple.
"I saw what happened, it looked like your knee gave out." Petra says and sits
next to me. "Um, no, it's not that..." I say staring at the ground. "What is
it? Did something new happen?" Hanji asks excitedly. "Hanj, don't be so casual
about his body." Mobilt says, not meeting my eyes. I think he's never really
liked me all too much since Hanji likes it when something bad happens too me. I
don't blame him, I really wish she would stop sometimes, or at least calm down.
There's been too many close calls for my liking.
"Sorry, well what seems to be the problem then?" She asks, not appearing sorry
at all. "Well, I... um... had a panic attack." I say the last part as quickly
as I can. They all freeze and look between each other. I've never had a panic
attack at school to the point of going to see them, so this is new to them. I
try not to make a big deal of them because I have an idea of what will happen
when I do. "Eren, I think we should call your dad." Petra says and I feel
myself start to panic again. Fuck, he can't know. He can't find out. "You can't
let him know." I don't realize I've said that out loud until Petra's eyes
widen. Fuck. Now she's gonna ask questions. Think fast, Jaeger. "If he finds
out, he'll take me out of school before the game tonight." Good. That'll cover
it. No one will question that. Now just calm your breathing and smile. I shoot
a small smile to Petra as she relaxes again. "Okay, well, just stay in here
until you feel calm enough to go to class." She says with a smile. "I'll call
your first hour teacher. What class do you have?" Mobilt asks as though he
doesn't already know. "I have Algebra with Shadis." I say to him. "Yikes, he
sucks." He says casually. "Tell me about it, he yelled at Marco." I say as he
dials. "Freckled angel?" He asks as he pull the phone to his ear. "Yeah, that's
the one." I say and he nods. We gave him that nickname freshman year when he
transferred for a small town outside of Rose. Everybody knows him for his sweet
disposition and his very freckled face, therefore the name "Freckled Angel"
stuck. Mobilt puts the phone down and sits on the couch across the room next to
Hanji. "You should probably just lay down until the next class. Lord knows you
don't wanna go to math now." He says to me and I follow his orders.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
"Did you seriously freak out over Historia?" Jean asks as we walk to lunch. Why
I chose to walk to lunch with him, even if Marco's with us, I don't know. Maybe
Hanji's right, maybe I do have a concussion. "Can we please drop it?" I groan
at him as we continue walking. "I just don't get it, I mean I get that your an
idiot, but how can she scare you? She couldn't harm a fly? She's too good for
you." He says to me and I roll my eyes. Sure, it's true, but I don't need him
telling me that.
"Well, at least I don't look like a fucking horse." I say and Marco chuckles.
"Hey! I thought you were on my side!" Jean yells exasperatedly. "I'm not on
anybody's side." He says, but he winks at me just to piss Jean off, and he
takes the bait. "I just don't know why that angel of a girl is dating you. If I
was dating her..."
"Hey, get your own angel!" I yell, wanting to protect my girlfriend from the
wheeling of Jean. "Gladly," he says and checks Marco out as we approach table,
who then blushes darkly. "God, just go fuck each other already, but save it for
after the game." I say and Jean chokes on his own spit as Marco's flush reaches
his neck. I sit next to Armin and Historia, putting an arm around her as Armin
shoots me a questioning look that I wave off. I don't need to get a lecture
from him, thank you, I'd rather eat in peace.
I pull out my bag lunch from my bag and pull out my sandwich. I have lunch with
Armin, Historia, her friend Ymir, Marco, and Jean the Horseface Kristein.
Historia and Ymir have been friends for ages with a tight-knit relationship.
They always partner up for projects, they hang out every weekend, the give each
other pet names, so on and so forth. Ymir herself is... well, I'm not too fond
of her. She's rude and abrasive, but she's nice enough to me, so I can't really
complain too much. She's very tall and has squinty eyes and a lot of freakles.
She's kinda of a female cross between Jean and Marco, much to my amusement.
Then there's Jean. We don't see eye-to-eye on... anything really. He's tall and
lean, much like his abnormally long face. He has squinty eyes and a really
shitty two-tone undercut that he obviously bleaches. He's the backup goalie and
starting center-mid on the team. "Hey, so are we going to the 104th tonight
after the game?" Marco asks as he recovers from his blush. "Yeah, that's the
plan, right?" I ask Armin. "It's a Friday night game, so I assume so," he says
and look around to see Erwin and Hanji walking by as I take a bite of my pb&j.
He grabs Erwin's arm. "Hey, you guys are going to the 104th tonight, right?" He
asks, using his big blue eyes on Erwin.
Erwin Smith is a bit of a god around here. He's gigantic: height, build,
eyebrows, hands, probably dick, ect. Handsome guy, blue eyes and perfect blonde
hair that never falls out of place. He's overly charming to the point I don't
really know what to think of him: fake or not. He's first string right defense
on our team, so we talk a lot, but it's normally game related. We chat
sometimes during practice, but I think he's more content with checking Armin's
ass out. He's bisexual according to Levi, but it's not public yet. He's waiting
to see if there a boy that he'd be willing to come out for, and judging by the
way he's looking at the boy next to me, he may have found him.
"Yes, I we are. Don't wanna miss karaoke night." He says as he continues to eye
fuck Armin. "Okay, see you tonight." Armin says looking down with a smile as
pink spreads on his cheeks. Erwin walks away and Hanji stays and wraps her arms
around my neck and I nearly choke on my sandwich at the tight grip. "Hey, my
fragile, little thing! Feeling better?" She says, leading to questioning looks
from around the table. "Yeah, I'm good. Thanks Hanj." I say and lean my head
back against her chin as an awkward replacement for a hug, but she didn't seem
to mind.
She walks away as Ymir, Marco, and Jean's gazes lock on me. "Is everything
okay, Eren?" Marco asks once Hanji is out of earshot. I look over to Armin and
see the same question in his eyes. "Everything is fine," I say with a smile and
Armin visibly relaxes. "What I'm wondering is if our little Ar Ar here is
fine." I say and he gives me a questioning look as I finish up the sandwich.
"W-what do you mean." He stammers with a glare, just daring me to bring it up.
Dare accepted. "Don't you think Erwin's shirt fit him nice today? Or were you
too busy looking at his pants." I say and Ymir lets out a bark. "My god, Muffin
Top here is almost as sexually frustrated as those two," she's says taking her
pointed finger from Armin to Jean and Marco, who all turns dark red. Historia
elbows Ymir and I in the side as we start to laugh. "Be nice," she says, but
she can't hold back the mirth in her voice. The warning bell rings as I hear
Ymir's low murmur, but can't catch what she's saying. "Want me to walk you to
class?" I ask Historia, who's blushing red. "Sounds great," she says quietly
and we get ready to go.
Chapter End Notes
     I have no regrets making Zackily the nurse, but I'm sorry if I spell
     his name wrong.
***** Game On *****
Chapter Notes
     Yay, time for the game! I honestly had so much fun writing this one,
     like, you have no idea. I just wanna say something so it doesn't
     become a problem. Levi is a very serious person, I just want to show
     how comfortable he feels with Eren, leading to this chapter. You see
     the deeper parts of their friendship in the next chapter or two, but
     this is basically fluff. BROMANCE FLUFF! Also, Rico is a boy. Sorry,
     I wanted to use her name for a soccer player, but it's a boys team,
     so... yeah! Haha, okay, enough of my rant. Enjoy!
"Who's ready for this?" Coach Pixis yells at us in the locker room. He's giving
us our pregame speech to get us pumped to beat the Garrison. They come from
Rose Academy, a snobby school in the city next to us. They're known for being
irrationally cocky despite their many losses. They have skill, but their
overconfidence makes them easy to take down. They play dirty, but not as dirty
as our rivals, the Titans. The Garrison mostly just look down their noses at
us. It's a winnable game as long as we don't get cocky like them. Plus we have
first possession since we did the coin flip before we came in here.
We yell to Pixis as a response to his earlier question, rhetorical or not.
"Let's get ready to win this! Line up in warmup formation!" He yells and we
line up to leave the locker room and go to the field. Levi leads one line and I
lead the other to the field, so we stand side by side at the door and wait for
everybody to line up. "You boys ready?!" I yell behinds me and they pretty much
roar back. "Tch, brats," Levi says with a smirk and turns to me.
"On three, Bright Eyes. One," he starts. "Two," I respond. "Three!" We yell
together and run to the field. We run through the entrance in our two lines as
music blares in our ears. We never really listen to serious pump up music, just
stuff to make us happy and keep it upbeat. No one wants to be too serious, plus
Pixis is anything but a traditional coach. Today, our first songs is Blank
Space. We reach the sidelines and the two lines spilt, running around the field
in opposite directions.
 
 
Nice to meet you  Where you been?
I could show you incredible things
Magic, madness, heaven, sin
Saw you there and I thought oh my god
Look at that face, you look like my next mistake
Love's a game, wanna play
New money, suit and tie
I can read you like a magazine
Ain't it funny rumors fly
And I know you heard about me
 
When we round the corner leading to us meeting at the opposite goal post, I see
Levi mouthing along and he makes eyes contact with me as he sings over
dramatically.
 
So hey, let's be friends
I'm dying to see how this one ends
Grab your passport and my hand
I could make the bad guys good for a weekend
 
He winks and me at the last part and I burst out laughing. Despite his stick-
in-the-mud reputation, he's actually pretty goofy once you get to know him.
Every game, we have our lip sync off since he helps me with my goalie warmups,
and I'm gonna win today. We cross and make out way to our warmup goal post as
Taylor continues to play through the speakers.
 
Screaming, crying, perfect storms
I could make all the tables turn
Rose garden filled with thorns
Keep you second guessing like oh my god
Who is she?
I get drunk on jealousy
But you'll come back each time you leave
Cause darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream
 
Once we reach our goal post, we circle up for a stretch. I stand next to Armin
as we begin our stretches, starting with reaching to our right toe. "One!" Levi
starts the counting, followed up by a half assed "two". I look at Armin and
roll my eyes at the pathetic attempt. He laughs along with me before we help by
screaming "four" along with them. We count the even numbers up to ten for
awhile after until we finish all of our stretches. I pull on my gloves on as
Levi grabs some balls for us to start. He's been assigned with helping me since
he doesn't really need to warm up, plus he enjoys making me suffer with target
practice. He comes to the net and puts two balls down, keeping one of them in
his hands as I kneel down for the warm up. He throws the ball to the side and I
fall to catch it. We continue this as Levi picks up his lip syncing. He pops
his hip like a girl in complement to the satiric song.
 
Got a long list of ex-lovers
 
His eyes widen and he puts on a creepy smile as he continues
 
They'll tell you I'm insane
 
He goes back to normal and put a hand on his heart dramatically as he continues
to mouth the song.
 
Cause you know I love the players
 
He points to me.
 
And you love the game
 
He dances as he continues to throw the ball to me.
 
Cause we're young and we're reckless
We'll take this way too far
It'll leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar
Got a long list of ex lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
But I got a blank space baby
 
He shrugs one of his shoulder quickly and points at me for the last line.
 
And I'll write your name
 
Then proceeds to throw the ball at my face. "Your turn Jaeger, and try to make
it good this time. Your Anaconda was embarrassing." He says and backs up to
kick another ball into my hands. I stand up and get ready for both the song and
Levi's soft or bullet lift to my hands. It's a reaction warmup, but easy enough
we can keep this going. As soon and I hear the intro, I know I can do this
song. This one will be easy. It's a slightly extended intro so I have time to
give a shit-eating grin to the man in front of me before I start. I sway my
hips as I keep catching the balls he kicks and attempt to mouth seductively.
 
She got a body like an hourglass
But I can give it to you all the time
She got a booty like a Cadillac
But I can send you into overdrive
 
I awkwardly dance around for the little part in the middle of the verse before
I point to Levi and sing the next part out loud.
 
See anybody could be bad to you, you need a good girl to blow your mind, yeah
 
I dance obnoxiously to the chorus, much to my team's amusement. They've all
become fascinated by the fact that the normally stoic guy will willingly and
publicly be a dork, plus I embarrass myself every time, so they really enjoy
it. At this point I know they're all watching as we make idiots of ourselves. I
point to Levi for him to take over the next verse. He pops his hip for the
first part...
 
She might've let you hold her hand in school
 
Then rolls them forward for the next part.
 
But I'mma show you how to graduate
 
The whole team behind me "oh"s as he shakes his butt for the next part.
 
No, I don't need to hear you talk the talk
 
Then he kicks the ball at me hard and pops his hip again.
 
 
Just come and show me what your momma gave
 
He swings his body to the side and winks at me for the next part.
 
See anybody could be good to you, you need a bad girl to blow your mind
 
He dances around to the chorus, and unlike me, he looks good while doing it. He
has a gracefulness about him I don't really understand. Nor does my body. Cause
lord knows I could never move my pelvis in the slow roll he so easily does.
It's almost funny to see some of the guys on the team check his ass out as he
dances. Levi and I continue to warm up as the rap part comes on and a crazy
little boy named Connie jumps behind Levi and starts to rap along perfectly,
much to my enjoyment and horror.
 
It’s Myx Moscato
It’s frizz in a bottle
It’s Nicki full throttle
It’s oh, oh
Swimming in the grotto
We winning in the lotto
We dipping in the pot of blue foam
Kitten so good
It's dripping on wood
Get a ride in the engine that could
Go, Batman robbin' it
Bang, bang, cockin' it
Queen Nicki dominant, prominent
 
Connie starts to Dougie and the boys start to scream to him as he dances. I
think the crowd is even cheering now.
 
It's me, Jessie, and Ari
If they test me they sorry
Ride his cock, like a Harley
Then pull off in this Ferrari
If we hanging, we banging
Phone ranging, he slanging
It ain’t karaoke night but
Get the mic ‘cause he singing
 
In that moment, I knew how I could win today. It's a stupid move, but it's new,
so I might surprise him. I send a smirk and a wink to Levi.
 
See anybody could be good to you
 
I slide out on my knees to in front of Levi, lean back, and dramatically lip
sync the last part
 
You need a bad girl to blow your mind
 
His eyes widen and jaw drops slightly in a silent chuckle and I know it worked.
He puts up his hands and backs up. "You win this round, Jaeger." He says with a
small smirk, leading the team behind him running up to me. "Yeah Eren!" Armin
slaps my back with a giggle. "You actually beat him!" Marco says, laughing as
well. I look to the bleachers to see Mikasa, Petra, Hanji, Mobilt, and our
friends Annie and Sasha up on the stands screaming to us, except Annie, who's
clapping with a small amused smirk, and Mikasa who decided to record this. They
come to every game, so they know this is a regular thing. "Okay, three-on-two!
Line up guys!" I yell to the team and they all line up for our final warmup
drill.
Once we finish that drill, we line up for the National Anthem. We stand in a
line and hold each other's left hand with their right from behind. "The
National Anthem will be sang by Mikasa Ackerman." The announcer says into the
microphone. Mikasa is an amazing singer, but was shy about it until Levi heard
her singing in the shower. He sat down outside of the door and waited until she
came out and made her sing. Since then, he's made sure she sings at all of our
games.
She takes the mic in the booth on top of the bleachers and her beautiful voice
rings through the air. Her voice is raspy, but not in a bad way, and strong,
even through the shitty speakers. The people on the team all squeeze hands down
the line until the song is over; then we just scream for Mika. "Okay, now it's
time to announce our starters. For the Garrison, number 01, Rico Brzenska!" We
clap twice for the players on the opposite team as they're announced.
"...number 45, Ian Dietrich! And the Garrison's goalie, number 53, Mitabi
Jarnach! Now to announce the starters for the Trees!" We all cheer obnoxiously
at our terrible name. There's something about the Trees that just aren't
intimidating. At all. Whatsoever. But it's nice for the element of surprise,
I'll give it that.
"Number 00, Levi Ackerman!" He runs down the line and high fives the team, then
fist bumps the refs, the shakes hands with the other coach, and repeat with the
others. "Number 01, Armin Arlert! Number 10, Oluo Bozado! Number 11, Marco
Bott! Number 14, Jean Kirstein! Number 15, Reiner Braun! Number 20, Bertolt
Hoover! Number 21, Eld Jinn! Number 22, Gunther Schultz! Number 23, Erwin
Smith! And last, your home team's goalie, number 25, Eren Jaeger!" The crowd
roars as we're all announced. I high five my team as I run by, fist bump our
refs, one being an old friend of my mom's, Hannes, who winks as our fists knock
together, and go shake the hand of the other coach. He's tall and rather scary
looking with his hallowed in eyes. "Good luck," he says with a tone that makes
me second guess the meaning. "You too," I respond and run back to my team.
"Huddle up!" Pixis yells and we circle up with our hands around each other's
shoulders or backs. "This is a very winnable game, we just have to put our mind
to it. Get ready guys. Since we start with the ball, get the ball to Arlert and
let him drive it, if you get stuck, pass to Ackerman. We can do it. Now put you
hands in." He says and we all reach in. "Trees on three! One, two, three..."
"Trees!" We yell and run to our positions on the field. Hannes walks slowly to
the middle with the ball and drops it in front of Marco, our left forward.
What I always loved about playing goalie is that I can see the whole field from
where I'm standing. It gives me a birds eye view of what to watch out for. When
Hannes blows the whistle, Marco kicks it to Armin, who begins to weave through
people. He's near their outside goal block when he gets stopped by a guy
probably twice his size. The guy steps to steal the ball by Armin's left foot,
but then Ar kicks it to his right and through the guys legs to Levi. Levi
drives to the left while a huge ass defensive person comes from the right. Just
as the guy reaches him, he quickly shifts to the right foot and drives that
way. The defensive person guarding him tries to change directions with him, but
keeps his weight on the wrong side and falls. Levi kicks the ball two steps in
front of him, and just as the goalie runs to grab it, he kicks it to the top
right corner, scoring our first goal. I look to the score board to see that
we're only about a minute in. One they tip the ball, their center mid gets it.
Great, center is easy.Erwin, Reiner, and Bert cover their forwards as their mid
comes to drive. He sends me a cocky smirk as he reaches the outside goal block.
He kicks it on the ground to my left side, thinking he just scored, turns
around and walks to center field. But little does he know I've been working on
my dive, so I lay out to the side and catch it above my head. I take the ball
and run right next to him for my punt, and his face was priceless. I punt to to
Jean, who drives it and in the last moment when their goalie slides, kicks it
out to Armin who scores right into the center. That's when, not surprisingly,
the other team calls a time out.
We run to our team and the people who were playing sit and get water. "Okay
Eren, what did you see?" Pixis asks me. He says I see things others don't from
the goal so leaves time outs to me. "Okay, middle back defense, the big guy?
His balance is shit. Have Levi and Armin keep driving in on him and you'll have
an opening since the goalie can't slide fast enough. Pretty soon they'll double
team you guys which will leave Marco wide open. It might also be good to go
back to Jean, Eld, or Oluo for a drive or a lob goal. Actually, Connie should
probably sub in for Oluo. We don't need aggressive, we need fast and to to
avoid confrontation. They'll get pissed soon then Oluo should play forward for
Marco so he doesn't injure his bad leg. They only have one person they're
comfortable with taking the ball to the net, you can tell by how the others
just let themselves be covered, and his best move is bottom right, so leave him
to me. You boys ready to win this?" I yell the last part and the boys all cheer
back at me. "I can't hear you!" I yell back and they yell even louder. We
circle up again and out our hands in. "Team on three! One, two, three..."
"Team!" And we go back out to the field, but before I go back out, someone taps
my arm and I turn to see Levi walking backwards to the field. "Seriously
Jaeger, how do you do that?" He says. I do it cause I'm good at observing
patterns. There's a specific reason I'm good at it, but I just smile back to
him. "Years of practice."
 
===============================================================================
 
 
We won the game 12-2. The two were scored on Jean, who hasn't perfected his
dive yet. I go to the sides to see everybody who watched the game and Historia
and Ymir. Historia runs up to me and hugs me, despite my sweat and mud covered
body.
"I'm sorry I was late, Ymir and I were finishing up a project." She says to me.
"It's fine. But you did miss he winning the sing off." I say, feigning hurt.
"Really? You've never beaten Levi! He's normally just better at dancing than
you." She says honestly. Yeah, I suck at dancing. "Yeah, but I used the element
of surprise." I say and she giggles. I see someone walking over out of the
corner of my eye and I look up, instantly terrified of the man I see.
He's tall with abnormally long hair and Harry Potter, small, beady eyes, and a
mouth in a everlasting grimace. Grisha Jaeger. "I'll catch up with you." I say
to Historia and meet my father half way. "Eren." He says while holding back
anger already. Shit, what happened? "Father." I say shortly. "So what was this
I hear about a panic attack?" He gets right to the point. Well fuck. "It was
nothing." I say looking down, not meeting his eyes. He grabs my arm roughly and
digs his fingers into the flesh. To anyone else, this would look like a normal
scolding father, but they don't smell the booze in his breath as he spits out
at me. "We're going home. Now." He says and starts to pull me and I resist. "I
have to go out with the team. I already promised." I say and he glares at me.
"Well, then cancel with them." He says and I glare back. We stand there go a
second before he starts to pull me again. Suddenly, there's another arm in
front of me, stopping me from moving. "I'm sorry, Mr. Jaeger, but we need Eren
tonight." Levi says next to me, face calm but his eyes screaming. "And I need
him home." Grisha says and digs into my arm a little harder. "And he has a
prior commitment that counteracts the sudden decision of his father." He says
as he steps in between us and grabs my fathers arm. What is he doing? "You'll
have him back in the morning. I really don't see what the problem is." Levi
continues through gritted teeth. Damn, he's pissed. Grisha glares daggers at
Levi and then let's go of my arm, ripping his own from Levi's grip, then walks
away. He grabs both of my shoulders and looks into my eyes. "You okay?" He says
softly, all anger from before fading. My breath catches in my throat as my mind
catches up to me. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I choke out, looking down. I hear
him sigh lightly as he holds me there for a little longer, then let's go. "Come
on, let's get going." He says and walks away as I slow my breathing. What just
happened?
***** Karaoke Night *****
Chapter Notes
     So updates are just gonna come as I write them. I have finals next
     week and I'm trying to write as much as possible, so I don't know
     when I update next, but I'll try and make it soon. Like, next few
     days, but idk exactly. This chapter is much longer and the fluff
     continues. More bromance fun! Well... Bromance is one word for it I
     guess. So, I have plans and they will take awhile, so this will be
     long, but I don't how long. Also, I gave Sasha and accent. Little
     manga addition there. So yeah. Enjoy:)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
I meet up with Armin in car. He left the top down today since it was warm and
there was a low chance of rain. I sit down next to him and look into my lap,
allowing myself to get lost in thought.
Why did Levi stop my father? I mean, it's really not his business, so what made
him do it? He's not one to make unnecessary conflict, so that was weird. Plus,
Grisha is like twice his size. Levi may be strong, but he's shorter than me. By
a lot. And what did he said I'm going back tomorrow? That wasn't part of the
plan. Does he know? He couldn't possibly... could he?
"Eren!" Armin yells, taking me out of my mind. "Are you okay dude? You just
completely spaced out." He says, leaning forward to make eye contact with me.
"Yeah, I'm good." I say as I look across the parking lot to Levi's car. I find
him already looking at me, but he instantly looks away when I look his way.
"What's up with him?" Armin asks, following my gaze to Levi.
"I'm not sure." I say and look over to Armin. He turns to eyes me skeptically.
"I really don't get you two sometimes." He laughs as he starts the car. I wait
until he pulls out to keep talking, knowing his flustered tendencies.
"So, Erwin checked out your ass again today." I say to Armin and he chokes on
his own spit.
"W-wha... funny Eren. I know you're kidding." He says with a heavy blush.
"I wish I was. Do you know how disturbing it is to see him gawk at you? I swear
he could get off at you playing soccer." "
Eren!" He shrieks, blush traveling down his neck.
"Seriously though, why don't you two just get together. Your sexual tension is
suffocating." I say and he groans loudly.
"Okay, like you're one to talk. What about you and Historia?" He asks, partly
cruel but mostly curious.
"I don't know, I just haven't felt that way for her. It'll happen when it
happens." I say to him. It's honestly a little weird if I'm being honest with
myself. I mean, we've been dating for almost three years now and I haven't had
so much a boner over her. But that can't be that unusual... right?
"She also told me that she'd be willing to wait." I tell him, feeling more
confident in that fact.
"She's willing to wait? So she wants to do it?" He asks.
"Yeah, she wants to, but I just... haven't gotten that far yet." I say as I
sink into my seat. So much for confidence.
"Just be careful. I don't want you getting hurt due to this." He says and I
turn to argue, but then I see the look on his face, eyes are filled with worry.
"I'll be fine Ar." I say and pat his knee. When I told Historia I loved her, it
was no little thing. She said she'd always love me and I said I'd always love
her. Something in that moment made me realize this wasn't some passing thing. I
kid about them being our "vows" and she laughed then kissed me. She said that
she believed, in a way, they were. I know I could be happy with her for the
rest of my life, but I know she could do better. Part of me still worries she
will. Especially after she finds out.
We turn into the parking lot of the 104th and Armin grabs my bag and throws it
at me. "You need to change dude, you smell like shit. I don't know why you have
to wear a long-sleeved jersey." He says. Ah, yes, yet another perk of being
goalie. Long-sleeved shirts without question.
"Like you're one to talk about smelling like shit. You better be changing too."
I say as I move to get out.
"By the way, Grandpa is paying for dinner tonight. He gave me money for both of
us." He says with a shy smile. He knows my dad isn't big on this "team bonding"
thing, and his grandpa, being the sweet guy he is, helps me pay for me to keep
going.
"You really don't need to." I say and Armin shoots me a "shut the fuck up dude"
look and I look down. "Thanks." I say as we start to walk in.
"No problem, dude. Besides, after a game, you eat like you'll never see food
again, which is worrisome and entertaining." He says with a chuckle and I shove
his shoulder with mine.
"Yeah, yeah, let's go change, asshole." I say as we walk through the doors. We
go straight to the bathroom and go to our own stalls. I strip myself of my
uniform and pull out my clothes. I pull out my grey skinny jeans and wiggle
into them. My legs aren't that sore anymore due to the fact I heal rather
quickly, so I can do the skinny jean dance in my stall without falling. After I
get those on, I grab a long, blue sweater and pull that on. I pluck my black
lace up boots and fresh socks out of my bag and put them on.
Lastly, I get out a locket on a leather cord. It's a heart shaped one with the
letters C, R, and P. Carla Rose Peterson, or, after marriage, Jaeger. My
mother. I fasten it around my neck and slip it under my sweater, feeling the
cold metal on my chest. Sometimes it's nice just to have a piece of her with
me, despite everything.
I gather up my clothes and stuff them back into my bag. When I walk out of the
stall, I go straight for the sink. As much as I love this place, it's not the
most hygienic place you'll ever see. I wash my hands as Armin comes out of the
stall. He's wearing a light pink v-neck, grey converse, and light wash skinny
jeans that fit him like skin. Not a second skin, his first one. We walks up to
the mirror and pulls his hair out of its ponytail from earlier. "How does you
hair still look good after a ponytail and a soccer game?" I asks him and he
looks at me with amusement in his eyes.
"Coming from the boy who didn't wear a hair tie and still looks perfect.
Honestly, your hair is starting to come to your shoulders." He says and I look
in the mirror. He's right, the bottom layers of my hair brush my shoulders and
the front pieces fall as far as my nose. I guess I got used to it being in my
face, cause there's a few strings covering my eyes.
"I could put it up, but I just like it down." I say and run my fingers through
my hair.
"Whatever, let's get out there." He says as we turn to head out. The 104th
isn't your typical diner. It looks like a club from the inside, but minus the
alcohol and guards at the door. It's a lesser known place owned by our very own
ref, Hannes, who took the place over from his father. It's a family business,
pass down from years ago. Hannes renovated it and got a karaoke machine and
since then, it's been the team's hang out. Well, the team and friends.
We walk out of the bathroom by the front door and walk to the long table at the
side. Levi, Erwin, Hanji, Mobilt, and Petra are already seated when we come
over. I sit next to Levi so Armin can sit next to Erwin on the other side. "Hey
guys!" I say as I slide in, not missing the quick glare from Armin as I put my
legs up next to me on the booth.
"Hey Eren! Your lip sync game was on point today!" Hanji says to me, pulling
out her phone.
"Thanks Hanj, but I really didn't do much different than normal." I say to her
as she harshly taps at her phone.
"Here, let me show you!" She says as she reaches across Petra and Levi to shove
a phone up to my nose, leading to a death glare from Levi.
"I'd really rather not." I say and push the hand out of my face.
"But it was so funny and... OWW!" She's interrupted by Levi grabbing the front
of her goggle like glasses and snapping them on her face.
"Leave the brat alone." He says, tone bored as he then picks up a menu.
"Aww, is Little Levi upset that he actually lost today. You know Mikasa also
got your forfeit." She continues much to Levi's annoyance.
"Shut it Shitty Glasses. I really don't care about that as much." Levi says.
"What if he wins the sing off too? Then will Little Levi pout some more?" Erwin
adds from across the table.
"Seriously? You too Eyebrows?" Levi says, looking a mix of pissed and offended.
I can't stop the giggle from that comes from me at the almost childish
response, and I can see that Armin and Petra are having similar problems.
"Okay, now you guys are just trying to piss me off. Even the juniors are
laughing at me." He says, voice laced with disbelief, but you can catch the
slight amusement.
"Don't worry Levi, I think if anyone is gonna win tonight, it's gonna be Connie
with his rapping." Petra says as she rubs Levi's arm. At this point, the whole
table laughs.
The laughter gets even louder when we hear a voice from the door. "I heard my
name! Don't wear it out!" Connie yells as he makes his way to the table.
Connie is a crazy motherfucker. He's known as the jokester of the school, and
he easily lives up to that title. We stared joking that he looked like Aang
from Avatar the Last Airbender due to his practically bald head, big eyes
(although brown, not grey), and his goofy stuff. And who would be fit to be his
Katara? A girl equally as crazy as him named Sasha Blouse, who's coming in with
Connie's arm around her. She's a goofy girl who is always willing to get into
trouble, especially when it comes to food. The auburn haired girl is very
serious over her food. She also has big brown eyes, but she stands much taller
than her boyfriend.
They walk over and sit next to me on the booth where my feet were. "Seriously
though, what's up?" Connie says as he scoots in.
"We were just talking about your.. um... what's the word... amazing rap
earlier." Mobilt says and we all laugh.
"Damn straight it was. Where is everyone else? I need to go from Nicki to Iggy
now." He says.
"Tryin' to postpone their ears bleedin' for as long as possible." Sasha says
and we all laugh, minus Connie.
"Oh babe, you know you love my raps." He says and leans in for a kiss, which
she stops with a hand to his mouth.
"In your dreams, hun." She says and we laugh at their couple banter.
"Ya'll pick out a song yet?" Sasha asks. It's a tradition that we all pick out
a song, whether we want to or not.
"I'm thinking I Will Survive. I might just win tonight." Erwin says with a
smirk. I hear a rather loud groan coming from Levi and Hanji as I chuckle at
the thought of the Erwin the Bass singing that.
"What about you Armin?" Petra asks with mirth over the two next groaning on
either side of her. "I'm singing Hit Me With Your Best Shot." He says shyly.
"Classic," Mobilt says with a smile, reassuring Armin.
"What about you two?" Armin asks Levi and I.
"Stand Up by One Direction," He says and we all stare at him. "What?" He says,
looking genuinely confused.
"And here I thought you were a hipster." Connie says in fake astonishment and
Hanji laughs loudly.
"So, what about you, Eren?" Erwin asks.
"Um, I'm not sure yet, but I was thinking Never Say Never by..."
"Justin Bieber!" A high pitched voice shirks and we turn to see Mikasa with an
overly dramatic fangirl smile on her face and bursts out laughing. Annie, who's
standing next to her, smirks as they walk over to us and sit down next to
Armin.
"God Eren, I thought you had better taste than that." Annie says, her face
going back to its normal, indifferent look.
Annie is Mikasa's best girl friend. They're both similar in their limited
emotions, but neither are by any means coldhearted. Annie is a very athletic
girl, star of the volleyball team, and not afraid to throw a punch. She's
beautiful with her short blonde hair and icy blue eyes.
"God, not Justin Bieber, the Fray." I say and Levi sighs next to me.
"You really had me worried there." He says with a hand on his chest. I laugh at
the gesture and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Do you really have such little faith in me?" I say as I lean down with a pout.
I'm holding back a giggle at the fact I have to lean down to eye level with him
while sitting.
He covers his face with his hands. "Damnit, not the eyes. I'm a sucker for the
eyes." He says and the whole table starts to laugh.
Just then, Eld, Gunther, and Oluo come into the restaurant. "What is happening
and what did Eren do?" Eld says as they all walk over to the table. Oluo sits
next to Petra and the other two sit next to him, hand in hand.
"He used the eyes." Levi groans through his hands.
"Oh boy, not this again." Gunther says with a small smirk.
Gunther is the front defense for our team. He has blackish brown hair that he
keeps in a point, tan skin, and dark eyes. He's a rather serious guy when it
comes to sports, but he has a soft spot for his friends and boyfriend.
His boyfriend, Eld, is a lighthearted kind of guy. He's really nice and cares
about everybody. He kinda of looks like a hippie with his long blonde hair that
he parts in the middle. He has light brown eyes, similar to Oluo's hazel eyes.
Oluo is a bit of an ass, not gonna lie. He is condescending and rude, but at
least Petra can put him in his place. He has a painful obvious crush on her, to
the point he'll do anything to please her. He has gone as far as to copy Levi
to win her affections, failing at both winning her and his impersonation, not
to mention the undercut that looks worse than Jean's. I think he probably means
well, but he just rubs me wrong.
Levi looks up from his hands to Gunther with a questioning look. "What do you
mean "this again"?" He asks.
"Well, Eren makes you go soft with his eyes." Eld says with a small smile.
"I'm not soft." Levi says, crossing his arms and slouching. I bust up laughing
at the immature motion and he looks up at me with a betrayed face.
"I'm sorry, Levi, but you look like such a kid right now. Not to mention your
height...."
I'm interrupted but him grabbing my collar and bringing me down to his level.
"Wanna finish that, brat?" He says and pulls me close enough our noses are
bumping.
"Is Levi trying to make out with my boyfriend again?" A little voice I know all
too well comes from behind my head.
I glance back to see Historia and Ymir at the door. "Hey Historia! I'm trying
not to die by being ripped apart by Levi." I say and he lets go of me with a
smirk. I climb under the table (grabbing Armin's crotch while I'm at it, since
he doesn't seem flustered anymore) and go to give her a hug as she giggle.
"Well I'm glad I could keep you from being killed." She laughs into my
shoulder.
"He's scary for someone so tiny." I say and she giggles again.
"I swear to god, Jaeger..."
"Anyway, before I get murdered, did you see Bert, Reiner, Jean, or Marco?" I
ask and sit down by Sasha to sit next to Historia.
"Bert and Reiner were talking to Hannes when we left and... umm..." Historia
starts.
"Marco's finally riding the horse." Ymir finishes. Hanji bursts out laughing
and the rest of us are left with either disturbed or amused faces.
"Good wording," Annie murmurs with a slight smirk.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
Once everybody got here, Connie immediately started his karaoke version of
Fancy that honesty scared the shit out of me. First off, how does he know all
the lyrics? And second, how is it that he can act like a woman so easily? These
are question I have but never wish to have answered. We moved from the table to
the the floor by the stage to watch everybody sing.
"Okay, which one of you suckers are gonna follow that." Connie says into the
mic as we all look around the room.
"Bert and Reiner will do it!" Mikasa yells from next to said men.
Bert and Reiner are that couple ever person wants to be. They've known each
other for their whole lives. They have such different personalities that they
compliment each other. Bert is shy and tends to sweat around people while
Reiner is confident and like an older brother to everyone.Bert is sweet, a good
guy to be around, and gives the best hugs due to his extremely tall self. He
has green, gold eyes and brown hair. Reiner has blonde hair and gold eyes. He's
shorter than Bert, but not short by any means.
"I don't think I could beat that," Reiner says and puts his hands up.
"Come on guys!" Erwin yells and we all back him up by screaming with him.
Reiner looks to a sweating Bert and shrugs.Bert smiles and looks up. "Yeah,
we'll go." He says and we cheer them on. They walk up on stage. After typing on
the computer, they walk up to the microphones. The music flow through the air
and I can't hold back the laughter that comes at Reiner starts to sing the girl
part.
 
 
Summer lovin', had me a blast
Summer lovin', happened so fast
Met a girl crazy for me
Met a boy cute as can be
Summer days drifting away
To, uh oh, those summer nights
 
 
We all yell the part that the chorus sings and they continue as I walk over to
Mikasa. "Hey," she says with a smile on her face at the scene.
"Hey, you seem happy tonight." I say and she pulls her red scarf up over her
nose.
"No more than usual." She says defensively and looks down.
"You're lying." I say and she sighs.
"Not right now." She says and I nod.
"I'll tell you if you spend the night tonight. Levi is having Petra over and
said you and Armin could come too." She explains and my mind goes back to his
conversation with Grisha.
"You'll have him back in the morning. I really don't see what the problem is."
Was he already going to do this? Or was it planned because of earlier. Either
way, it would be stupid to go home at this point.
"Okay, sounds good." I say and turn back to the stage for the big ending. One
question: How can Reiner sing that high? At the end of the song, we all cheer
loudly for them.
"Next, I nominate Levi!" Reiner says into the mic and Levi rolls his eyes.
"You really want to hear me sing One Direction that bad?" He asks in amusement.
"Hear it? Dude I'm recording it. This is a big step for boy bands everywhere."
He says and only slightly flinches at Levi's glare.
"Fine, whatever." He says and walks up on stage, leaning on the table with the
computer on it. He finds the song and Mikasa grabs my hand and starts to walk
to the stage.
"I really want to see this." She says and pulls out her phone.
"Shit, I can't believe I'm doing this." Levi says into the microphone and
presses play. Armin comes next to me as Levi looks our way and starts to sing.
 
 
From the moment I met you
Everything changed
I knew I had to get you
Whatever the pain
I had to take you and make you mine
 
He looks down in a way that's almost shy as he keeps singing.
 
I would walk through the desert
I would walk down the aisle
I would swim all the oceans
Just to see you smile
Whatever it takes is fine
 
 
So put your hands up
Cause it's a stand up
And I won't be leaving 'til I've finished stealing every piece of your heart
 
I'm starting to think this song was a dare around the chorus because of how
uncomfortable he looks. It sounds good, don't get me wrong. He has a a voice
with a slight rasp and a range most people can't hit... at least can't hit
well.
 
I know your hearts been broken
But don't you give up
I'll be there yeah I know it
To fix you with love
It hurts me to think that you've ever cried
 
He continues as everybody cheers at his rendition on the boy band song. His
face is impassive, but in his eyes he hold so many emotions that I wonder why
he's doing this: nervousness, fear, and to my surprise, relief. That is until
his eyes meet mine as he sings the ending.
 
Call me a thief
Cause you know your part
I'm only here
Because you stole my heart 
Chapter End Notes
     Let me know how the new format is! I hope it helps:)
***** The Basement *****
Chapter Notes
     I have a snowday today, so I thought I'd post a short chapter. It's a
     backstory, that's why I slip in and out of past tense. I really hope
     you guys like it!
Levi was adopted into the Ackerman home halfway through his sophomore year, a
little after I started dating Historia. It was an abnormally fast process and
not even Mikasa knows why. He was a lot different back then. He was shy, and
when he did talk, it was sharp comebacks that were always offensive. I knew
something made him this way, but it's hard to help when he pushed everyone
away.
So, whenever I'm at a sleepover, I don't sleep. I heard a guitar coming from
the basement, so I went to investigate. I came down and saw him playing, eyes
closed and swaying. When I sat down on the couch with him, he jumped off the
couch and put the guitar down.
"What the fuck? Ever heard of knocking or anything?" He said while pacing.
"Sorry, I didn't know I had to knock to come to the basement." I said and he
eyed me skeptically.
"Why are you awake?" He asked.
"I should ask you the same thing."
"I asked first."
"I couldn't sleep, you?"
He sat down again and put his head in his hand."Yeah, same here." He said
quietly.
"Well, go on." I said and he shot me with a questioning look. "Play again." I
said and he shook his head.
"I don't like to play for people." He said and looked at the guitar.
"You know you can trust me, Levi, right?" I asked and his head snapped over to
me. That's when I saw it for the first time. The steel in his eyes had flecks
of sky blue. We look at each other for awhile until he picks up the guitar.
"I swear to god, if you laugh..."
"I won't." I said and he sighed. He put his hands on the string and closed his
eyes.
He picked at the strings so precisely, I wondered why he thought I would laugh.
After a few seconds, I realized what song he was playing. I didn't think he
would play me a song, let alone sing, but he did.
 
 
White lips, pale face,
Breathing in snowflakes,
Burnt lungs, sour taste,
Light's gone, day's end,
Struggling to pay rent,
Long nights, strange men,
 
He sang the song with such emotion, I had to wonder what the song meant to him.
 
And they say,
She's in the Class A Team,
Stuck in her daydream,
Been this way since eighteen,
But lately her face seems,
Slowly sinking, wasting,
Crumbling like pastries,
They scream,
The worst things in life come free to us,
And we're all under the upper hand,
Go mad for a couple grams,
And we don't want to go outside tonight,
And in a pipe we fly to the motherland?
Or sell love to another man,
It's too cold outside?
For angels to fly,
Angels to fly,
To fly, fly,
For angels to fly, to fly, to fly,
For angels to die.
 
 
He set down the guitar and put his head in his hands. After a moment, I
realized his shoulders were shaking. I moved closer to him and put my arm
around him, but he pushed it away and moved further down the couch, glaring at
me, tears coming from his eyes.
"Levi, please, trust me." I say and his steel eyes softened. He brought his
legs up to his chest and cried a real, audible cry and when I knelt facing him
and put my hand on his knee, he didn't push me away. He cried every tear I knew
he was holding back. He wept and eventually put his legs down, crossing them,
leaving his head to hang.
I picked it up by his chin and wiped the tears with my thumb. He looked up at
me with his eyes unguarded and that's when I felt it. My heart slamming in my
chest. The overwhelming sense to protect this boy. To love this boy. But I had
a girlfriend and he was probably straight so I pushed that to the side. I'll
get over it, right?
I remember the way he leaned forward and put his forehead against mine. How we
sat there for probably hours, just being together, staring into each others
eyes. How it felt to feel so at peace with someone. And how eventually he put
his head on my shoulder and fell asleep with a small smile.
After this, Levi put in a real effort to not push everyone out of his life. He
made friends, started actually agreeing to hangout with Erwin and Hanji, joined
soccer, and got a girlfriend. We always met up in the basement when ever I
stayed over and we became friends. We always keep the memory of that first
night when he opened up in ways I don't think I fully understand to this day.
I never told anybody about that night.
And neither did he.
***** Define "Sleep" *****
Chapter Notes
     SO I CRIED AFTER THE MANGA UPDATE. LIKE HOLY SHIT. THAT WAS SO SAD.
     No spoilers to those who don't read it, but despite the fact I didn't
     want it to happen, this side of Eren was a headcannon of mine and I'm
     SO SAD I WAS RIGHT. Anyways, on a happier note, sleepover party!!!
     Whoop whoop! I don't even know right now... I'm making this one
     shorter than intended cause I'm finishing up another part right now,
     so I'll probably update tomorrow. So, enjoy. (No smilie face, only
     cry face :,( Not smiling from that manga chapter.)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
I open the shotgun seat for Mikasa before going to the backseat and plopping
down in the back seat. Levi wasn't singing that for me? Was he? He doesn't like
me that way... right? No. He has a girlfriend. I have a girlfriend. Then why
does the thought of him still make my heart beat so fast?
We get to Mikasa's house and immediately go to the living room as Levi and
Petra go upstairs and we grab out usual blankets and pillows from a pile on the
corner of he room. Kenny stopped moving them cause we come over frequently
enough.
We lay down with each other's, our heads on each other's stomachs. We normally
lay like this before we get into talking about deep shit. I'm a little anxious
to see what Mikasa has to say, but she decides to talk about something else
instead.
"So, how's Historia." She asks and I sigh. The whole night at the 104th,
whenever I tried to hang out with her, she was always talking or laughing or
just being with Ymir.
"I don't know. I'm worried she's getting bored with me. We used to be so in
sync, now I'm surprised when she pops up behind me. Plus she's always with Ymir
so I don't get to see her. I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking this." I say
and turn my head sideways on Mikasa's stomach. "Anyway, enough sad stuff,
what's up in the world of Mika?" I ask and hear Armin shift.
"Did something happen in choir?" He asks and I feel her heart beat fast.
"Well... I don't know how you guys will react when you find out." She says
quietly and it makes my heart ache.
"Mika, you know, whatever it is, we'll be okay with it." Armin says and I nod.
"Okay. So... I... um... like Annie." She says and Armin's hands shoot up.
"I knew it!" He says and I laugh at the way her tummy moves as she gasps.
"But... how?" She asks, confused yet calm for the situation.
"Cause you're skin is slightly darker around her which is as close to a blush
as you get." Armin says and Mikasa slaps his knee.
"I've noticed that too. You turn pink." I say and she groans.
"So, you're gay?" I asks and she chuckles.
"There's no getting past you, Eren." She says and Armin laughs while I pout on
her stomach.
"I know I'm dumb, don't rub it in." I say and she rubs my hair.
"Calm down. You're stupidity is endearing." She says and I can hear the smile
in her voice.
"And what about you, Armin? You spent most of the night with Erwin." I ask and
I feel the heat come from his head that's probably a blush.
"Well, um, he kissed me tonight." He says and Mikasa and I shoot up,
effectively pushing him off my stomach and onto my thigh.
"Finally!" I yell and his blush turns darker. "How was it?" Mikasa asks. Armin
swallows before look at my leg and tracing circles absentmindedly on it.
"He's very good at it. It was really slow and sweet and I had to go on my
tiptoes." He says with a smile.
"That's so cute," I say and lay back down on Mikasa, who looks down at my with
an amused smile.
"Eren, sometimes I wonder just how straight you are." She says and I laugh.
"Honey, I'm not straight. My first crush was a guy." And my third, I think to
myself. She lays back down on Armin and sighs.
"So, Armin has a new boy toy, I have a crush on a girl, and Eren is confused
about his relationship. Is this some kind of soap opera?" Mikasa asks and Armin
and I laugh.
"Yeah, Ar will become an mad scientist, Mikasa will have an evil twin, and I'll
end up with Mika's long lost cousin." I say and we all laugh.
"But, we'll all live happily ever after." Armin says and I feel my stomach
twist. Happily ever after. People like me don't live happily ever after.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
I go to the basement after Mikasa and Armin fall asleep. Levi isn't down here
yet, so I pick up his guitar and start playing. He taught me basic chords after
awhile of us hanging out. It's a bit after 1 in the morning, so I know he won't
be that long. Petra falls asleep quickly. I laugh at the song that come to my
head as I think of the time. Of course. My hands find there place as I close my
eyes and strum. I make a short intro before I begin to sing.
 
 
Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone 'cause
I can't fight it anymore.
 
Then I hear a voice behind the couch start to sing the harmony and know just
who's coming down the stairs.
 
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.
 
He sits next to me on the couch and crosses his legs as he continues to sing
with me.
 
It's a quarter after one,
I'm all alone and
I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but
I've lost all control and
I need you now.
And I don't know how
I can do without.
I just need you now.
 
I nod my head to him to take over the next verse and he looks at me and smiles.
 
Another shot of whiskey,
Can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in
The way you did before.
 
We continue to sing in harmony until the bridge. We look into each other's eyes
in unspoken agreement as we sing it.
 
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
 
We finish up the song and I put the guitar down. I look over to Levi as I lean
into the couch. "Hey." I say quietly, despite the fact it's unneeded.
"Hey." He breathes back with a smile.
"Good game today." I say, worried about him bringing up a central conversation
from earlier.
"Thanks, you too." He says to me moves so he's sitting sideways, facing me.
"They really sucked." I say with a small laugh.
"Yeah, the Garrison is kind of known for that though." Levi says. I let the
silence fall, hoping that it wouldn't be broken, but since it's Levi, he brings
up the one thing I want to avoid like the plague.
"So, your father seems like a grade a asshole." He says and look down.
"Um, I guess." I say quietly.
"Is everything okay with that?" He asks, worry lacing his voice.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I say. It's kinda of my default response at this point, but
part of me knows Levi knows something's up. He puts his hand over mine and I
look up at him.
"Just know you can tell me anything." He says as he laces our finger together.
I can tell Levi needs to sleep, the dark circles under his eyes have become
more pronounced. I put my arm around him and he leans into my shoulder.
I just want to say, I've never cheated on Historia, Levi and I just have a very
close relationship. Nothing has ever gone past holding hands or cuddling, as
weird as all this may sound. I know without it having to be said that Levi
doesn't sleep well, but he always falls asleep if he's with me, so I don't
argue it when he slips one arm around my waist and squeezes my hand.
When I notice he's starting to drift off, I kick my legs up and lay down and he
lays his head on my chest, looking at our hands. He pulls them up next to his
face when I realize what he's looking at.
"You're fine, huh?" He says as he pulls my sleeve down to reveal thin scars
going up my arm.
"Talk, Jaeger." He says as he begins to trace them with his fingers.
"Sleep, Ackerman." I say and he rolls his eyes. "Seriously, tell me the last
time you slept a full night." I say and he sighs.
"Last time you were over." He mumbles and I pull my sleeve up with the arm
that's around him.
"Exactly. Now sleep." I say as I use the arm around him to play with his hair.
He leans into my fingers like a cat and I have to hold back a giggle.
"Goodnight Bright Eyes." He says as he grabs my hand again.
"Goodnight Levi." I say. I stay awake as his breath evens and he falls asleep.
As I lay there with him, I let my mind wander to everything. What's gonna
happen to Historia and I? What happens when I go home tomorrow? And why can't I
breathe as Levi nuzzles into my chest?
Chapter End Notes
     CALL ME CHEESEY ALL YOU WANT. I LIVE FOR FLUFF.
***** Wake Up Call *****
Chapter Notes
     So, this chapter marks the end of the Intro Arc. Kinda of. It's gonna
     get darker form here on out. Just a warning for all ya'll. I had fun
     with this chapter cause Levi is a cute little midget. So tell me your
     thoughts! Enjoys the happiness for now tho:)
"They do this every time." I hear Armin say behind the couch. I close my eyes
so he doesn't see I didn't sleep.
"It's kind of cute." Petra says, I can hear the laugh in her voice.
"Yeah, but they're like brothers to me. It's just odd." Mikasa says and Armin
and Petra laugh.
"So, who should wake them up?" Petra asks and there's a moment of silence.
"You should Petra. You're gentle and Armin's bed head is actually scary." Mika
says and I hear a light slap, probably playful. Suddenly, there's someone
poking my arm, and if the groans next to me are anything to go by, Levi's too.
"Hey guys, wake up." Petra says lightly and I fake sleepily open my eyes. I
look up at Petra and smile.
"Mornin'," I say and she smiles down to me and Levi pulls me closer from the
arm he snaked around my neck in his sleep.
"Sorry." I mouth to her and she laughs.
"Oh, hun, I'm just happy he's getting sleep. But I think Mikasa is going to
make breakfast, so if you want some, maybe we should leave him here." She says
and I nod. Slowly, I untangle myself from Levi and put a pillow in his empty
arm, which he then squeezes tightly.
"Damn, you should be happy you weren't still there." Armin says with a chuckle
and we all laugh lightly. We get upstairs to the Ackerman Family Kitchen. It's
a yellowish-gold color with white crown molding with matching eggshell
cabinets. There's a small kitchen ares that flows into a dining space that we
rarely use when over. Between the two is a peninsula attached to the hardwood
counters with three bar stool. There's a sliding door behind the table and a
window above the sink where you can see the rain come down from the bleak grey
skies that oddly enough, makes me feel at peace.
Petra and Armin sit down at the kitchen island and I got to where Mikasa is
standing in front of the fridge and put my chin on her shoulder. "Want some
help cooking?" I ask and she cracks a smile.
"Sure, you make the pancakes and coffee, I'll make the bacon." She says and
starts pulling out ingredients.
"Sounds good." I say and walk over to the cupboard to pull out the coffee and
filters. I get out the filter cup and empty it, then put another paper in and
place it back into the machine. I measure out 6 tablespoons of coffee and dump
them all into the filter and take out the pot. I go to dump that out as I hear
the stove start to sizzle and phones vibrating.
"Hey, Mika? When do we have to be home by?" Armin asks and she shrugs.
"Ask Kenny when he comes down. It'll be as soon as he smells coffee." She says
and I laugh.
"Classic Kenny." I say as I pour the water I got from the pot into the coffee
maker. I turn on the machine and turn to get a pan from the cabinet. I set it
on the stove and bump Mikasa's shoulder with mine as I turn it on, leading to a
small smirk and a slap on the ass from her. I get a big bowl from the cupboard
by the sink and go to the pantry to get the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt,
and bananas, the aroma that the dark beans produce in the air. Then I go to the
fridge and grab the eggs and milk and put them in the counter with the others.
When I start to dump the ingredients and mix them, I hear steps coming down the
stairs.
"Hey kids." Kenny says as he goes to get a cup, dressed in a suit and his
fedora.
"Wait." He's says and counts us. "There's only four kids here and only one of
them are mine. Where's Levi?" He asks.
"Still asleep." Armin says and Kenny lets out a bark laugh.
"Of course he is, Jaeger's here. I don't know what you do to that boy, but feel
free use your sleep powers anytime." He says and continues to look for a mug.
"Will do," I say with a laugh and set my whisk down in the sink. I start to
pour the batter as a sleepy voice comes up behind me.
"Good lord, did I wake up in a fucking Jack Johnson song?" He says and Mikasa
laughs. He stands in the doorway with a oversized black sweater and grey pants
that cover his feet. His eyes look brighter than usual despite the fog of
sleep. His hair sticks up in weird places, leaving a very messy bedhead behind.
He stand there with the pillow held to his stomach, even as he moves to the
cabinet. God, he's adorable. Wait.
"That depends, are you going to get your guitar and actually play for us?" Mika
says and bumps him with her hip as he goes to get a cup.
"Yeah, Levi, I haven't heard you play in ages." Petra says and pouts. Armin
scoots closer to her and pouts as well and I let out a chuckle at the overly
cute picture.
"Good, guilt trip me. I see how it is. Just let me get some damn coffee, if
Kenny would ever move his ass." He says and Kenny smirks.
"Yes, my pride and joy, my adopted son who gives me happiness. You can get your
coffee when I'm done. Some of us have to work today, you little shit." He says
and Armin, Mikasa, Petra, and I laugh at the interaction.
"Hard to believe you're not actually related sometimes." Mikasa says and faces
the bacon as Kenny and Levi turn to each other, the former smirking lightly and
the latter glaring harshly.
"I wonder too." Kenny says and rubs Levi's already messed up hair. "Gotta go to
work. Stay as long as you want, I couldn't give a shit, just don't trash the
place." He said with his hand raised in a wave as he leaves the room. Levi
pours himself a cup of coffee and sits at the island next to Petra, kissing her
cheek in the process. I flip the pancake I have in the pan as Mikasa finishes
the bacon. She makes it slow, but it always turns out perfectly crispy, but not
overdone.
As Levi sits and drinks his coffee, still holding his pillow, Armin moves from
his chair. "You want coffee?" He asks Petra and she nods. At this point, we all
know how the other takes their coffee. Levi drinks it black, Armin has two
creams and two sugars, Petra likes cinnamon in hers, Mikasa has a little sugar,
and I drink it with one cream. Armin get coffee for all of us despite that he
only asks Petra and when he puts mine down next to me, I pick him up in a hug.
"Aw, what a cute little house wife. Erwin will be so happy." I say as he
squirms.
"Bitch please, you're the one that cuddles in your sleep and makes the
pancakes." He says as he slips out of my arms.
"Erwin loves a guy with fire." Petra says with a wink to Armin and Levi groans.
"Fire? Try a good ass. I mean, he stares at it during drills. Even I'm not that
dense." Levi says and Armin squeaks as he sits back down, nearly knocking over
his coffee.
"That too. That little noise you make is adorable." Mikasa says I Petra and I
laugh at the shade of red his face is.
"You guys are cruel." Armin says as he covers his face and we all "aww" at him,
making him squeal again and Mikasa smirks.
"Well, Erwin will be happy he's a loud one."
"Mikasa!"
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
After a morning of pancakes, cheesily fitting music, and just hanging out, it
was time to go home. Levi wanted to drive me home, so we left at the same time
as Armin and Petra. It's not that far away, actually it's like walking
distance, but Levi wanted to drive me so here we are, pulling into my driveway.
"Are you okay?" He turns to me and asks.
"Yeah," I say, not meeting his eyes but feeling his stare on me.
"Thanks for the ride, Levi." I say as I grab my backpack and sports bag from
the back. Before I can leave, he grabs my arm.
"Just... call me if you need anything." He says with worry and something else I
can't describe in his eyes.
"I will, thanks." I say and leave the car. Said car stays until I unlock the
door to my house and enter hell. 
***** The Tides Turn *****
Chapter Notes
     So, you guys get a very long chapter cause idk what I can do for you
     guys this week. So, I'm starting my changing POV now, so that'll be
     fun, plus I'm moving something pretty fast. I'm adding something into
     this and so I wanted to make Levi's side move along a bit more. Also
     BIG TRIGGER WARNING. LIKE SELF HARM, ABUSE, AND RAPE. That is your
     warning. I'm sorry if that bothers ya'll, but it's pretty important
     to the plot. I made it ally bit more detailed so I don't have to be
     that detailed until a certain part, so it won't always be that bad. I
     also didn't add too much assumed dialogue cause I'm just not gonna
     make it worse than it has to be for this chapter. So, enjoy...?
Eren's POV
 
I walk in to the immediate sound of snoring. Loud, obnoxious snoring. Typical.
I walk carefully, trying not to make any sounds as I make my way to my bedroom.
I turn the doorknob fully before shutting the door again. I silently take of my
shoes and use my socks to slide on the hardwood to the carpeted hallway. As
soon as I make it to the hallway to the stairs, I speed up, which I instantly
regret as I trip. 
I get my footing back then listen for the snoring. It isn't there. Instead,
there's a pissed off Grisha Jaeger stand in the hallway. "Welcome home, son."
He says with a scowl. "Hey there." I say, not meeting his eyes. He strides
towards me and turn to go up the stair, but am brought to the floor instead
after a swift kick to the back of my knees.
He pick me up by the collar of my shirt from yesterday and slams me face first
against the wall. "Listen here you ungrateful bitch, when I tell you to come
home, you come home." He says as he pulls me back and shoves me back again.
"You're so pitiful, you don't even fight back." I should fight back. You can't
win unless you fight. But I already lost. I don't resist as he twists my arm
painfully. He won't break anything. That'll raise suspicion.
"Look at you, you worthless piece of shit. You're nothing." He twists my arm
move and I fall to the floor to prevent breakage. He kicks me one more time
before he spits on me. "It should've been you." He says as he goes to his room,
slamming the door. You're right. It should've been me.
I move to my room and lay on my bed, unable to feel anything. Numb. Just like
her.I don't deserve that. To be protected by the numbness. I put my phone on my
nightstand before I walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower. I sit down
in it and grab the shampoo. I rub it into my hair. I scrub my scalp as the soap
is spread and rinse. There's a hallow feeling in my chest as I reach for my
razor.
I put it on my arm and push in into my skin, letting the bite cause a pain I
can control. Yeah, that's right, I can control it. I lay there as the heat
engulfs me, when suddenly there's a new heat on my face. A salty heat. I'm
crying. Oh. I rub my eyes as I turn off the water. I haven't slept since
Thursday night and Grisha is leaving any minute now. I listen for the familiar
sound of the garage door opening under my room before I move to get out of the
shower.
I wrap my bleeding arm before slipping on a red shirt and black pants. I lay
down and listen to the sweet sound of the door shutting as I hear my phone
buzz. I reach to my night stand and look at the screen to find a text from
Levi.
From Levi- hey, just wanted to see if you're alright.
I shoot a quick "I'm fine," back before I let sleep take me to its dark abyss.
 
Levi's POV
 
I'm not an idiot. "Yeah, I'm fine"? Bullshit. It would take someone blind to
not see the pure fear on Eren's face when everhe goes home. I watch as Eren
slowly closes the door before pulling out of his driveway. It's a quick drive
home, so I keep the same shitty radio station on. We live in a pretty nice
subdivision. It's actually a small island in the lake in out town, so you have
to cross a bridge to come or go. Mikasa, Kenny, and I live about three streets
down.
As soon as I pull into our driveway, I take out the keys and go inside. I open
the door and go to the living room where Mika is folding blankets and watching
one of the many crime shows that she likes. I sit down on the couch and listen
to the sound of gunshots and moving fabric. After awhile, Mikasa lays down and
puts her legs over mine.
"If you keep scowling at the tv, your face will freeze." She says, making my
realize I was glaring at nothing.
"Yeah, you're right." I say with a fake chuckle and lean back.
"Well, that was a pitiful recovery. What messed you up?" She asks as she sits
up, legs sit draped over mine. The nice thing about Mikasa is that I don't have
to worry about her keeping a secret. She keeps quiet as a mouse when she wants
to be, and she's really trustworthy. Maybe I should see what she knows about
this.
"What do you think about Grisha?" I ask and her face goes white. Shit, that
can't be good.
"Don't get involved, Levi. It won't work." She says, tone carrying a pain that
it didn't have before.
"Why not? What's so bad about him?" I ask and Mikasa sighs.
"That's the thing, I never found out. I just had a gut feeling about him." She
says, staring ahead.
"So do I." I say and her head snaps over to me.
"You've met him?" She asks and I nod.
"Yeah, he came by the soccer game and we... said some things." I say and she
facepalms.
"Okay, listen. After Carla died, something happened to Eren. At first, he would
lash out, just always be pissed, then one day he just collapsed during school.
Everything was different after that. It was like he was normal, but there was
no fire in his eyes. You can still see it sometime, but it's fading." She says
with sadness in her voice.
"And that's Grisha's doing?" I ask and she nods.
"Pretty sure." She says and I pull out my phone to shoot him a quick text
checking in.
"What happened to Carla?" I ask and I see a tear go down her face. I pull her
legs to bring her to me for me to hold her. It's not a bad cry, just tears
coming down from her violet eyes.
"We don't know." She starts, voice clear, but breaking. "I think I have a few
ideas though." She says and looks to me with fierce eyes. She's pissed. And not
at me. And that worries me all the more.
 
Eren's POV
 
I sleep through the night before I wake up more tired than before. Picking up
my phone, I check the time. 1:49 pm. Great, the day's halfway over. I set my
alarm on my phone and check my text messages.
 
 
From Historia- Hiii, wanna meet up after soccer 2morrow?
 
From Armin- Hey dude, I need your help.
 
 
From Levi- I really don't believe you.
 
 
Well, none of those are cryptic. No, not at all. I shoot Historia a "sounds
great!" and go to answer Armin.
 
To Ar- Okay, what's up?
 
 
Then I go to answer Levi. My fingers hover over the keyboard as I think of a
response he won't question.
 
To Levi- Just trust me, I'll be fine.
 
Almost immediately after I send the text, Armin answers.
 
From Ar- I think Erwin just asked me out.
To Ar- WHAT?! I NEED DETAILS DUDE!!!
From Ar- Well, I ran into him while I was at the store, so we ended up shopping
together and just talking. At the end, he asked if I wanted to do something
next Saturday.
To Ar- Dude, that's so cute.
From Ar- No homoXD
To Ar- Very homo. Except I have a date tomorrow...
From Ar- Haha, well, I'm gonna need your help on Saturday. Is it safe to say
we're probably going to Mika's house?
To Ar- Yeah, I'd say it is. Shit, what should I wear tomorrow?
From Ar- Your black jeans. You ass looks great in those.
To Ar- I'm a little worried you know this.
From Ar- What, best friend can't check each other's asses out?
To Ar- No.
From Ar- THEN I GUESS WERE NOT BEST FRIENDS.
To Ar- Bullshit, you need me to help you for your date.
From Ar- Shit, I forgot.
 
I laugh at my phone until another text pops up.
 
From Levi- It's not you I don't trust.
 
I get he's trying to help, but this is getting annoying. He doesn't get it. He
doesn't get I deserve this. And I need to get him to stop. So that's why I
write back with a pain in my chest.
 
To Levi- Thank you for caring, but this isn't any of your business.
 
Levi's POV
 
I'm sitting on my bed when I get the text. About five seconds after, I'm not.
Not my business? God, he can be so damn dense sometimes! But, to be honest, is
it? Why does it feel like it is? Why do I feel the need to make sure he's okay?
And why can't I sleep without him next to me? I'm fucking exhausted. I mean, I
know it's cause I trust him, but why?
I walk into Mikasa's room and flop on her bed. "I need your help." I say with
my face muffled in the pillow.
"Sure, what's up?" She says and starts to play with my hair. I lean into her
hand to get her to continue and she laughs.
"So... how did you realize you liked Annie?" I ask and her hand stops.
"How did you..."
"It's obvious and I could tell you figured it out by Friday. She likes you too,
don't worry, not tell me." I say and I hear a choke-like noise.
"W-well, I just realized I was way too worried about her. How she was doing in
volleyball, why she was home sick, stuff like that." She says and look up to
see her smiling as she quietly continues. "Then I just realized the little
think I love about her. Like how she shows emotions in her eyes, her messy
buns, how she isn't afraid to speak her mind..." She trails off and look down
at me. "Why do you ask?" She asks, suddenly suspicious.
"No reason." I say and she looks at me out of the corner of her eye.
"I don't believe you. Talk." She says and I sigh.
"I don't think I like Petra anymore." I say and she laugh. Like. A full on,
belly griping crack up.
"Oh, Levi, you never did." She says and I stare at her in confusion. "In all
honesty, you two were never that into each other. You're great friends, but I
can tell you don't really like her like her." She says and I'm still in my
state of just not understanding. "I'm not stupid, I saw your turning point. It
was the same point you became friends with Eren. You actually have Petra the
time of day romantically after you found out about Historia. Plus the fact you
worry about him constantly, you embarrass yourself every soccer game, and you
can only fall asleep if you're in his arms. If you haven't at least thought
about it, you're an idiot, and I'm pretty sure you're smarter than me, so
that's not it." She says and I gape at her. I just stare with my mouth open
slightly for probably about a good minute or two before I trust myself to say
anything.
"Are you saying I like Eren?" I ask, still needing clarification.
"No, I'm not. I'm saying you're in love with Eren." She says and I turn to
stare at the ceiling. In love? No, it can't be. Can it? I think about all the
times I've been with him. How comfortable I feel with him. The way his hand
feel in mine. The way his eyes match the ocean with depths just the same. How
he looks when he lip syncs to me at our soccer games. That first night, the
first time I could trust anyone in such a long time.
"You're smiling." Mikasa says above me and I look to her to see her shit eating
grin. I put my hand over my mouth and feel the way it turns up at the corners.
"Shit." I say as I get up and leave.
"Levi, it's really not..."
"No Mikasa. I can't do this. Not again." I say as I walk out of her room. I run
down the stairs and grab my keys before running outside to my car. I sit down
and breathe. Not again. Never again. I pull out of the parking lot and take the
long way out of the neighborhood so I don't pass his house. I speed down the
main road to get to the school and park next to the soccer field. I hop the
fence and lay down in the grass, letting myself get lost in my thoughts.
 
Eren's POV
 
I finish washing the dishes just in time to get some homework done. As I go to
grab my backpack from and go upstairs, I hear a door slam. I drop my back and
turn to see Grisha at the door. "Hi. I'm just gonna go..." I trail off as I
start to go upstairs. Just make it up there and your home free. But he meets me
there and stops me with a kick to the back, making me fall forward.
I catch myself on my hands, but fall as I feel a familiar slash no my back. The
searing pain spreads slings my skin as he does it again and again. I'm unable
to do anything but bring my hand to my mouth as he yanks down my pants,
underwear with it. He puts the belt around my hips and there's almost no time
before he starts fucking me dry. My back hunches uncomfortable at the sudden
intrusion as he roughly slams in and out of me. The pulling of dry skin against
my unstretched hole thankfully is helped by the blood coming from me. I sit
there biting my hand until skin breaks as my walls get torn apart, if they're
not already torn to begin with.
When it's finally over, Grisha pulls out and dizzily goes back to the couch to
pass out for the night. I flip onto my back and feel blood drip out of me. I
need to shower. But I can't stand. I use my hand to pull myself up by the
railing of the stairs. I lean on it heavily as I heave myself up the stairs. I
go into my room and lock the door. I walk to my bathroom, knees ready to give
in and collapse.
I turn on the shower and manage to get myself in, immediately grabbing the
soap. I start with my hips as I wash the feeling of grim and filth off of them.
I scrub at them until they are raw, a small bit of pain left behind. Then, I
grab a baby wipe and put my finger in my ass. Two things I'm lucky about is
that I heal extraordinary fast and Grisha always uses a condom, cause I can't
even think about what would happen if he didn't. I clean it enough that I know
the blood will stop soon and sit there for awhile. Here I am, hips almost
bleeding, wrist red, butt actually bleeding, and who knows about my back. I
know that will scar, and it's probably bleeding. I turn off the shower and
crawl out of the shower. I pick up my shirt from before and feel the red liquid
come onto my hand from it. Well, at least it was a red shirt. I go and find
another shirt before crawling into bed, not caring about my sheets at this
point. So much for getting homework done I think with a laugh as sleep takes me
prisoner.
 
Levi's POV
 
"So, Mikasa called." Erwin says as he lays down next to me.
"And she said you freaked out about being in love?" Hanji says as she lays in
the other side of me.
"Why do I have the feeling this is a bigger problem than just Petra?" Erwin
says and I sigh.
"Why do you think, Eyebrows?" I say as put my arms over my face. I get the
feeling they both already know. They seem to just know this stuff.
"So, when are you gonna break up with her?" Hanji asks.
"Tomorrow. It's okay though, she doesn't like me that much anymore." I say.
It's true, I think her interest had been directed at an annoying, pining guy
who fell for her before I knew her.
"So, do you love him?" She asks and groan and turn to her.
"I can't. It's that simple, I can't." I answer. I stand up and start walking
back and forth. I don't love him. I can't be in love. I can't love. Can I?
"Levi, yes you can." Erwin says as he sits up, practically reading my mind.
"Everybody has the capacity for love." He says and I glare at him.
"Sadly, I'm not everybody." I say as I flop back to the ground, feeling the
softness of the grass on my bare arms.
"It's not like anything changed. That's the weird part. Nothing changed. Not
since the first night I got to know him. Does that mean it's been since then?
Cause that was a long time ago." I say and sigh. "Sometimes I see it. Sometimes
I look at him and everything just feels right. It's as though everything is
clear and I suddenly know. But I can't know. Cause it can't be. Right? I mean,
I can't be in love, right?" I ask more as a rhetorical question than serious.
"I always thought you did." Hanji said and I sit up and look at her.
"How? How is it possible I can? I've already been given away. Loving someone is
giving them your all. That's what I always thought. But I have nothing to
offer." I say.
"You really don't see it, do you? You're a great guy, Levi. Do you hear
yourself? You're so selfless that you don't even think you deserve love. What
if Eren went through the same thing you did?" She asks and I answer without
missing a beat.
"I'd still love him." Then I listen to what I said. "Fuck!" I say and fall back
down again, hearing the snickers next to me.
"Hey, maybe we can double date." Erwin says and I groan as I remember something
else.
"Anyway, none of this matters. He has a girlfriend." I say. That right, as long
as he's happy with her, that's all that matters.
"Yeah, I wouldn't count on that." Hanji says as she rubs the back of her neck.
"What do you mean?" Erwin and I both say.
"I think you'll find out soon. It's best if none of us get involved." She says
and I nod to the cryptic request.
"Well, you're both coming to my house cause I'm coming out tomorrow and I need
help." Erwin says and Hanji cheer."Finally!"
***** The Breakups *****
Chapter Notes
     So, I'm alittle mad at myself for making this all in one chapter, but
     I added something major to the plot so I'm just getting the breakups
     out of the way. Sorry about that guys. Btw, if you want a spoiler of
     what that is, I added a tag... Please feel free to comment your
     opinion, but I'm not gonna change it because it's gonna be important.
     So, enjoy this odd little chapter and expect fluff later:)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Eren's POV
 
I wake up with the feeling I have whenever I feel a good day coming on. I swing
my legs to the side of the bed and stand. But I don't stay standing. I fall.
Grabbing the side of the bed, I haul myself up and grab my phone from my
nightstand to see I'm already fifteen minutes behind schedule. I rely on the
furniture to help me as I make my way over to my dresser.
I lean heavily on it as I open a drawer and get a pair before going to grab my
black skinny jeans for my date. I figure I'll just wear what I wear to school
today, so I pull out a green sweater. I make my way to the bathroom somehow and
turn on the shower. I step in and get the shampoo, washing my hair as I think
about the day. I have my date with Historia, practice, I think I have an test
on King Lear today, yup, nothing sounds crazy.
I scrub at my hips, trying to remove the grim I feel but fail to do so as the
blood start to drip out on either side. I turn off the shower and swing my legs
out to move to the sink to get the ointment. I grab it and smear it over the
bleeding points to prevent the bleeding from spreading.
I put on my underwear and pants, ignoring the sting it leaves. I pull on my
sweater, cringing at the feel of it sliding over my back. I brush my teeth
quickly and run the brush through my hair. Wouldn't be able to tame it if I
tried anyway. I somehow manage to make my way downstairs and grab my bag just
as Armim pulls up. I stuff some soccer clothes and socks into my sports bag and
hurry outside, trying not to look as in pain as I feel.
"Hey Ar!" I say as I slide into the seat next to him.
"Hey Eren," he says with a happy smile.
"Someone's perky this morning." I say and he turns to me.
"I had coffee, sue me." He says and starts to pull out.
"Sure, that's why." I say and he elbows me. We go the rest of the way in a
comfortable silence. When we get to the school, I climb out of the car and grab
my bags from the back seat. "Armin, do we have an English test today?" He may
be in honors, but we still have testing on the same days. He nods to me and
shoots me a look.
"Did you forget?" He asks and I laugh.
"Of course I forgot. But it's Shakespeare, so it's easy." I say and he shakes
his head.
"I swear you're the only teenager to ever say that. And that's coming from me."
He says as we begin to walk in.
"I like that kind of stuff. It's fascinating." I say, only half lying. My mom
and I would watch Shakespeare plays and movies when I was little. It became a
second language in a way, although it's technically still modern English. My
favorite was always Much Ado About Nothing, it's like the original romantic
comedy with cynical leads.
"Why are we friends?" He says as he walks ahead of me.
"I would wish not any companion in the world but you!" I yell after him,
attracting a lot of looks and he turns to me.
"Wasn't that a love quote?" He ask with a smirk.
"It works any way you want it." I say and he laughs.
"Come on, Romeo, save the pick up lines for your Juliet." He says and I groan.
"At least try to be original." I say as I trail after him.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
I have free period last hour. I requested it that way so I could get out of
going to the locker room at the same time as everyone else. I've been doing
this since freshman year and never has this been disrupted. Until now.
"Sup, Jaeger." I hear a voice say as I struggle to put my grey shirt on.
"What the hell are you doing here, Jean? Don't you have class right now?" I
ask. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a little pissed that he was here.
Anyone here pisses me off, but Jean can really get to me when he wants to.
"I take yearbook and since we finished the yearbook and it's being sold for the
year, I don't have class. Nicest part of the class, you get months of free
time." He says with a cocky grin as he strips of his shirt.
"So, you have the rest of the year off?" I ask, worried by the information.
"Yep, so, I was wondering if we could work on my goal keeping." He asks with
confidence as I inwardly groan.
"And why would I help you, Horseface?" I say and he sighs.
"Listen, I really like playing goal. I know I'll still be second string, but I
want to be good enough to be noticed by scouts, and you are." He says and I'm
struck silent at the words of praise. He shifts awkwardly under my gaze and his
eyes don't met mine. He means it.
"Okay, but only if you tape my wrists. It's a pain in the ass taping them
myself." I say and he smiles.
"Thanks Eren." He says as I toss my tape and prewrap at him.
"You better do it right." I say and he begins to wrap me.
 
Levi's POV
 
"We need to talk." Petra says and pulls me into the janitor's closet.
"Yeah, I think we do." I say and lean against the wall.
"Listen, you're a great guy, but I think I'm falling for someone else and I
feel terrible about it, but I might as well just say it." She says and I gape
at her.
"Is it possible you just said exactly what I needed to say?" I say and she lets
out a sigh.
"Thank god, I felt terrible about it, but I'm glad we're on the same page." She
says, obviously relieved. She just made this so much easier for both of us by
thinking she messed up. Funny how that works.
"So, Oluo then?" I say as I sit and her head snaps to me.
"How?"
"God, you girls are as oblivious as you are transparent." I say and she sits
next to me.
"So, Eren then?" I say and feel déjà vu as my eyes shoot to her.
"I swear everyone knows." I say and she laughs.
"That cause everybody has at least thought it." She says and I groan.
"It's so stupid!" I say with my hand in my hair.
"It's not, you two are kind of perfect together. It used to drive me crazy, but
now I just find it adorable. You two just go together." She says.
"I just wish he thought that." I say and then turned to her. I'm still unsure
if I can ever love him the way he deserves, but part of me really wants to try.
"What about you and Oluo. What was your big realization." I ask and she
blushes.
"Well, it was gradual. I got to know him below the façade and he's just a good
guy." She says and I put my hand over hers.
"I'm happy for you." I say with a smile and she shoots a grin back.
"I'm happy for you too." She says and I retract my hand.
"So, should we go to the class we're skipping?" She asks and I bark out a
laugh.
"Funny, Petra."
 
Eren's POV
 
"Okay boys! Good practice today!" Pixis says when we're in the team huddle. "We
need to get ready! This Friday is verses the Royals and next week is verses the
Titans. If we keep up the good work, we'll be ready to kick ass and at
regionals. Team on three!" He yells and we scream "one, two, three, team!" back
to him. We all start walking to the locker room before I hear Oluo say
something surprising.
"You really think she likes me?" He says and I hear a lower voice answer.
"I know she does. We broke up for a reason." I turn to look over to see Levi
talking to Oluo.
"You and Petra broke up?" I say and he turns to me.
"Yeah, but it was mutual." He says as if it's not a big deal. I think of this
as I walk into the locker room, but my thoughts are interrupted by a booming
voice.
"Hey everyone! I have something to say!" Erwin says while standing on a bench.
Everyone looks his way due to his authoritative nature. What's going on? I look
next to me to see Levi with a smirk on his face and I have a feeling this is
gonna be good.
"So, I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell you all something. I'm
bisexual. I'm bisexual and I'm crazy about Armin Arlert." He says and steps
down to a very surprised Armin. "I felt the need to do this formally, so Armin,
will you go out with me?" He says and the whole locker room hoots, but Erwin
ignores then in favor of waiting for an answer. I'm worried Armin might be
frozen in shock as he stands there with his mouth hanging open and a very red
face.
"I think he's broken." Levi whispers to me before Armin grabs Erwin's face and
kisses him as his answer and the team roars.
"That's adorable." I say, looking over to Levi who has a crooked grin on his
face.
"The bastard actually did it." He says, but I know he's happy for him. It's
funny to see Armin so bold and comfortable with someone, but I'm mostly just
happy for him as well. He deserves a good guy, and while I don't know how I
feel about Erwin, I know he cares about Armin. Enough to come out, obviously.
I squeeze past the two who are still going at it to grab my sports bag and go
to the bathroom. I change into my clothes from earlier quickly so I can meet up
with Historia. I flush the toilet so no one asks why I change in the stall and
wash my hands when I get out. I go to leave for the parking lot when someone
tap my shoulder.
I turn around to see Levi without a shirt and still in his soccer shorts. He's
practically glowing in sweat, highlighting his toned abs and his shorts fit to
compliment his crotch with his hair push out of his face. Wow. He looks hot.
Wait a second. Get your mind out of the gutter, Jaeger. Wait. How did it even
get in the gutter? I try to keep my eyes on his.
"Do you need a ride home? I think Erwin was planing on taking Armin out if
everything went well." He says and I feel a knot in the pit of my stomach as I
see his eyes trail down.
"I actually have a date, but thanks for the offer." I say before waving to him
and turning on my heel. Before I leave, I hear Connie yell "shut down!" before
a grunt, sounding like he got elbowed. Probably Jean striking out with Marco.
I go to the parking lot to meet up with Historia, only to find she isn't there.
I go inside of the school to look for her and have trouble doing so. It isn't
until I'm near the back of the school that I hear a noise coming from the
janitors closet. Normally I'd pay no mind to it, but I hear a very distinct
voice.
"Oh yes!" She screams from the closet. It's Historia. In the janitor's closet.
Moaning rather loudly. Somehow, my mind can't connect what's happening. Against
my better judgement, I walk in to a sight I don't think I'll ever unsee. Ymir
crouched down with Historia's skirt up and underwear down. Ymir's mouth is in a
place I never excepted it to be, Historia's vagina. They see me and freeze as I
turn around and leave. I start to numbly walk away as Historia grabs my arm,
still pulling her skirt down. "Eren, I'm so sorry..."
"No you're not." I say calmly. I can't find it in me to be mad. I can't find it
in me to feel anything really. All I know is that I should be upset about now.
But I feel nothing. Numb.
I pull my arm away from her and turn back to the parking lot.
She doesn't follow me.
Chapter End Notes
     I love the WinMin moment cause I feel like that's what would happen.
     Erwin would wing it and it's be adorable. (I think that's the ship
     name..?)
***** I Just Don't Know *****
Chapter Notes
     I liked writing this chapter. The sexual tension is reallll. Plus
     it's fluffy. Just so you know, the ship is gonna move slower after
     this chapter. I really don't have much to say. Enjoy:)
Eren's POV
 
I walk out to the parking lot just in time to see Levi leaving. I walk across
to the pavement to him. He looks confused, but before he can say anything, I
drop my bags and wrap my arms around him, and soon a pair of arms return the
favor. "You okay, Bright Eyes?" He ask and I break the embrace.
"Can you give me a ride?" I ask and he looks confused, but nods.
I climb in his truck and sink into the seat as a slow guitar rhythm I've never
heard starts to play, but he quickly changes it. We slowly pull out of the
parking lot and Levi turns away from our neighborhood, but I think nothing of
it while I'm lost in my thought. It isn't until he pull into a Dairy Queen that
I get confused. I look to him for an answer and he shrugs. "You have a date one
minute and the next you don't. Obviously something happened and we're gonna be
middle school girls and eat ice cream about it." He says and I laugh as he gets
out of the car.
 
Levi's POV
 
I don't know what happened, but I can tell it must've sucked since that laugh
was the first show of emotion he's showed so far. I step out of the car and
wait for Eren before walking up to the window. The man behind the counter looks
bored as he asks for our orders.
"Can I get a twist?" He asks as though they'll say no and then the man turns to
me. "I'll have an Oreo milkshake." I say and he punches numbers into the cash
register. After I pay, we decide to walk about since we're right by out
downtown area. You would this is a good idea, but the path to the millpond in
town is infested with couples making out. I see Eren stiffen out of the corner
of my eye as we pass them, but I don't say anything.
We walk until we're above the pond on the bridge. The sun is low in the sky and
the lights reflect off the water as we lean on the rail. I take a sip of my
shake before deciding to talk about the real problem. "So, what happened? If
you don't mind me asking." I say, approaching the topic with caution. He lets
out a loud sigh and starts to speak.
"I gave her three years. Three years of my life. I loved her. I guess I still
love her, but shouldn't I be upset? Shouldn't I at least cry?" He thinks out
loud. He turns to me with those big, blue green eyes, filled with conflicting
emotions. "She cheated on me, Levi. She cheated on me with Ymir. I didn't even
know she was gay!" He says exasperatedly and I feel my eyes widen and my fist
clench.
"Who the hell would cheat on you?" I say and he lets out a dry laugh.
"I guess Historia." He says looking down. I grab his hand not holding his ice
cream and he leans into me.
"The worst part is, it doesn't hurt. It doesn't anything. I literally feel
nothing about it." He says and I feel a weight lift off my chest I didn't know
was there.
"Maybe you didn't love her as much as you thought." I say honestly and he takes
a lick of his ice cream.
"Yeah, maybe." He says.
We stay like this for awhile until the sun fully sets and we know it must
actually be late. When we get to the subdivision and pull into his driveway, I
turn to him. "You can crash as my place if you want. Mika has some soccer
shorts that will fit you." I say and I see him relax slightly. "Yeah, that'd be
nice." He says and I put the car in reverse.
 
Eren's POV
 
Levi and I are good friends, don't get me wrong, but he's never asked me over
himself. I've always gone to see Mikasa and ended up in the basement with him,
but he wanted me over. Something about that made my heart jump. He drives the
quick drive to his house and I grab my bags out of the back of his truck. We
walk inside and I hear a familiar voice call out.
"If you're a robber, I have a gun. If you're Levi, I still have a gun." She
says and I laugh.
"It's Levi, but Eren is here too, so don't shoot." He deadpans and I laugh
again as I walk into the living room.
"Hey Mika," I say as I come into the room and sit next to her.
"What are you doing here?" She asks.
"Wow, great greetings you make." I say and she elbows me.
"I just didn't except to see you. But since you're both here, get the fuck
out." She says and continues to push me with her elbow.
"Gee, you're friendly today." Levi says and be plops down into the big, brown
lazy boy in the corner."Well, Annie is coming over, and we get the couch." She
says and turns to me. "Wait, didn't you have a date?" She asks, suddenly
confused. Well shit, now I'm gonna have to hold her back. I lay down on her lap
before explaining as I play with the hem of her shirt. I feel her practically
vibrate with anger. "That bitch! I'll kill her." She says intensely and I hit
her nose.
"Bad Mikasa, no death threats over infidelity." I say, trying to keep the mood
light since I don't doubt Mikasa was serious.
"Fine. I don't get it though. Why would she choose Ymir over you?" She asks
rhetorically, but I answer anyway.
"Cause they were fooling around in the closet, both literally and
figuratively." I say and both Ackermans let out a laugh.
"God, that's scarring. Like, I'm into girls, don't get me wrong, but to walk in
on someone eating the other out, that's gross." Mikasa says and I laugh before
I hear a knock on the door. "You two, exile, now." Mikasa says and pushes me
off of her.
"Rude." I say, feigning offended.
"Basement?" Levi asks.
"Basement."
 
Levi's POV
 
As soon as we get down to the basement, Eren runs to pick up the guitar. I
laugh at the childish act as I sit next to him lean into the couch, watching
him play. He starts by playing songs, but eventually starts playing random
chords. His fingers movie with ease up the neck of the guitar and he strums
with perfect rhythm. He plays with an ease that's almost like a language.
"You're getting good." I say and he turns to me with a smile, not pausing his
playing.
"Thanks! I've been wanting to learn tabs, but I haven't had the time." He says
with a small smile.
"I can teach you if you want," I say without thinking, but his smile brightens
before I can mentally slap myself for the eager response.
"That'd be great." He says and hands the guitar to me. I take it and play some
tabs to warm up quickly before turning to him.
"The callouses that come from playing tabs are slightly different than with
chords. It'll hurt a little, but they grow quick. Just a small warning." I say
before I think of how to go about this. Teaching tabs is much harder than
teaching chords due to the fact it's the movements that are hard, not the
placements. I think of an idea that sounds a little crazy in my head, but it
might just work. I grab his left hand and place it over the strings, aligning
mine with his. "Just let me guide your hand." I say and he nods, blush creeping
onto his face. I press one finger down and I pluck with my other hand. I move
his hand down the neck, trying not to press to hard as I move his fingers along
the strings. I get him used to the feel of it before moving him to the next
string, slowly moving so he hears the sound of each fret.
I look up at him to find he's not at all paying attention to the strings, but
staring at my face. I feel my face heat up as he quickly looks back down.
Deciding to have a little fun with this sudden shyness of his, I move his hand
to the bottom strings and slowly move it closer to the center. As it gets
closer to my lap, his finger hesitate before moving at the same pace as mine.
By the time they're next to my dick and I look up, he's beet red. He retracts
his hand an coughs awkwardly and I'm suddenly nervous I made him uncomfortable.
"Um, maybe I should try strumming," he says and I smirk.
 
Eren's POV
 
By the time we're done with my "guitar lesson", I've learned little to nothing
and we're both blushing deeply. We turn on the Xbox to find a movie on Netflix
we're fighting over it right now.
"I'm not watching fucking Sound of Music." Levi says as he keeps looking
through.
"But it's a classic! And Julie Andrews is perfect!" I say as I awkwardly flail
on the couch, making Levi laugh.
"Oh god. I'll admit it's good, but in really not in the mood." He says and
stops on High School Musical 3. "How about this?" He says and I start dying of
laughter. It's a long process that includes high pitched sounds, tears, and the
fetal position. When I finally compose myself, I look over at his confused face
and giggle.
"I didn't take you for a musical type. Let alone one as girly as High School
Musical." I say and he roles his eyes.
"I have two words for you. Zac Efron. He's fucking hot." He says and I lean
into him as I go into my second death caused by laughter.
"Oh god, now I get why you and Petra broke up. That sounded about a straight as
a wet noodle." I say and put my head in his lap and look up at him. He looks
down at me with his stormy eyes and smirks.
"Come on. Tell me he isn't hot. Blue eyes, brown hair, great voice, tell me he
isn't incredibly attractive." He says and leans down until our noses our
touching and I'm not sure we're talking about Zac Efron anymore. If his goal is
to frustrate me in every possible way, it's working because half of my wants to
grab his head and smash his lips on mine and half of me wants to shove him for
being so damn smug. I go with option number two.
I push he shoulder until I can move my mouth without possible collision. "I
think the movie's up there." I say and he smirks and turns his head up.
"High School Musical 3 it is."
 
Levi's POV
 
Holy fuck. I almost kissed him. What am I doing? What if he's not into me that
way? That would make this night fucking awkward. But I can't stop thinking
about how his lips would feel against mine. My mind races about this throughout
the movie and I soon realize that Eren is asleep. I move us so we're laying
down together and stop the movie. I'm not lying when I say I watched only cause
of Zac Efron. I'm pretty sure he's everybody's wet dream. Period. End of story.
I'm pulled out of my thoughts by a sudden stirring of the figure next to me. I
look up to see Eren's pained expression as he's still asleep. I shake his
shoulder, but he won't wake up. His scrunches in pain and he lets out a small
whimper as I shake him harder. Maybe my thoughts from earlier are still
clouding my mind, but as he starts to get louder and not wake up no matter how
hard I shake him, I only see one option. I lean down and softly press my lips
to his. That wakes him up.
It's not obvious at first, but I soon realize that he's leaning into the kiss
as I start to move my lips. My eyes close as he tilts his head to deepen the
kiss. It's not intense, but it doesn't lack passion. His hands move to my
shoulder as I lean closer to him, practically laying on him. After a bit, I
pull back and we both open our eyes, and in a moment of realization, we quickly
separate to our own corners of the couch.
"Oh my god, you just kissed me." He says, look rather confused.
"You kissed back," I point out, but inwardly hit myself in the face at the
childish remark.
"I had just woken up," he defends his case.
"I couldn't get you to wake up," I say and he stiffens.
"Wait. Why did you need to wake me up?" He asks, looking more nervous than
skeptical.
"You were whimpering and looked in pain, so I tried to shake you awake." I say
and he brings his hand to his head.
"Shit." He says quietly, but sharply.
"Are you okay?" I asks and he runs his fingers through his hair.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He says, but he doesn't sound fine at all.
"Eren, you know you can trust me, right?" I say and he looks to me.
"It's not that I don't trust you. It's just not something I can't talk about."
He says and I don't push it. He comes closer to me on the couch and grabs my
hand. "Honestly. I'm fine." He says and I think he's convincing himself more
than me. I lace our fingers together and put my head on his shoulder.
"Okay. I trust you." I say and feel the air rush from him at the words, making
me know everything's not okay. He's not okay. He leans his head on mine and my
heart starts flipping as I feel his do the same. Something about this isn't
just a friendly exchange. Something changed.
 
Eren's POV
 
Pretty soon, Levi falls asleep and I'm left to my mind. I start by figuring out
what I know happened. I fell asleep. Levi woke me up. By kissing me. And I
kissed Levi back. I kissed Levi. He kissed me. Oh my god.
I look to the sleeping figure in my arms as he tucks his head under me chin.
Why does he sleep so soundly with me? Why does the thought make me stomach
jump? And why do I want to kiss him again? Do I like him? All these questions
are interrupted by the sound of someone coming downstairs. I close my eyes and
fake sleep.
"Oh wow." I hear Kenny chuckle as Mikasa giggles.
"I know," she says and I bring my head down due to the blush threatening to
spread at being watched.
"Come on, we can't wake them up." Mikasa says and I hear footsteps leave. I
hear a small yawn from beneath me and look down to see Levi waking up.
"Fuck they're loud." He says groggily and pulls me closer as he tries to sleep,
unaware of what this does to me. Or maybe he is and he's just messing with me.
The thought makes my chest hurt and I realize I don't want that to be the case.
I want Levi to like me. Cause I like Levi. Fuck.
***** Clarify *****
Chapter Notes
     This chapter is really just to move along to the next arc which is
     more of a plot. The introductions are pretty much over now. Yay!!!
     Kinda... Anyway, enjoy!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Levi's POV
 
It's nice how normal everything is the next morning. Eren and I wake up, get
ready for school, he gets some of Mikasa's clothes and my big black sweater,
and neither of us mention the kiss. But it takes everything in me not to. My
head is practically screaming at me to do it again. But I know I can't. He has
stuff he needs to deal with before even worrying about if he likes me, which
judging by his reaction to last night, he doesn't. So we sit in the kitchen
eating cereal in silence before Mikasa comes downstairs wearing her red scarf
and a particularly shit-eating grin.
"Oh no." I say as I glare at her and she looks back with an amused look in her
eyes.
"So, how did you guys sleep? Wait..." She says and pulls out her phone. "I
already know." She says as she shows us a picture of us asleep.
Eren has his arms around my waist and I had draped mine around his neck. There
is no space between us. My head is under his chin and his is tucked so his face
is hidden in my hair. I look over to him to see him wide eyed and blushing a
tomato red. Mikasa puts her phone back in her pocket. "I swear to god Mikasa,
if you send that to anyone..."
"Too late." Annie says as she walks in and kisses Mikasa's cheek. Wait.
"When did that happen?" Eren finishes my thoughts.
"A little after that picture happened." Annie says with a smirk.
"Oh, and you might want to check your phones." Mika says and Eren pulls his
out, eyes widening at the texts on his lock screen.
"How many people are in the group chat?" He asks, unlocking his phone.
"Erwin, Hanji, and Armin." Mikasa says with a smirk. I look at my phone and
unlock it to see Hanji had blown up my phone. Not in the main group chat, but
one with her, Erwin, and me.
 
 
From Crazy Hanj: OH MY GOD YOU TWO CUDDLE?!?!
THATS FUCKING ADORABLE!!!
LEVI YOU HAVE SHIT TO TELL ME
WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS?
IM TESTING THE ODDS OF HIM LIKING YOU BACK AND THAT IS A GAME CHANGER.
From Eyebrows: Leave him alone, he's obviously getting busy.
To Group: STOP. 
 
I look to the other group message to see Armin had put the smirking emoji and I
can literally feel his realization through the phone. Shit, that boy is a
blackmail genius. I stare at my phone until I hear a voice next to me. "Crap,
we need to get going." Eren says and takes both our bowls and puts them in the
sink.
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
I don't wanna do this. I don't wanna do this. That's all I can think on my way
to lunch. Jean is talking about how easy physics is for him and I just drown
him out. My mind is lost in thought as we walk to my table. "And then the
teacher reuses the same equation we learned two weeks ago and says it's a new
one..." He blabs as we reach our table and I take a seat at the end next to
Armin. He continues to talk as Ymir and Historia come up.
"Hey Eren," Historia says and I look the other way. Jean stops talking as I
hear Armin sigh next to me. We sit in awkward silence until Marco comes and
removes some of the tension by smiling brightly.
"Hey guys, what's up?" He say, unaware of the tense quiet that was here before.
"Hi babe." Jean says as he slings an arm around his boyfriend and kisses his
cheek. I look behind me to the table where Erwin sat on Friday and see Levi
animatedly talking and then putting his head in his hands with a growl as Hanji
laughs. He looks angry and confused, leaving me confused as well. I turn back
to my sandwich and eat in silence until I hear Jean sigh.
"Okay, what happened between you two? And you two?" He says and points to
Historia and me, sitting with Armin between us, and Historia and Ymir, the
latter with her arm around the former. They uncomfortably look at each other as
I answer.
"Well turns out Historia has been sleeping with Ymir." I say and Marco and
Jean's eyes widen as Armin drops his spoon.
"What?" Armin asks, venom in his voice as he turns to Historia.
"Hey, it's not her fault that Eren couldn't pop one for her." Ymir says and
everyone is quiet until I stand up.
"Excuse me, bitch? I'm so sorry my sexuality bothers you oh so much. It's funny
though. I warned you about it before we even dated, Historia." I continue,
feeling the anger finally build in me while turning to her. "I had no idea you
were even gay until I found you getting eaten out in the closet!" I yell,
ignoring the stares I'm attracting.
"I'm sorry... I know I shouldn't have done that but..." Historia tries but I
cut her off.
"Sorry? Tch, fuck that. You're not sorry. You wouldn't have done it if you were
sorry." I say and she lowers her head.
"We were just growing apart, and I'm sorry but I have needs too." She says loud
enough for me to hear her and I gape at her.
"I'm sorry, you have needs? Oh my god. Fuck you." I say, not caring how harsh I
sound anymore.
"Don't say that to her, you asshole! She's trying to apologize!" Ymir stands
and screams back.
"She's not sorry! She's sorry she got caught. In fact, I'm not even sure she's
sorry about that! I know I deserve a lot of shit, but I deserve to at least be
broken up with before you fuck someone else!" I say and close my eyes to calm
my breathing. "I am done with this shit." I say and leave my stuff as I leave
the lunch room, several gazes following me.
I go to my locker and sit down in front of it, head in my hands. I sit there in
though until a small body sits down next to me. "Some speech in there." Armin
says quietly with a dry chuckle.
"Sorry I didn't tell you last night. I didn't want to ruin your date." I say
and he nods.
"It's fine. If that picture is anything to go by, you were busy too." He says
and I bury my head into my hands again.
"No I wasn't." I says and Armin grabs my ear.
"Oh my gosh! Your earlobe is red! You're lying! What happened?" He pries and I
groan.
"Well, if I'm being honest, I'm not entirely sure." I say and Armin's smile
grow.
"Oh my god. Do you like Levi?" He asks and grabs my arm, practically bouncing.
"No. Yes. I'm not sure. Everything was just so confusing last night. One minute
he tries to teach me how to play tabs and the next my hand is practically
touching his dick." I say and Armin squeaks.
"How far did you go with him?" Armin asks and I groan.
"Not like that. The guitar was in his lap and the closer my hand got up the
neck, the closer it got to his dick. But that's not the weirdest part." I say,
recalling the night before.
"Really? Because that's pretty straight forward, especially for Levi." Armin
says and I nod.
"This was different. I think he hit on me and almost kissed me." I say and turn
to see his eyes widen.
"Holy shit. Wait, almost? What happened?" He prods.
"I pushed him back. But he... um... kissed-me-after-and-it-was-really-great-
and-I-kind-of-want-to-do-it-again." I say quickly and Armin gasps.
"You guys kissed? Why? How long? Was it good?" He questions and I feel my face
start to burn.
"I had a nightmare and he said he couldn't wake me up, so he kissed me. It
was... really good. He was so gentle and his lips were so soft..." I trail off
thinking about it.
"That's adorable." Armin says and I jump, being taken out of my thoughts.
"But I think he regrets it." I say quietly as I remember the night before.
"What makes you say that?" A new voice says and I blush when I look up to see
Erwin.
"Shit. How much did you hear?" I say and he shrugs.
"Pretty much everything about the kiss. You see, Levi doesn't tell me jack so I
needed to find out somehow." He says and sits next to Armin.
"No wonder you two like each other. You're equally devious." I say and they
laugh.
"Seriously though, why do you think Levi regretted it?" Erwin asked, voice
serious, yet sympathetic.
"Well, he was just so shocked after, like he didn't know why he did it. I don't
know... I guess I just wish he felt what I did. He was just waking me up, but
it felt like so much more." I say and then look up. "I swear to god if you tell
him about this I will cut off your dick and give it to Armin as a dildo." I say
and Armin's eyes widen as he blushes profusely.
"Yeah yeah, I won't." Erwin says.
"So, back up here. What exactly happened with Historia?" Armin asks and I
groan.
"We had a date planned and she wasn't by her car so I went looking for her,
thinking that maybe she got preoccupied. And she was, considering Ymir had her
head between her legs and she was moaning like a whore." I say and they gasp.
"Holy shit. That explains what happened back there." Erwin says.
"Yeah, I walked in on it." I say and Armin grabs my arm.
"Maybe it's for the best." He says.
"Yeah, maybe it is."
 
===============================================================================
 
"Your form is wrong. You're falling too much on your hip. If you keep that up,
you'll break it." I critique Jean outside. We have a game in a couple of days
and I want him to play as goal for awhile so I can play mid. It would work for
both of us if he would just get his damn dive.
"Okay, so like this?" He does to dive again and his elbow takes the impact.
"You tell me. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much did that hurt?" I say and he
glares at me.
"Yeah, point taken, whatever." He says and stands up.
"Watch me do it. Watch where I fall." I say and I lay out, landing as flat as I
can.
"I can't do that though!" He says and I walk up to him and put a hand on his
shoulder.
"Jean, you are the most hotheaded person I know. You're obnoxious and your
temper is worse than mine." He looks like he's gonna kill me until I add on.
"But, you're also very determined and I know you can do this." I say and his
gaze softens. "I'm gonna go get a ball and we can work on your high catching
for now and finish this tomorrow. Okay?" I say as I walk to go get a ball from
the ball bag.
"Okay." He says and goes back to the net.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
For the rest of the week after that, everything was calm. I avoided Historia
and Ymir, hung out with Armin, Mikasa, and surprisingly Erwin, talked to Levi
while trying to figure out my feelings for him, and went home to face dad and
survived. Everything was normal enough, but that always seems to happen before
things go to shit.
Chapter End Notes
     I think that's enough of a warning...
***** And Then it Went Dark *****
Chapter Notes
     He he he. You're all gonna kill me. I can feel it... So thank you
     guys for he feedback! I'm bad with this stuff, but I wanted to thank
     ya'll for the 1k hits! I love when you guys comment and I read all of
     them so feel free to comment! So... fluff then angst. Short and to
     the point. That is the chapter. Do with it what you will. Minus
     killing me. I'd like to live long enough to finish thisXD So.....
     enjoy...
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Eren's POV
 
It's Friday, the day of our game verses the Royals and my free period is about
to start. Jean texted me saying he was busy today, so there's no lesson today.
 
From Horseface: I can't make it for free period today. Gotta get shit done.
Have fun;)
 
It was a bit cryptic, but I payed no mind to it. I go to my locker and a sticky
note falls out as I open it. I pick it up and smile at the words.
 
We need to have a jam session. This has been a shit day. Music room at 2.
-Levi
 
As much as I feel bad about his bad day, I'm happier about the meeting. I look
at the clock to see it's 1:55 so I grab my stuff quickly and shove it in my
backpack and speed walk to the music room. I walk in and I'm surprised to see
Levi sitting behind the piano. He's eyes are sunken in more than normal and
rimmed with red and it makes my heart ache. I decide to not bring that up until
he does himself. "Since when do you play?" I said as I walk over to sit next to
him.
"I don't play much, I look up YouTube videos when I skip class and come here.
It's not used much during hours." He says and starts to put his fingers down.
He plays a random chord and it sounds like he knows what he's doing.
"What got you into music? It seems to mean a lot to you." I ask and his hand
stops.
"That actually has a lot to do with my day. It was today, three years ago, my
brother and sister died." He says and my head snaps to him.
"You had siblings?" I asked, surprised by the sudden information on his past.
He chuckles dryly at the shock that must be in my voice.
"Yeah. Well, actually, no. They weren't by blood, but it was as if they were."
He says as he continues to play unknowingly.
"You don't have to tell me." I say and he leans his head on me.
"Thanks, Bright Eyes." He says and I put my arm around him. We stay like this
for awhile as he plays a bunch of different songs. The Only Exception, She Will
Be Loved, You and Me, Chasing Cars, and more. I start to wonder if he realizes
he's only playing love songs as he starts to sing along to slightly to Thinking
Out Loud.
 
 
And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how
People fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Well, me—I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am
 
He looks up at me as he starts to sing the chorus. I get lost in the blue of
his rainstorm eyes as he absentmindedly sings.
 
When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don't remember my name
When my hands don't play the strings the same way
I know you will still love me the same
'Cause honey your soul could never grow old, it's evergreen
And, baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory
I'm thinking 'bout how
People fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it's all part of a plan
Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you'll understand
But, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
Thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are
 
He stops in and starts leaning over to me. I don't realize I'm leaning in too
until out noses are practically touching. "Do you know how beautiful your eyes
are?" Levi says and I look down in embarrassment. His hand is suddenly on my
cheek and I look up to his stormy eyes. My stomach does flips as his thumb
strokes my cheekbone and slowly makes its way to my neck. His lips graze mine
as he pulls me closer and....
"Guys! Pixis is late and... are we interrupting?" Armin says from the door with
Erwin as Levi and I quickly separate.
"No. Of course not." Levi says as he sends a glare over to Armin, who flinches.
Levi looks to me and sighs. "Time for the game," he says as he gets up and
leave and I stay sitting.
"What just happened?" Erwin asks and then flinches, like Armin, at the glare I
send him.
 
===============================================================================
 
 
"They're skilled, but overly confident. Their defense is lacking but their
offense is good. They don't move the ball much since due to their egos and lack
of sportsmanship. Defense will have to play tight on strong side and be ready
for a drive. Power kicks will be the way to score. And be careful, they aim to
injure." I say to the team. They already hit Marco's right knee, making him
have to sit for right now. It's a big game for us, scouts are here for Legion,
a state college team, and everybody is trying to play their top game. I reach
my hand to the middle of our huddle and we chant before going back to the
field. We have a throw in and Jean throws it to Oluo, who misses and the other
team comes and drives it.
It seems like everything just froze. Including me. I stand there as the ball
comes at me, ready for me to catch, but it goes through. As it slips through my
fingers, I feel the ball against my neck. But it doesn't stop there. It hits
something in my throat and I fall backwards with it. "Eren!" I look up to see
the team running towards me as Hannes blows his whistle, pausing the game, but
the Royals have a reputation of playing dirty, and they live up to the title.
Someone kicks the ball into my neck and it bounces into the net. I feel the
pain spread through my neck as I sit up. I stay kneeling and hunched forward as
I try to breathe. But I can't.
I start to panic before I hear a voice from next to me. "You fucker." Levi says
with deadly calmness as he walks up to the guy who kicked. He leans to look
down at Levi with a smug look before Levi punches him square in the face. The
ref frantically blows his whistle as the guy goes to punch Levi, but is knocked
down by a swift kick, knocking his legs out from under him. His teammates come
and hold him back as Levi runs over to me. "Are you okay?" He asks and I open
my mouth to respond. But nothing comes out. I keep trying but just feel my head
get light.
"Eren? What's going on?" Armin says next to him and again I try to answer but I
stay silent as excruciating pain spreads through my throat as I try to force it
out. I look up in horror to Armin and see the realization in his eyes. "We need
to get you to the hospital. Now." He says and I panic. I faintly see Mikasa run
up to me as my vision starts to blur. I feel a strong pair of arms pick me up
before everything goes dark.
 
Levi's POV
 
We were told Eren was to be in here for several day when they checked him in
due to the assumed diagnosis. I sent Mikasa and Armin home to sleep since it
was going on two in the morning. I sit next to him until I'm forced out by a
nurse and so I go to get coffee. The women at the desk has pity in her eyes as
I order a large black coffee. In fact, there's pity in the eyes of everyone
walking by me. I'm getting sick of it already.
I wander the hallway aimlessly, refusing to sit in the waiting room. You go to
waiting rooms to wait for a miracle and leave with the opposite. I prefer to
walk, thank you.
I walk by the gift shop that's closed at this time of night and look at the
flowers through the gate. Their are flower with all meanings: love, sorrow,
peace, death, all the things that make hospitals unbearable. I know Eren won't
die, but I'm worried about him. He took a hard hit to the neck and that can
cause a lot of damage. I shake my head and force the thoughts out of my head. I
take a sip of my coffee and walk again.
I slowly make my way back to Eren's room to find the door shut and a banging
noise. I barge in to see Grisha pull away from him. I walk up to him and grab
the front of his shirt and pull him to my level. "I'm on to you, asshole. I've
dealt with worse than you before." I say and a sickening grin spreads on his
face. "You might not want to threaten me. Do you want to me call security,
Rivaille?" He says and my jaw clenches. Well shit.I reluctantly let go of his
shirt and he leaves the room, leaving me with Eren and the bruise forming
around his throat.
Chapter End Notes
     So...................
***** Hospital *****
Chapter Notes
     So I know I'm writing a lot, but it's because I had a long weekend
     and I felt like it. I don't know how well I can keep it up, so I'm
     just gonna post when I can, which will be fairly often. Also, I love
     your guy's comments! They make me so happy:) Okay, so this chapter is
     explaining a lot and sets the tone for some things, so I hope you
     enjoy it:)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Levi's POV
 
Armin and Mikasa come back the next day. The doctor already told us the
diagnosis. Bilateral Vocal Cord Paralysis. The odds of him getting that? Slim.
The odds it could be caused by a soccer ball? Little to none. I walk around,
trying to get my thoughts together.
Eren is in surgery. a surgery that means he'll never talk again. I don't tell
Armin or Mikasa about Grisha, they're already crying for their childhood
friend. One question going through my head is driving me insane: How does that
bastard know my underground name? I haven't used it in years and nobody knows
it but three people. I think of Eren. Eren not being able to talk again. That
thought alone has me fighting back tears.
I have to pull back even harder as they bring Eren in the room. Mikasa starts
crying again at the sight. He's hooked up to an IV, cannula in his nose that
wrap around him and lead to an oxygen tank, stitches on his throat, eyes
closed. Something more noticeable now that his arms are above the blanket is
the number of cuts going up his arms. I couldn't count them all if I tried, the
amount looks endless. It looks like a sleeve and I wish I could pull them off,
make the pain not be there. But it is. And I think it's going to get worse.
"The surgery was successful. He's already making progress, so it'll be about
three days until he's discharged, assuming no complications." Dr. Grey, Eren's
doctor, says to us. I nod to her and Armin stands.
"Thank you, Doctor. I know that you're not supposed to tell us this stuff, so
thanks." Armin says and the Doctor relaxes.
"It's best you guys know. When he wakes up, he's gonna be confused, so you guys
can tell him or get me. This is going to be a long struggle for him, he'll
really need you guys there for him." She says and Armin nods. She leaves the
room and we're all left to out thoughts.
 
Eren's POV
 
I wake up to see Armin and Mikasa asleep in the chairs next to my bed. Where am
I? I look up to see Levi leaning on a white wall, looking off to the side. I
look around to see the heart monitor and IV bag that leads to my arm and know
where I am. Something is wrapped around me head, but I pay no mind to it due to
what I feel on my neck. I lift my free arm to it to see what it is. String. In
my skin. I hear the beeping get quicker.
"Eren. Eren, calm down." Levi says as he crosses the room and sits next to me.
I try to take a deep breath, but it hurts to do so. "Why am I here?" Is what I
would've asked if anything came out. Suddenly, everything from the game floods
back to me and the heart monitor speeds up faster. Levi grabs my hand from the
sting on my neck as Mikasa and Armin wake up at the change in noise.
"Everything is fine, Eren." Armin says and Levi shakes his head.
"Don't lie to him. I think he knows something is wrong." He says and hands me a
pad of paper and a pencil. I quickly jot down a note before handing it to Levi.
"Tell me what's going on," is written on it and he looks away.
"I'll let the doctor do that. I'll go get her." He says and gets up to leave.
Once the door is shut, I turn to Mikasa to see her crying.
"Are you okay?" I write and she nods. "I'll be fine." She says quietly and I
grab her arm and pull her closer. I kiss her head as she cries and I see Armin
start to as well, joining in the hug. Well, this isn't a good sign. We stay
like this until the doctor and Levi walk in. "Hi Eren, my name is Dr. Grey, I
work with your father." Shit. My dad is gonna be pissed about this. The beeping
speeds up again. "He's coming to work later today, said he'll come here then.
I'm just gonna tell you what's going on since your friends here already know.
We had to do a tracheotomy on your vocal cords. When the ball hit you, both
your vocal cords were put into Paralysis. The surgery was to create an airway
and a way to be able for you to eat orally. I'm sorry, Eren, but you won't be
able to speak." She says and I just stare at her. Won't be able to speak. I let
the words sink in as she waits for a response. "Are you okay?" She asks and I
nod numbly. Really? Am I okay? No, I'm not okay. I'm not going to be able to
speak. Ever. It takes a second for my body to catch up with my mind and I feel
a tear coming down my face.
Levi grabs my hand again as I hear a pair of sniffles next to me. "I'll give
you guys some time, then we can talk about treatment." The doctor says as she
goes to leave. I lean forward and start to cry a silent cry. I've never been a
significantly loud cryer, but it feels different now. It's literally not
possible for me to make noise. That thought sets me off as I start to bawl,
bringing my legs to my chest. I feel a pair of arms around me and look up to
see Levi holding me.
"It'll be okay." He restates what Armin said, only with a tense change that
entirely changes the meaning. He knows it's not okay. He knows I'm not okay.
And it's okay not to be okay. So I continue to weep as two more pairs of arms
join Levi's.
 
Levi's POV
 
They say it's shock. They say this is normal. Ever since Eren stopped crying,
he's been staring blankly, drawn into himself. He won't even hold the pen, he
just drops it when I put it in his hand. The only way I'd know anything is
wrong is when he holds my hand. He squeezes it like a vice, still not looking
at me. He's terrified.
His eyes are green and hidden, face emotionless. The haze over them lets me
know that his mind is nowhere near here. I look at his arms through the gown to
see the cuts going up the sleeves. They go up to his shoulders and are close
together, showing his years and years of misery. I rub my thumb on them,
tracing them as I try not to cry.
Mikasa and Armin are still sitting there, Mikasa bawling while Armin holds her.
There's a thought biting at the back of my mind that I finally think of as his
gaze drifts to our hands, eyes still glazed over. He just lost his only method
of communication. That's enough to set anyone off. If his arms are anything to
go by, he's already depressed, but good at hiding it. So, I guess the real
question isn't if this will make him depressed, but will it send him to a
breaking point? All I know is he's about to fall apart. I just hope it's not
too many pieces.
 
Eren's POV
 
The next few days are the same. I don't move much. They force feed me liquified
food, I pee when I need to, I sleep when the pain pill knocks me out, only to
wake up in a jolt, and I stare blankly, lost in my thoughts. Levi doesn't leave
my side the entire time, although others come and go. It's not a bad thing,
they have their own lives, but it is nice to have Levi with me.
He doesn't sleep and it's starting to worry me, but I can't bring myself to
tell him to sleep. I can't bring myself to do anything. I just lay here.
Tonight is my last night here. I really don't want to go home. I don't think I
can deal with all of this and him. Grisha has come in twice and each time Levi
stood between us, holding my hand. I don't really understand it, but I can tell
he has a strong hatred towards my father. Whenever Grisha finally leaves, he
sits with a sigh, not letting go of my hand.
Tonight, Levi started playing music on his phone for us to hear. I lay
listening, letting the music distract me. I can tell he's trying to keep it
together, trying to stay strong. It breaks my heart to see that I managed to
break his. It's hurts to see a friend like this, I know it does. He's been so
nice this whole time, but it's sad to say I lost my chance with him. No one
wants a mute.
I pull the hand that's holding his closer and he looks up to me, obviously
surprised to see me moving. I keep pulling to the point it's probably
uncomfortable and he gets up and comes over. I scoot over to make him more room
and he lays down facing me. He leans his forehead against my forehead and is
eyes meet mine. "Hey," he whispers. I smile as a greeting, not sure what else
to do. I pull my arms, now IV free, around his neck and pull him close and he
does the same with my waist. It's not romantic and it's not seductive, but I
can help that my heart is beating like a drum. His eyes fade into a blue I
haven't seen since I've been here and I know he's gonna be okay. We lay like
this, him not breaking the silence and me not wanting to do anything, until we
fall asleep.
Chapter End Notes
     Yeah... It's alittle sad.
***** Gone *****
Chapter Notes
     So, for starters, thank you guys so much for all the support! Last
     time I checked, I was near 2k hits, so thank you! Also, there were
     some comments on the last chapter where people seemed confused, so
     please comment any questions and I will answer them if they're not
     spoilers. Also, just comment for the hell of it. They honestly make
     me so happy, so thank ya'll:) So yeah... this chapter is sad and also
     kinda short. Triggers of self hate. All that fun stuff. Yup. I'm
     really at a lose of how to describe this chapter. And I do have to
     warn you, it gets worse before it gets better. So, enjoy... I
     guess... I'm sorry:/
Levi's POV
 
I woke up the next morning to the sound of sniffles and a wet chest. I look
down to see Eren crying against me and I pull him tighter. Talking will do
nothing right now, so I just hold him as he cries. I rub circles into his back,
bare through his gown. His breathing through his nose is heavy and his shoulder
shutter and I just wish I could help. He lifts his head to mine and sends me a
weak smile as he calms down. I lean backwards to grab the notebook and turn
back to see Eren shaking his head. That is, until I write.
"Maybe it'll help if I write to." I hand it to him and he smiles, genuinely
this time.
"Yeah, I like that idea." He says and looks up to me.
"Nightmare?" I write and his eyes trail down again.
"Yeah. It was about my mom."
"Yikes. I'm sorry."
"It's fine, they're fairly common, but this one sucked."
"You mind if I ask why?" He frowns deeply and looks down.
"I couldn't talk to her."
I look to him to see his eyes filled with tears again. "Oh, Eren." I say out
loud and pull him closer. He closes his eyes as the streams come down from his
eyes. I hold him close until he relaxes into my arms. After awhile, his eyes
glaze over and I know his mind is gone. I lay for awhile until Armin comes into
the room and smiles at us, even though I'm the only one facing the door.
He's visited everyday, sometimes skipping classes and sometimes after soccer.
Pixis said it was okay that I skip as long as I come when Eren is out. Today is
Wednesday so I'll probably just make practice after he's discharged. Hanji
brought me some homework, but I'm a second semester senior so there isn't much
to do, so I've been okay skipping.
Armin walks over to us and sits in his usual chair. "Hey guys." He says as he
approaches us.
"Hey Mushroom," I say and he rolls his eyes.
"How is he?" Armin says, knowing Eren won't answer and might not hear.
"Eh," I say as I try to let Eren go so I can stand, but he doesn't let go of
me. I stay there, but hand the notepad to Armin, knowing it's okay to show him,
if anyone.
His face brightens when he sees Eren's writing, but darkens again as he reads
the words. He looks over at the boy in my arms with a sad smile. "Well, it's
progress I guess." He says, obviously not sure what else to say. I look to Eren
with sadness in my heart.
Armin flips to a new page and begins writing, then shows it to me. "How are you
holding up?" He asks and I chuckle. He sends me a parental-like glare and I
signal for the pen. "I'm not the one to worry about." I write, but it's obvious
that answer doesn't go over well. Getting up, he pats Eren's shoulder and leans
down to talk in a soft voice. "Hey Eren, I need to talk to Levi. Can you let
him go?" He asks gently and Eren lets go, eyes still glazed and staring at
nothing. I slide out and pat his head before leaving the room, following Armin.
Sitting in a chair in the waiting room, he sighs and looks up at me. "Seriously
Levi, we're worried about you. I know how much this must hurt." He says and I
sit next to him.
"I promise I'm fine," I say and he slaps the back of my head.
"Hey, what was that for?" I ask angrily and he rolls his eyes.
"That's for lying. You may be able to fool everybody else, but I can see past
your mask. You love him and it's painfully obvious. And I'm not saying I don't
approve, cause you two are cute and you obviously care about him, but a
relationship is bad for him right now." He says and I nod.
"That honestly isn't a problem, he doesn't like me." I say and Armin rolls his
eyes again. Damn, Mushroom is sassy today.
"If you say so. But anyway, thank you. It's nice to know that there's someone
else that cares as much about him." He says genuinely.
"It's nothing. I'm just worried about him." I say.
"Me too. I've never seen him so down." He says and I nod, looking over to him.
"Do you think I can get into the security tapes for the hospital?" I ask and
him eyes widen.
"Um, not without a lawyer or a warrant. Why? Should I be worried?" He asks and
I shake my head.
"No, everything's fine." I lie with a smile. He looks incredulously at me and
nods.
"Whatever you say..." He says and gets up to go back to Eren's room.
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
I got discharged that afternoon. I didn't want to go home, so I wanted to go to
soccer. The doctor said I could, but I couldn't practice and I have to make
sure nothing hits me. I can't exercise for at least 6 weeks, so here I am,
sitting on the bench next to Pixis at the field. He's asking me questions and
I'm answering the 'yes' or 'no' ones. I don't think he realized I can't talk
yet because he seems unfazed, unlike the rest of the team. They're all
tiptoeing around me as Pixis asks questions that are starting to make me
uncomfortable.
"Was your doctor a sexy lady doctor?" He asks and I can't help but feel
offended for her for the sexist statement, but I guess she was pretty, so I nod
and he laughs. "Did she give you any special treatment?" He asks and I just
cringe, making him laugh more.
"Okay, well I'm gonna get the boys to scrimmage. You help me find their weak
points. You know, work your magic on your own team. How does that sound?" He
says and I mouth an "um" to him as he turns away. I start to worry how to
"tell" him I can't talk until he hands me his whiteboard. "Write down anything
I have to whoop their asses for." He says with a wink and goes to yell at the
team.
Relieved, I sit down on the bench and make two columns: first string and second
string. I start decorating the sides of it until a rather heavy plop happens
next to me. I look up to see Jean with a rather constipated look on his face.
Marco joins him more gracefully with water for both of them and a weary look on
his face as well. They both visited me in the hospital, but I didn't really
react much to anything they had to say.
"Hey Eren," Marco starts gently and I wave to him with a small smile that I
hope for his sake is convincing.
"We just wanted to say sorry about everything." Jean says, his eyes not meeting
mine and I'm confused. I flip the white board and jot a quick note.
"Why are you sorry? It's not you're fault." It says and he shrugs.
"Still..." His voice trails off and I roll my eyes.
"Thanks, but I don't want your pity." I write and Jean's eyes widen slightly
and Marco smiles weakly.
"We know. He's just trying to help." He says and I look to them. Shit, I didn't
mean to be so harsh.
"I'm sorry." I write and they start talking again but my mind is elsewhere. I
can't keep hurting people with this. I think back to the note Armin and Levi
wrote. After they left, I read it. I know when Levi is avoiding a question. I
hurt him too. I make Armin and Mikasa cry. I can't keep this up. I underline my
previous note and walk to Armin's car.
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
I watch as he leaves practice with a lost look on his face. I don't even think
he realized he left in the middle of Marco's sentence. I walk up to them as
Jean picks up the clipboard.
"What happened?" I ask as Marco looks down at his water bottle.
"I think you can get the gist of it from this." Jean says as he hand me the
clipboard. I read it over and sigh at the underlined "I'm_sorry.".
"He's really hurting, isn't he?" Marco asks and I nod, not seeing a point in
lying. He looks to me in understanding and Jean face twists in a weird mix of
sadness and rage.
"He was always bullheaded, annoyingly determined. What broke?" He says and
looks up to me, but I can't bring my eyes to meet his as I answer.
"I think he broke."
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
Armin drops me off at home and I stand outside for a good ten minutes trying to
build up the nerve to go inside. I know he's home, the car is here, but I can't
bring myself to move. I hear Armin honk his horn behind me and realize he's
waiting for me to go inside before he leaves.
I open the door and shut it quietly, taking off my shoes as I wait for an
impending punishment for everything. I get it as I turn around to a punch in
the eye. I cup my throbbing eye as Grisha knees me in the balls. Okay, ow. I
fall to the ground and he kicks my stomach.
"You little shit! You really are just a pain in my ass. Look, now you can't
even talk to me. How pathetic." He says as he kicks my face. He's obviously too
drunk to try and be discreet at this point as he steps on my hand. How the hell
am I supposed to cover that, gloves? Maybe it's pointless, I think as he kicks
my side one last time before spitting on me.
"Carla deserved better than you." He says before going to the couch and
flopping. I lay there in thought, not having enough effort to get up. I lift my
hand to my throbbing eye to find it wet with tears, unsurprisingly. Only, I'm
not crying because of the pain.
I'm crying because he's right.
***** Bastard *****
Chapter Notes
     Hey ya'll. I officially hit 2k hits, so thank you so much!!! I was
     gonna make it shorter, but then I got out of my writing funk and the
     rest of the chapter happened. So, self ham trigger. Sorry about that.
     Here you go! Enjoy!
Eren's POV
 
 
I wake up the next morning still on the floor. I go to move, but a pain in my
side prevents it. Can't I just stay here? I feel a vibrate under my butt.
Armin- Dude, we're gonna be late
Seriously, hurry up.
It's your first day back.
Do I need to come in there and drag you out?
Shit. I force myself to move against my will. Just because I don't want to go
doesn't mean I should ruin Armin's attendance record. I get upstairs and put on
a light blue sweater and grey jeans, adding a pair of grey converse.
I run to the bathroom and observe my eye. It's puffy and purple, some parts
bright blue, still getting worse. I quickly put on coverup and put it in my
pocket, knowing I'll need it later.
I grab an empty notepad and pen from my dad's office before picking my backpack
up at the door and practically running out. I jot down a quick "sorry" as I run
and hand it to Armin once I get in the car. I notice I still have some makeup
on my hand, so I rub it into the heel print before looking up to him.
He smiles to me and rolls his eyes. "Typical," he says as he pulls out,
obviously not mad. On the way there I write a quick excuse to Armin's teacher
and we run inside as soon as we pull in, five minutes late to class.
I take Armin to his class and he his teachers disappointment turn to confusion
as she sees Armin at the door. "Armin, you're never late, what..." She stops as
she sees me at the door. I walk up to her and hand her the note.
"Armin was helping me research a sign language book. We lost track of time. It
was my fault, I'm sorry." I say, not caring about the lie.
Ms. Rosen is a very eccentric science teacher here. Nice, but overzealous. I
figure I need to find a book soon anyways, I guess and she probably already
knows about my little issue since I have her sixth hour for chemistry while
Armin takes AP physics. Ironic for the women who's body parts defy gravity.
Armin takes a senior science, which I become painfully aware of when I look at
the kids in their seats to see Erwin giving me a sympathetic look in the second
row next to Levi who is staring at my new black eye. I turn it away from him.
"Oh Eren, I'm so sorry!" She says and awkwardly hugs me. I kinda of just stand
there being pokes by her boobs until she lets go.
"I'll write you a pass. Who's your first hour?" She asks and I write down my
Algebra teacher's name. Waving to Armin, I take the pass and leave. Do I really
need to go to Algebra? I walk to class only to walk into an awkward silence.
Oh, this is gonna get annoying real fast.
"Oh, hey Jaeger." Shadis says in an uncharacteristically soft voice that for
some reason, only pisses me off. I put the slip on his desk and take my seat
next to Marco. I scribble on the notepad and rip a piece and put it on his
desk.
"Sorry about yesterday. That was a jerk move." I say and he smiles warmly.
"It's okay." He whispers. I turn to the front of the room and pretend to listen
to a rant about Trigonometry.
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
I sit in my physics class bored out of my mind. Our teacher sucks so badly and
she doesn't know what she's doing. I look over to Erwin to see him discreetly
trying to pass me a note. I grab it, not caring about stealth and he glares at
me.
"What was the point of trying if you're not gonna play along?" He whisper-
scolds.
"I'm not gonna play along so there is no point." I whisper back as I open the
thoroughly folded letter and he pouts.
"So, I want to have sex with Armin but I don't know how to bring it up." It
says and I nearly gag.
"I didn't need to know that. Just ask him if he's ready." I say and hand it
back. He frowns at the paper and jots down a quick note.
"The sex itself isn't a problem. I don't know how to go about the whole 'who's
bottom' thing." It says.
"Dude, I think he'll be just fine bottoming." I wrote back and am surprised at
the response I get.
"That's the problem. I kinda want him to top." He wrote and I burst out
laughing. I let out a loud, obnoxious laugh and look over to Erwin to see a
scowl on his face.
"What's so funny Mr. Ackerman?" The teacher says.
"Your boob job," I answer, proud of myself for sounding serious. I see her
pulling out a detention slip and laugh again, calmer this time. "It's a waste
of time, I'm not gonna go and you know it." I say to her and she falters before
putting the pad of paper away.
"WHAT? But he's so small. It would only reach like halfway." I write and pass
it over to him.
"Dude, you'd be surprised. We fooled around a little and it's surprisingly big.
I mean, look at his hands." He says and I look over to Armin who is still
staring at me in shock.
I look down to his hands. "Not bad."
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
I walk with Jean to lunch in awkward silence. I want to break it, but I don't
want to have to write it. It's getting really old really fast. I'm gonna need
to learn sign language asap cause doing this all the time is annoying. I just
need someone else to learn it too. I'll get Armin to help me.
I go to buy hot lunch since I didn't pack a lunch this morning and everybody
moves away from me, staring at me like some fragile being. It's as though I
parted the fucking Red Sea with the way a path way cleared. I roll my eyes and
turn back, not bothering with lunch and going to my lunch table.
I sit next to Armin and lean my head on his shoulder. "I hate people." I write
and show it to Armin and he laughs.
"What did people do to you this time?" He jokes and I scrunch my face in
annoyance as an answer, causing him to laugh again. Marco and Jean are
obviously still feeling awkward as the uncomfortably chuckle along. I can't
bring myself to be that mad at them, but everybody else who is staring at me?
Yeah, I can find it in me to be mad at them.
God, I just hate how everybody is acting around me. I'm mute, not dead. I get
up and leave to avoid the stare of others. I go to the library and go to the
historical fiction section to hide. Because, I mean, no one reads historical
fiction.
I pull out my phone to find it dead, so I flipped to a new page in my
notebook.I start drawing the outline of the books before someone sits next to
me, pen in hand."Hey. How are you holding up?" Levi writes in his own notebook
and I jot a note back.
"Stop worrying about me so much. As sweet as it is, most of the school is
already treating me like a delicate flower."
"Well that's annoying."
"Tell me about it."
"So basically, your day sucked?"
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry." He writes before pulling out his phone and a pair of headphones.
He hands one of them to me, which I take, as we listen to music on his phone as
we continue to talk about rather pointless stuff. After awhile and a bell, we
stop talking and he slips his hand in mine. Neither of us care we're missing
class.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
I head to Chem after missing my Econ class, not caring at the stares I get as I
walk to my seat next to Mikasa. "Hey," she says quietly, too gently for my
liking. I wave to her and face to front.
"Okay class, we're gonna have a lab today! Get with your lab partner and..."
That's when I zone out since Mikasa will probably end up doing the lab. I move
when everybody else gets up and sit at the lab bench and pull out a paper to
record data.
This is obviously a filler, because looking down at the sheet, I see that we're
just burning different elements to make the flame turn colors. Mikasa comes
back with the Bunsen burner and Q-tips to burn the elements on.
Hitch the Bitch, as I dubbed her, comes up behinds me and slaps a hand on my
shoulder, and being the bitch Hitch is, brings up something I'd rather not
think about. "Better keep the Suicidal Bastard away from the flame." She
announces with a laugh, only getting a response from her little group of
friends.
I grab Mikasa's wrist before she can pounce and jot a note to her. "Don't do
it. She's not worth it." It says and she sighs.
"Fine," she says and I smile as she begins to murmur things about her being a
"slutty little thot". I got the nickname by her little group of sluts after
they found out that my mom died. Well, actually, they just called me a bastard.
They started calling me Suicidal Bastard after I got into a couple, well,
"accidents" during labs. Getting cut with an exact-o knife, burning myself,
getting splashed with acid. Of course everybody thought it was an accident, but
it wasn't really.
I sit at the table as Mikasa lights the burner. I think of the nickname.
Suicidal Bastard. Bastard. She's dead. It's funny how a rude comment can pay as
a much ruder awakening. She is dead. Because of me. Next thing I know, my
sleeve is on fire.
"Eren!" Mikasa yells from across the room. The flame nips at my skin in a way
that brings relief. It wouldn't be so bad. Death by flame. I think about this
until Mikasa splashes water on me.
"You idiot!" She says as she hugs me. I'm suddenly self-conscious of the fact
my sleeve is burned off. And the bruise showing on my hand. I wipe my bangs out
of my eyes and look at my hand. Thinned makeup comes with the water. Shit. As
soon as Mikasa breaks the hug, I grab my books and run out of the room. The
closest bathroom is down the hall so I run in there hoping it's empty. It's
not.
"Eren?" Armin says as he approaches me. Grabbing a paper towel and wetting it,
he comes and wipes the makeup off my face lightly enough that it doesn't hurt.
But he gets lighter as I start to cry. "What happened?" He asks and I know I
don't have much wiggle room on this, but I don't grab paper to answer. He can't
know.
I look down to my arm as he grabs it. Now that, that hurts. I gasp at the pain
and he brings me to the sink and runs cold water. My cuts look more noticeable
with the burn, but he doesn't seem to notice as his thumb slides over the
bruise taking up most of my hand. The bruise that looks an awful lot like a
heel.
He doesn't say anything as he gets his phone out and takes pictures of my arm.
I yank it from him as he turns it up and takes a picture of my face. "What the
hell." I mouth to him and he looks to me with his mothering look.
"I know you're gonna try to blow this off, but now I have proof it happened."
He says as he shoves his phone back in his pocket. He walks up to me and pulls
the makeup out of my back pocket. I shoot him a surprised look and he rolls his
eyes. "I'm not blind," he says and starts applying it too my face.
He's much better than I am at it, effectively evening the tone of my  skin. I
look in the mirror to see the work he did, then look at him questioningly.
"Listen, I know you probably have a reason for hiding this, but you're gonna
have to tell me. You're my best friend, you can trust me. You can trust Mika
too, but she might murder whoever did this to you." He says as he hands me the
compact.
I wrap my arms around him, ignoring the sting on my arm I get in return, and he
hugs back. I'm happy the no one else is in the bathroom, because we stay like
this for awhile.
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
"We need to talk," Armin says as he pulls me into the janitors closet. My mind
flashes back to Petra and my breakup and I know the circumstance is a lot
different here. Armin whips out his phone and shows me a conversation with
Mikasa on his phone.
 
To Mika: What happened to Eren?
From Mika: He got burned by the Bunsen Burner.
To Mika: How? What happened?
From Mika: I don't know, my back was turned, but this time seemed different. He
didn't react, just watched the flame. I'm scared.
To Mika: Me too
 
He pulls his phone and hands it back to me in a few seconds. "Scroll." He says
and I look at the picture. The first one is a square-shaped bruise on his hand,
making most of it purple and green. The next one is the burn I know will leave
blisters later. I scroll to the last one to see a blue bruise on his face. I
noticed it was puffy earlier, but this is bad. You can see the veins under his
eye and the red around his eye, indicating he'd been crying. His hair is wet
and he looks shocked, eyes green with blue seeping in.
I look up to Armin and see him sad and angry at the same time. "Talk." He
demands and I'm confused.
"What do you mean?" I ask and he rolls his eyes frustratedly.
"Does this have anything to do with why you want the hospital tape?" He asks
and I think. I know Grisha did something, but would he do this. Maybe I
underestimated him too much.
"Probably." I answer and he nods.
"My grandpa is a lawyer, he could probably get them for up, but it'll take a
couple days at least." He says and I feel an overwhelming sense of relief. I
pull him into a hug and he sighs as well.
"Thank you, Armin."
***** Day After Day *****
Chapter Notes
     So... I made the chapter name the name of the song. Cause I really
     like the song I put in. Badfinger is a great band, so I hope ya'll
     like that.
     So, I do something in this chapter I wouldn't normally do so easily.
     Eren is gonna talk stuff out with Historia and Ymir. I make this so
     easy to show the kind of person Eren is, too sweet for his own good.
     I don't think cheating is good and I probably should've done more
     with this, but I'm moving this part along a bit. Sorry if that
     bothers any of you.
     This is a rather fluffy chapter, but I'm just gonna warn you now for
     the next chapter............ So feel free to comment and enjoy!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Eren's POV
 
 
"Okay, so I'm gonna start with common phrases." Armin says as he flips through
the book. He agreed to teach me sign language after soccer practice, so here we
are in his room with a book he picked up before we came here. "This is how..."
He put his fists together. "Are..." He opens them and twists them out. "You?"
He points to me. I try it and he smiles.
"Okay, cool. Now let's try responses." He says and flips through. "Good." He
has his left hand flat in front of him, palm up, and his right hand against his
mouth. He then lowers his right hand into the left hand.
"Bad." He moves his right hand to his lips and lowers it, facing down. "Okay."
He makes an 'O' with his right hand then makes a 'K' while moving it forward
slightly.
"And shitty, also the sign for shit or poop." He puts his fist together, one on
top of the other, and pull them apart, showing his bottom thumb was tucked in
his top fist. I let out a silent laugh as I hear the door open. "Oh, hey guys!"
Armin says and I turn to see Mikasa, Levi, Erwin, and Hanji come in. Suddenly
confused, I write a note to Armin.
"What are they doing here?"He looks up to me and smiles.
"They came to learn with you." He says and I turn to them.
Levi signs "how are you" and I feel my eyes widen as stare turn to him. "What?
I started early." He says looking down shyly.
"Confused, but..." I write and show it to him then sign "okay". He smiles to me
and I turn back to Armin, who's smirking at the exchange. Hanji comes and pins
me down on the bed, peppering my face with kisses. If it was anyone else, I'd
be scared, but I'm not even surprised with her.
"Eren! I missed you so much!" She says as she nuzzles her face next to my head.
I smile, unable to move my hands until Levi grabs the back of her head.
"Shitty Glasses, lay off, you're boobs are probably crushing him." He say,
referring to her estrogen-induced a-cups that have grown as of the late. She
turns around and hugs Levi.
"Aww, thanks for staring, my little midget." She says and it looks as though
there's steam coming from his ears.
"I think he's gonna explode." Erwin says from his place next to Armin. Mikasa
giggles from the beanbag chair in the corner of the room and Hanji backs off of
Levi and joins Mikasa in the same corner on another beanbag. Levi takes a deep
breath through his nose before coming and sitting next to me, bed creaking
under the weight of four teenaged boys.
"So, what did we miss?" Erwin says as he wraps an arm around his small
boyfriend.
"Only responses and Levi's favorite word." Armin says and everybody laughs.
"Hey, I got a sign for you, Mushroom." Levi says before sticking up his middle
finger.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
The next day is dreadful as I struggle through the day. I was told we're going
to have to give a presentation in my language class. I don't know how I'm
supposed to speak German anymore, but the teacher looked awfully uncomfortable
as he assigning the project. I guess I have to learn GSL along with ASL. Fuck
that, I'll just write a damn paper.
There's something about not being able to speak that's more unbearable than not
talking. It's not communicating. You can't just talk like before. You write or
sign, and since I only know how to sign basic words, that's not an option. I
don't think I've truly felt like I've had a real conversation since the
incident. I ponder this as I walk to my last class, English.
I sit down at my desk and listen to Ms. Baker continue to rant about King Lear
and Glouster and his immoral punishment for moral doings as I read it over
again. It's annoying as hell to have to listen to my teachers amateur
interpretation of the story. I sit and try not to write a correction and throw
it at my teacher as she spits out incorrect facts of how Glouster gets his eyes
gouged out.
About halfway through class, I allow my mind to wander until I hear a voice
above me. "Eren? Would you like to repeat what I just said?" My teacher asks to
me, pulling me out of my daze, and I send her the harshest glare I can before
she covers her mouth. "Shit, I'm sorry. Oh god, sorry for swearing, class!" She
says as her face is overcome with a blush from the laughter of the class while
I just want to die. I pack up my things and leave without explanation and
without question and sit down next to my locker.
"She's an idiot." A small voice says as a figure sits next to me. I look up to
see Historia and Ymir sitting next to me and I move to get up. "Eren, wait!"
Historia grabs my arm and I can't find it in me to say no. I stay seated and
give her and her girlfriend an expecting look. "Listen, I'm so sorry. I know
what I did was wrong and I shouldn't have done it, but we had been going down
different paths from the start." She says and it takes everything in me not to
leave, and I guess Ymir sees that because she speaks up.
"Hun, let me handle this." She says to her then leans forward to talk more to
me. "She loved you and you loved her, but I think it's obvious to anyone that
that love faded from romantic to friendly. I know you still love her as a
friend and you have every right to be mad at both of us, but we're trying
here." She says and I examine at her, testing to see the honestly of her
statement.
"Armin bitched up out and had to hold back Mikasa. I think Levi may be plotting
my death." Historia says with an uncomfortable giggle. "I know this in no way
make up for what we did, but I want to work towards forgiveness." she
continues.
I pull out my notebook and write what I want to say then show it to them,
seeing them both relax at what's written."What you did was really terrible. I'm
still mad, but I forgive you both. You're right. I do love Historia as a
friend. You too Ymir, despite our differences, or in this case similarities."
Ymir laughs at it and leans to kiss Historia on the cheek and I fake puke at
it, making them laugh.
"Thanks for being cool about it, Eren." Ymir says and I smile and jot down
another quick note.
"Thanks for not treating me different cause I can't talk to you." I don't look
at them as they read it but suddenly feel arms around me.
"Wouldn't dream of it." Historia says as Ymir joins the hug by moving to the
other side of me. We just sit there for awhile, them trying to make small talk
and me writing back, until Ms Baker comes looking for us.
"I'm so sorry, Eren. I really wasn't thinking." She says, face still flushed
from embarrassment and guilt. I write a response and hand it to her.
"It's fine. And just so you know, Glouster didn't have his eyes plucked out,
they were stomped out. Historically speaking, that was how it happened."She
looks up at me with wide eyes and back at the paper.
"I should probably tell the class that. I would love it if you would come back
to class. And you girls have to come back to class." She says and I glance to
the girls next to me. I then get up and follow the teacher back to her room.
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
"Mikasa, we need your help." Armin says as we approach her. They both have free
period and I have no problems skipping class. We sit down at her table in the
library and he pulls out a piece of paper, knowing this is a quiet
conversation. "We think Grisha is abusive." He writes and Mikasa shakes her
head.
"You think? We both know it doesn't work that way." She says.
When Mikasa was young, her mom was verbally abusive to her behind closed doors.
When she told Armin and Eren, they talked her into tell Kenny. Kenny almost
instantly divorced her, only after recording an exchange. That recording is how
he won custody. But this, if true, has a much more serious punishment, and she
knows this.
"I think we might be able to get proof, we just have to figure out how."I write
and Mikasa raises an eyebrow.
"How?" She whispers and I keep writing.
"I think he did something to Eren in the hospital. I just need to get the
tape." I say and she nods.
"We need to talk to Kenny. And Eren can't know. There has to be a reason he's
defending his father, so we'll keep it on the down low for now." She writes and
Armin and I nod in agreement.
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
Tonight is the game against the Titans. It's the game that determines whether
or not we go to regional. As cheesy as it is, it's also our school rival. It's
literally like every cliché high school movie. I walk in with Pixis and we sit
by the bench during the end of warmup.
"Okay, Jaeger. I really need you tonight. You need to figure out how we can
beat them. They always seem a step ahead of us, but if you focus, you can find
something. Okay?" He says and I nod. Pixis calls all the player over as I start
making a chart of the players when I hear a voice from over yonder.
"Hey, aren't you the guy that got the voice kicked out of him last week?" The
knuckle gripping the whiteboard turn white. I look up to see an lanky looking
guy with long blonde hair and obnoxiously straight teeth. I roll me eyes and
finish making my list. "Oh, so you're not going to answer me?" He says and I
take a deep breath. He's not worth it. He's not worth it."Little pussy can't
even talk back." I slam the board down and start to cross the way over to the
asshole, but a hand on my arm stops me.
"Don't do it, Eren." Hannes says with a worried face. I nod and go back to my
side where the team is back and waiting, half glaring at the other team and
other half looking to me as though I might explode. I pick up the white board
and everybody cheers at what I have to say. "Let's beat these assholes."
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
After the game and us qualifying for regionals, we all go to the 104th for
karaoke night. It's a little awkward at first, Eren not being able to
participate, but then Hannes comes out with a large case. "So, you're mother
wanted me to save this for your eighteenth birthday, but I don't care." He says
as he walk up to Eren, who looks shocked at the mention of his mother.
"When your mom was young, she was very talented. She always loved music and she
always played here. When she had you, she told me to hide this at my house.
After she died, I decided to go along with it, but I see that it's better to
give to you now." Hannes says and opens the case to show an old acoustic
guitar. Eren gently takes it out as if it's made of glass. It's old and warn
with band and music festival stickers all over it. New strings are with it and
a small bag of picks.
He starts to pluck at the strings to find them already tuned. I look up to
Hannes so see him smiling down to Eren with affection. Eren reaches up and
pulls out a locket from under his shirt. He holds it in his fist as a tear
rolls down his cheek, but he has a smile on his face. "Play! Play! Play!"
Reiner yells and everybody else chimes in.
Connie pulls him out of his seat and gets him up on the stage and Eren blushes
as everybody starts cheering. He looks down at me as he puts the strap over his
shoulder. He waves for me to come up and I shake my head. Then Connie comes up
to me and pulls me on the stage too.
"Um..." I say as I look over to Eren to see him smiling at my discomfort. I
think today is the first time I've seen him truly smile in a week. Maybe that's
what allows me to feel confident enough to walk up to him and whisper in his
ear. "I missed your smile, Bright Eyes." I say, lips brushing his ear as he
blushes a deep red. I hear a catcall from our group and give the bird in that
general direction.
Eren starts to play the tabs of an old favorite song of mine and I look to him
in surprise. He looks up at me, flushing deeper as I take the mic and look back
at him.
 
 
I remember finding out about you
Everyday my mind is all around you
Looking out of my lonely room
Day after day
Bring it home maybe make it soon
I give my love to you
 
We move so we're brushing shoulders as he plays and I sing. I watch him as he
bites his lip and I sing the next verse.
 
 
I remember holding you while you sleep
Everyday I feel the tears that you weep
 
I take the mic off the stand and turn to him as I finish the final chorus.
 
Looking out of my lonely gloom
Day after day
Bring it home maybe make it soon
I give my love to you
 
We start leaning towards each other until our lips are about to touch, then
someone whistles in our group and we separate. I feel my face heat up as I look
to a crowd of shit-eating grins.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
As soon as I get out of the car, Eren pulls on my sleeve. "I don't wanna go
inside. Walk with me?"He writes and I nods. He waves back to Mikasa and Armin,
who send a smirk to me before going inside.
We walk along the dimly lit neighborhood in silence as his hand slides into
mine. Our fingers lace together and he pulls me towards the park by the front
of the neighborhood. He stops in a spot in the grass and lets go of my hand as
he lays down. I look around, making sure I don't lay in dog shit as I lay next
to him.
He pulls out his phone and types something before showing it to me. "I'm sorry,
it was nice out and I just wanted to do something different." He says and I
take his phone and type back. "It's fine, it was a good idea." He reads it and
smiles.
He grabs my hand and scoots closer to me. We're chest to chest and forehead to
forehead as his eyes glow under the streetlights. It's beautiful. He's
beautiful. I reach my spare hand up to push some of the hair out of his face
and he tucks his head bashfully. I keep playing with his hair as I lean down
until our noses are touching and stop. I don't push it, just keep like this.
My heart bangs in my chest as we lay like this. His legs tangle in mine so our
bodies are intertwined. There's nothing sexual about the act, but it does make
this seem a lot more intimate. Make us seem less like friends and more like
lovers. I squeeze his hand and he closes his eyes with a smile. We're silent,
but I don't feel awkward. More like content. Like all I need is here with me.
And that's because he is.
His hand that's not holding mine moves to the small of my back and he rubs
circles into it. He looks at me with a look in his eyes I can't describe, but
love it. No, love him. I'm in love with him. His lips are so close to mine, I
can feel his breath. I want nothing more than to kiss him. I
can't do it though. Armin is right. He couldn't have a relationship right now
even if he wanted to, he's not stable. He needs to get better. I notice his
gaze drifting towards the bridge and it serves as a reminder of just that.
"Should we get going?" I say and his eyes flash back to me and he nods.
Chapter End Notes
     OH YEAH, EREN AND HIS SHAKESPEARE! Sorry, I'm a geek and I read that
     in school...
***** Suicidal Bastard. *****
Chapter Notes
     You are all about to hate me so much... I think that's a warning. If
     that isn't a warning, this is: TRIGGER WARNING. There's a rape within
     like the first 3 paragraphs, but I let it vague. I just can't bring
     myself to make it worse. It's horrible enough. I added a new tag(well
     I'm gonna after I update) and it takes place in this chapter. I'm so
     sorry, but this is important to the story. Please discuss in the
     comments. I'm sorry. I'd say enjoy, but that's cruel.
Eren's POV
 
 
I got home with a giddy smile on my face the next day. Everything had been
perfect. The game, Mom's guitar, Levi... everything felt right. I even get to
go back to the Ackerman's tonight. But something started nipping at my brain
after Levi fell asleep. Do I deserve this? I get the answer as my head hits the
door.
"You worthless piece of shit." Oh. My head slams against the door again and I
start to feel dizzy. He yanks my hair and pushes me to the floor. "You're a
useless whore, you know that?" He says as he rips my pants down. No. Not again.
Not when everything was going so well.
I guess he already had a condom ready, because it's a rather quick start. He's
stretching me out with his dick as the pain of being ripped apart goes through
me. "You're pathetic. Worthless." He says as he gets himself off. "You're
nothing but trash. Maybe I should just put you in the trash." He voice starts
to falter as he reaches his peak and I feel disgusted in both him and I. He's
right. Well, minus the whore part, but still.
He groans as he reaches his breaking point and pulls out quickly. He spits on
me for the second time in four days as I lay there, blood leaking from my ass
onto the floor. "Maybe you should just die." He says before going into his
room. You're right. Maybe I should just die. Exhaustion hits me as my eyelids
get heavy. Maybe I should die. But sleep first.
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
"Armin, isn't Eren coming over?" I ask him and he smiles smugly at me. "Yeah, I
think he's on his way." He says and Mikasa laughs. "I'm glad he's doing
better." Mikasa says. I frown at that. He just started talking to everyone
again and he seems to be looking up, but I don't believe he's really doing
better. It doesn'r happen that fast, especially when it's that bad. My thoughts
are confirmed when I get a text.
 
From Eren: I can't do this anymore.
 
I look up to Mikasa and she seems to sense the situation and comes over.
 
To Eren: What do you mean?
From Eren: I'm sorry.
 
Mikasa's and Armin's phones both ring and I know they probably got the same
text. Fuck. Fuck no. I'm not stupid, I know what that means. I leave the house
before I know what I'm doing. I sprint over to his house, terrified of what I
might find. I'm thankful for the short distance as I quickly reach his house.
His front door is wide open and I see blood on his floor. I hear someone behind
me, but keep looking in to see if there's an sign he's in there.
I'm about to go inside when it hits me. Last night in the park. The bridge. I
turn around and run past Mikasa and Armin as I go to the front of the
subdivision. I look at the bridge to see Eren on the outside of the rail,
holding on but leaning forward. The water crashes beneath him as he looks down.
I have to make it.
I'm a few feet away when he lets go. I wrap my arms around his chest just in
time so that he doesn't fall. I pull him over and we fall on the sidewalk. He
looks at me with surprised eyes as I wrap my arms around him.
"Oh my god, Eren. Why?" I say muffled into his shoulder as I start to cry. I
hear footsteps slow down next to me as I make Eren's shirt even more damp since
water had splashed on him.
"Eren... your pants... what...?" Armin says and I look down to it to see blood
near the back of the butt, running down the seam.
Oh my god.
I feel two other pairs of arms around us as I weep into his shoulder. I hear
Eren sniffle and I pull him closer, if that's possible with our legs awkwardly
crushed together.
I pull back abruptly and yank him to his feet. "You... are not... going back
there." I say and his eyes don't meet mind as my voice breaks. I pull him by
his arm the long way home so he doesn't have to pass by his house.
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
They let me use the shower and sleep in Levi's bed. His room is grey and red,
surprisingly calming as I lay there. But I can't lay still. I was supposed to
die. Why didn't I die? Oh right, he saved me. I remember how devastated he
looked, as though my death would mean something to him. Why? All I've done is
hurt him. I walk over to his desk and pull out a piece of paper. I need to
explain.
I write and rewrite, trying to make it perfect. When I deem it acceptable, I
walk downstairs and pass by the living room. Mikasa is weeping and Armin is
holding her with a tired look in his eye. Annie, Hanji, and Erwin are on the
other couch and notice me. Erwin looks shocked and Annie looks mad hurt and
Hanji is crying lightly. I look away and keep walking.
I walk to the basement to find Levi sitting on the couch alone. It's almost
nostalgic of our first night when I found him down here. I guess it's the same
in a way. I sit down next to Levi and put the notebook I wrote in on his lap.
He looks up at me in surprise before reading my note.
"I think you deserve an explanation. When I was 11, my mom died. It's not
exactly a secret, but how she died is. My mom died after we went downtown. We
were walking down the street when a guy came to mug her. I tried to protect
her, but he just shoved me to the side. He stabbed her in front of me. If it
wasn't for Hannes being close enough to hear my scream, I would've been
kidnapped or killed.
"Hannes took me home to my dad and my dad blamed me. Told me how worthless and
weak I was. He was right. It all started with beatings. Never too bad, just
bruises and aching. When I got to high school, he started raping me. I tried to
fight back, but it didn't work. I was too weak. I gave up after that, figured
this is life.
Well, after losing my voice, it just felt... pointless. I couldn't fool myself
into being normal. I'm not normal. The pain in my heart and throat live as
proof. My mom died because of me. It's my fault she's dead. It's cruel to her
that I'm still alive. I wanted to stop causing everyone pain. I wanted to die.
But you stopped me."
He looks up to me with his eyes blue and open for me to see and I'm taken aback
by what I see. He's sad. Why is he sad? He puts his arms around me and pulls me
as close as he can. I sit still, confused on why he's hugging me. He knows. He
knows I killed her. Why would he hug a killer? Why would he feel sad for a
killer? Why did he save me? I don't notice I'm crying until he pulls back and
wipes my tears with his thumb.
"Eren, you deserve to live." He says as he puts a hand on either side of my
head. I shake my head, but he holds it still. "No, you listen to me. That
wasn't your fault. You tried to save her, which is more than most people
would've done. You're brave and wonderful and thoughtful. You're dad is a
despicable person. No, there's not a word that describes just how horrible he
is.
"You are worth so much, Eren, and you have so many people who love you: Armin,
Mikasa, just so many people who couldn't bear to lose you. I can't lose you,
Eren. As selfish as that sounds, I can't lose you. I'm not letting you quit
because some asshole told you you're weak, because you're the strongest, best,
most amazing person I have ever met and you deserve happiness." By the time he
finishes, he's crying with me.
Is... is that true? Do I deserve happiness? How could I?I close eyes and cry
even harder as Levi pulls me onto his chest. I shake my head and he rests his
chin on my head.
"You are good, Eren. You are good."
No I'm not.
"You deserve to be happy."
No I don't.
"You deserve to live." I push him away and get up.
"No." I mouth to him and his eyes widen. I pick up the notepad and write to
him. "No. I'm not good. Someone is dead because of me. It should have been me.
I should have died. I wish I had died." I throw the notebook at him and walk
upstairs. I pass by the living room without looking in it and go upstairs. When
I get to Levi's room, I slam the door, feeling slightly bad at how rude that
is, and lay down on his bed.
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
I read it over and over again. "I should have died." There are wet blotches on
the paper coming from tears, but I can't stop reading it."I wish I had died." I
don't know how long it is that I read and reread that line until I feel someone
snake their arms around my waist.
"Hey." Hanji says and I lean into her.
"I'm so stupid." I say and she holds me close.
"No you're not, you're smart in a crappy circumstance." She says.
"How? How does he think he's bad? He the furthest thing from bad." I say and I
feel her nod next to my head.
"I know." She says and I hand her the paper.
"I had no idea. I mean, I had my guesses about his father, but this..." I say
as she reads it. She sets it down with a shaking hand after she's done.
"Oh my." She breathes out and I hug her again. "I'm so sorry." She says quietly
and it's my turn to shake my head.
"I'm not the one to feel sorry for." I say and there's suddenly a large arm
around both of us.
"Everything will be okay guys." Erwin says and I shake my head again. I'm doing
that a lot tonight.
"I don't know if it will." I say and his other arm wraps around us.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
We eventually go back upstairs to see all of Eren's friends here. Even Historia
and Ymir and here and if Hanji wasn't holding my arm, they might not be alive.
Bert is staring blankly and Reiner has his arm around him.
Jean and Marco are sitting in the lazyboy chair together and Connie is holding
Sasha as she eats ice cream.
Eld and Gunther are here and Annie is still here holding Mikasa.
Armin is next to them with heavy eyes and he looks like he might just pass out
due to stress.
As we come in the room, Petra and Oluo walk into the house. Petra runs up to me
and hugs me while Oluo walks in with bags. "We stopped by the 104th and talked
to Hannes. He gave us food for everybody." Oluo says. Hannes. That day. Eren's
mother.I feel a wave of sadness take over and start to cry again.
I don't know when I became such a sap, but it obviously is a surprise to
everybody as they stare at my with wide eyes as I cry into Petra's shoulder.
She holds me while I still have my grip on the notebook, making her shoulder
wet with my tears. The pain building in my chest is unbearable as Hanji and
Petra bring me over to the spare couch.
Erwin goes and sits by Armin, who practically falls on his shoulder. I curl
into a ball and start crying an awful cry, not even caring about everybody else
in the room. I realize I should explain this to Mikasa and Armin, so I uncurl
myself long enough to get Erwin to grab the notebook and hand it to them.
Mikasa freezes and stares with wide eyes as Armin takes me by surprise. He
stands up and starts to walk away, but Erwin grabs him. Armin glares at his
boyfriend as he restrains him. "That fucker need to die." Armin says with an
anger that surprises everybody. It's as though him and Mikasa switched bodies
or something.
Mikasa gets up and grabs Armin's spare hand. "This isn't the time to do
anything rash. We can use that statement as proof, plus the pants he was
wearing earlier." She says and I cringe at the memory of his blood stained
pants. I go back into my little ball and there's a pale hand on my knee. Mikasa
is in front of me with closed off, grey eyes, yet a sympathetic face. She's
hurting, but she doesn't want to show it.
Armin sits back on the couch as Erwin picks up the notebook and reads
everything. He looks up at me with a sad look and hands it around. I don't
watch the reactions, just listen. Some people don't breathe unless it's a gasp,
some people cry, some people are just quiey. I hear the rustle of paper next to
me and know Petra is reading it. She sets it down softly and puts her arms
around me. I grab it and pull it close as I begin to weep again.
***** Aftermath *****
Chapter Notes
     So I'm just gonna start here by saying THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! The
     comments on the last chapter all made me so happy, so thank you!
     Like, I honestly can't even put into words how happy that made me:
     ) okay, so about the chapter, nothing to major. Mostly plot involved
     stuff. So here you go. Enjoy!
Eren's POV
 
 
I wake up from my sleep in a sweat. It was just a dream. Was it? I run my
fingers though my hair and try to calm down. Levi's sheets stick with sweat to
my chest. Well, he's gonna hate that. I shed my shirt and walk around in a pair
of sweatpants Mikasa gave me. Well, more so threw at me. I should check on her.
I look out the window to see the sun just coming over the horizon. It's Sunday,
I think. My mouth is extremely dry, so I go to the bathroom and put my head in
the sink, washing my face since I'm already down there. I take a look in the
mirror to see my bruises without coverup. My eye is still blue, but not as
bright and less puffy, but a new bruise is forming on my forehead from getting
my head banged on the door. I rub it lightly and cringe at the pain. Yeah,
that's gonna be a bad one.
I hear a door open and a small figure with black hair comes in. He goes to his
drawer and pulls out a pair of pants. He's about to take off his current pair
until I knock on the bathroom doorframe. He looks up in a slight panic and
stays just as rigid as his eyes start to trail down my body. "Shit." He says
and walks over to me.
He first pushes the hair out of my new bruise and looks at that. He outlines it
with his fingers, so soft, as if I might break. He trails down my neck to my
chest and I have to suppress a shiver at the feeling. He starts looking at the
marks along my chest, lashings from the belt, and I guess he sees one travel to
my back, because he walks behind me and starts looking at the ones back there.
He traces one line from the top of my shoulder to the small of my back and
sighs sadly. He leans his head against my back. I lean into the touch before he
quickly moves.
"I'm gonna change then make breakfast. I'll change in the bathroom and you grab
a shirt from the drawer." He says, eyes not meeting mine, before grabbing his
pair of pants from before and a new sweatshirt. He passes by me and shuts the
door as I grab his big, black sweater. I pull it on real quick and decide to
head downstairs. I ignore the pain in my ass as I walk down the stairs.
As soon as I'm down there, I'm practically tackled by Mikasa and Armin. They
both latch there arms around me and I hug them back. They don't say anything,
but it's a nice moment. Until I look up.
Everybody is there, staring at me sadly. What are they doing here? Are they...
here because of me? I walk in the room and see something white laying on the
couch next to Petra. No one says anything as I cross the room and pick it up
and see the handwriting. My handwriting. Pen still tucked in the spine.
I pull in out and write a note as Levi comes down the stairs. I march up to him
and grab his arm to pull him into the kitchen. He doesn't resist as I pull him
past Mikasa and Armin. Once were in the kitchen, I practically throw the
notebook at him.
"They read it, didn't they?"He looks up in confusion.
"Yeah," He says plainly and I rip the book out of his hands.
"That isn't a public document. That's my life. They all know. What the hell are
they even doing here? They know. Why are they still here?" I rant-question on
paper and stare holes into Levi as he reads it.He look up to me with sorrowful
eyes.
"Because you didn't do anything wrong. Because they care about you. I'm sorry I
did it, but I think it proves my point." He says and my glare falters. "You're
a good person and they know that. Is that so hard to believe?" He says and
seems frustrated as I nod.
He goes to the fridge and pulls out the eggs, a bowl of fruit, and milk then
grabs a cutting board from a cabinet. He sets it all down and puts both his
hands on the counter, leaning forward. "You don't have to stay in here." He
says then goes to get a bowl to make the eggs. But I want to, I think to myself
as I go grab a knife to cut fruit. As soon as I grab it, there's a hand holding
my wrist. I look up to Levi to see a scared look on his face. "Put it down." He
says and I roll my eyes.
I put it down and grab a pen and write to him."I just want to help."I say and
he sighs.
"Thank you, but I'm not gonna let you get hurt." He says and turns away. "I'd
never forgive myself if you got hurt." He murmurs so quietly, I'm surprised I
heard it. Just that alone makes my heart beat faster. How does he still care?I
walk up to him and hug his neck and kiss the side of his head. He relaxes into
me and we stay like this for awhile until he turns his head so he's facing me.
"All those people in there are waiting for you and you're keeping me from
cooking. I'm kicking you out of the kitchen, Bright Eyes." He says, but I catch
the amusement in his voice. I nod and grab my notebook before going into the
somber living room.
I walk over and sit by Mikasa and just hug her. I owe it to her, I've been too
distant lately. I pull her close until she practically sits in my lap and I
just hold her. Armin leans his head on my shoulder and grabs my hand, fingers
lacing together. No one says anything, but some people start to fall asleep, as
though they just calmed down. And maybe they have.
A flood of guilt comes over me at the thought as I put my chin on top of
Mikasa's head. Kenny suddenly comes home and looks over at us, raises an
eyebrow, and walks in the kitchen.
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
"You know I'm okay with people over, but why are there so many tired looking
people in the living room?" Kenny asks as he closes the door to the kitchen. He
had been on a date with his new boyfriend last night and I guess stayed
overnight due to his clothes.
I scrap the cooked eggs off the bottom of the pan to scramble them and look up
to him. "Kenny, I need your help." I say and he raises an eyebrow.
"I'm gonna need some details, kid." He says and sits down on the peninsula. I
roll my eyes at his joking implication.
"Eren tried to kill himself last night." I say and Kenny freezes.
"Oh." He says shortly, looking down in though.
"His dad is abusive and I think I can get proof. Can you help me get it?" I ask
and he leans his head on his hand.
"Again, Levi. I need details." He says, seriously this time.
"I think that he did something while Eren was in the hospital." I say and he
nods. "Armin talked to his grandpa and he said that he could do it, but we'd
need someone to have custody because it'd be for a full law suit since he can't
get a warrant." I say and he nods again.
"Well, I'd say I'd take him, but since you obviously like the boy, that
wouldn't work." He says and my face starts to heat up.
"Um... okay... well, maybe Hannes." I say, thinking back to everything with
him. He obviously cares deeply about Eren, so it might work.
"Then you really don't need my help here." Kenny says as I finish the eggs.
It's a huge ass pile, but there's a huge ass amount of people. I grab two mugs
and pour Kenny and myself some coffee.
"Thanks Kenny." I say and don't wait for an answer as I walk into the living
room. "There's food for anyone who wants it." I whisper-shout and a few people
nod, but no one moves. I take a seat next to Petra, sleeping with Oluo, and
Mobilt, who had come later in the night, who is holding Hanji. I give him a
small smile, knowing that this is a step forward in his wheeling of the
romantically oblivious woman.
I pull my legs up to sit crisscross, holding my mug in my lap, and look at
everyone in the room. Most have fallen asleep for the first time, I guess
feeling better now that Eren is here. He's playing with Mikasa's hair as she
sleeps in his lap.
Jean is doing the same to Marco, who silently cried too much last night for
anyone's liking. Jean is also glaring at Eren, but I can tell he's using his
bravado to avoid his feeling. He cares about Eren, like all of us, but he won't
admit it.
Connie and Sasha are full out cuddling as they sleep, Connie snoring and Sasha
drooling. Tch, figures.
Historia and Ymir are next to them. Ymir is the one asleep as she lays in her
girlfriends lap.
Bert and Reiner are both just blankly staring in thought.
Annie is watching over Mikasa intently, much like Erwin watching Armin.
Armin is looking at Eren and his hands, probably thinking the thought that many
are avoiding right now. We almost lost him. I feel a pain spread in my chest at
that thought.
Eren looks up to Armin and write something that literally none of us have
thought and Armin reads out loud quietly. "Should I call the police?" We're all
idiots.
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
"Should I call the police?" Armin reads and laughs lightly. "Yes, you should."
He says oddly happily. I don't know if I deserve it or not, but I can't go home
to that. I can't live through that again. I've been ignoring pains in my legs
due to it this morning.
Armin quickly takes his phone out of his pocket, waking Mikasa as he crashes
around. She doesn't ask what's happening as Armin pulls up the dial screen.
"What do you want me to say?" He asks and I think about this. Do I say
everything? How long? What if they ask why I haven't said anything sooner? I'll
just keep it vague. I pick up my pen and start writing.
I show it to Armin and he reads it over before dialing 911. "Hello? Yes, hello,
my name is Armin Arlert." He says before starting to read. "I'm speaking on
behalf of my friend, Eren Jaeger. He's can't speak due to a soccer accident a
week ago. He was raped by his father last night. Yes, I'll hold." He says and
there's a pause. When the phone comes back on, he says his own words instead of
my own.
"Yes, his father is Grisha Jaeger. Yes, his father has abused him before." I
feel my eyes widen as he continues to speak. "He has been abused physically,
emotionally, and sexually. I can tell you where you can most likely get proof
too." He says and looks to me carefully. Wait, how the hell would he have
proof? I look to Mikasa and see she has a similar expression to Armin. Looking
across the room, I see the same for Levi.
"I'm free all day today. I can tell you where to find it, but if you wouldn't
mind, I would like to come with you. Yes, 4:00 is fine. This number. Thank you,
sir. Goodbye." He says and hangs up the phone before looking to my expecting
face. "They're calling me at 4:00. They're gonna search for Grisha as well." He
says, not answering my question at all. I pick up a pen and begin to write.
"You three know something I don't. Talk." I say and notice that he doesn't
question the three people part.
"Levi thinks something happened while you were in the hospital." He says and I
think back. Every time Grisha was there, Levi was standing between us. Did
something happen before that? I look over to Levi to see him nodding.
"Just trust me on this." He says and I can't bring myself not to. He hasn't
steered me wrong.
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
Everybody but Armin and Eren left relatively soon after that. We all decided to
go to the hospital together. If something was up, we didn't want Eren alone,
just in case. Armin got the call and told them to meet us at the hospital.
We all piled into Armin's car, Armin and Mika in front, Eren and me in back. As
soon as we got there, Mikasa was out of the car. You can tell she's nervous to
see what's on that tape. Who could blame her?
So here we are now, in the lobby as Armin talks to the police. "Levi, come
here." The officer says and pulls me aside. "Are you sure there's evidence on
this tape?" He asks, obviously skeptical due to my age.
"Not one hundred percent, but if we don't look, we'll never know, and we may
regret that." I say and he nods.
"Okay, get your friends. We're going to check." He says and turns. I walk
towards to Mikasa and Eren and wave for them to follow. Armin has already
started to follow by the time the two get up. We all walk into a back room
filled with wires and screens. On those screens show different area's from all
over the hospital, including the rooms.
"You were in room 116?" A lady at the laptop asks Eren and he nods. She goes
through the tapes to a week ago then turns to me. "When exactly was it?" She
asks and I think about it.
"It was last Friday at around eleven at night." I say and she turns back to the
computer and pulls up the tape for that time. It shows the nurses working on
Eren's vitals while he's still passed out. They eventually stop working and
look at his charts before leaving.
She scans the time bar like a YouTube video and finds when someone is in the
room. It's Grisha. She clicks on it and we begin watching. I grab Eren's hand
and he smiles weakly before turning back to the screen. Grisha walks around,
looking like he's talking angrily. This strangely goes on for a few minutes
before he crosses the room to Eren's bed.
He wraps his hands around Eren's neck and presses his thumbs down. That's also
the moment Eren wakes up. He grabs at his fathers hands and claws at them, but
it doesn't stop. Eventually, he passes out again and I come in. They pause it
before they see me threaten him. I turn to Eren to see him looking with wide
eyes. "Do you remember that?" I ask and he shakes his head, staring at the
screen in shock.
***** Backstory *****
Chapter Notes
     So, I like this chapter. You get plot stuff, Levi's backstory, and
     Eren's first boner. Yay! Oh my... So, here you go! Feel free to
     comment! Enjoy!
Eren's POV
 
 
Everything was a blur after that. I was rushed to another X-ray on police
command to see where exactly the damage had happened. It took about an hour and
ten X-rays. When it was finally over, I was sent to a hospital room to wait.
I've been here since. I lay down on the bed waiting for them to come.
I look out the window to look at the parking lot. I scan it for my fathers car.
It isn't there. There's a click at the door, so I turn to see that the doctor I
had before is back, along with a police officer, Mikasa, Armin, and Levi. They
come over and stand by me.
"Well Eren. We have some questions about that night." The officer says and
hands me a notepad. "So, after you got hit with the ball, could you talk?" He
asks and I shake my head. "Could you breathe?" I shake my head again. "Do you
remember anything you saw on that tape?" I shake my head.
"Well, it sounds like paralysis even back then, but we can't be sure if it was
bilateral or not. If it was unilateral paralysis, we could've been able to make
you talk again. The symptoms are similar, but not quite as severe. We can't
know from a medical standpoint without X-rays from before." The doctor says and
I feel myself get mad.
"So we can't find out?" Levi says angrily, taking the words from my mouth.
"Actually, we can through interrogation. But that would require finding him."
Wait, what?
"What do you mean finding him?" Mikasa growls.
"Well, it appears he has gone missing." The police says.
"But what if he comes back? What if he hurts Eren again? What if..."
"Mikasa." Levi interjects. He grabs my hand and takes a deep breath before
continuing. "How long do you think until you find him?" He asks the officer.
"About two weeks. If he comes back, we'll know." He says and Levi nods. I feel
him turn his attention back to me, but I can't move. I can't really do
anything. There just one thought that's flooding my mind: He's gonna kill me.
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
This time was bad. We had to practically carry Eren to the car. He didn't
react, face unchanging. I unbuckle him now and start to pull him along. He
looks blindly ahead as we walk inside. After telling everything to the police,
they're assigning Eren to counseling with our school counselor once a week.
They're searching for Grisha and when they find him, there will be a trial. I
take Eren down to the basement and hold him as he starts to shake. He's not
crying, not sad, just shaking. I'm worried about why. He keeps getting texts
that only make him writhe harder. Eventually he gets up and writes a sloppy
note.
"I need to go." It says and doesn't meet my eyes.
"Why? We told you you can stay here until everything is sorted out with
Hannes." Hannes said he would take Eren, but he needed to make room first. Eren
opens his phone and sends me a text.
 
From Eren- I can't stay. I need to find him.
 
I look up to see a tear finally making its way down. I stand up and grab his
face to wipe the tear. "No. I'm not letting you get hurt." I say and he shakes
his head.
He opens notes on his phone and answers me."And I won't let you all get hurt.
If I stay, you will." He says and pulls up a conversation on his phone.
 
From Grisha- Heard you tried to kill yourself. Maybe you should've actually
done it. Cause then, I wouldn't have to do it.
You better come home tonight. I know your hiding at the Ackermans.
 
I look up to see him crying more, but he leans down and lightly puts his lips
on mine. They only stay for about a second before he backs away. I feel the
blood rush to my cheeks as he grabs his phone and sends me another text,
walking away.
 
From Eren- I can't let him hurt you, Levi.
 
I cross the room to him and grab his arm. "He won't. Let's get the others. We
can see if we can stay at Armin's." I say and he looks hesitant at I pull him
upstairs. We walk into the living room where Mikasa and Armin are sitting. "We
can't stay here." I say and their eyes widen.
"What do you mean?" Mikasa asks, standing up.
"I'll explain in the car. Let's go." I say and Eren doesn't move as we move to
the door.
"Come on, Eren." Armin walks up and grabs his hand, but he tears it away.
"Don't you think he knows where we're going?" He writes and Armin looks down in
thought.
"Let's go to the hotel downtown. My grandpa gave me a card for emergencies and
I'm pretty sure this qualifies." Armin says and Eren's eyes widen. I go and get
my drivers license from the kitchen before going to Armin's car with Mikasa.
Eventually, Eren and Armin come in and we pull out.
I explain everything to them and Armin almost crashes the car. "Mikasa, call
911, Levi, text Kenny and tell him to stay at his boyfriend's tonight." Armin
says as we pull into the hotel parking lot.
Armin then takes the phone from Mikasa as I text Kenny. "Hello, this is Armin
Arlert. Grisha Jaeger sent a death threat to his son. He's going to either be
at his house or the house three doors down tonight. They're the first house of
the right on Shigansia road. Okay, thank you. Goodbye." He says to the phone
before we go inside.
The women behind the counter eyes us skeptically. "Hi, we need a room with two
bed." Armin says and the women rolls her eyes.
"ID please." She says and I show her mine. "There's no way you're eighteen."
She says with mockery in her voice.
"Okay, listen up. We need a room and you need to not be a bitch." I snap and
she looks kind of scared. I look to Armin to see his surprised look. The women
rings us up and gives us a room key.
"Thank you." Armin says politely and I roll my eyes. "I'm going to go get some
stuff for school, plus I should explain everything to my grandpa." Armin says.
"I'll go too." Mikasa says and Armin nods before waving and leaving. Eren and I
walk towards the elevator and press the button.
We step on the elevator, soon joined by a little girl with wet hair in a
bathing suit. He stands in the corner shyly as the elevator starts to move up.
Eren smiles a sweet smile and waves to the girl, who relaxes before waving
back. How does he think he's bad? Little kids even like him.
The door opens on the second floor and we get out of the elevator. Our room is
close to the elevator, so we find it easily. We unlock the room and go inside.
Eren almost instantly flops onto a bed. Not even surprised.I walk up to him and
lay next to him, actually facing him, who's face is buried in the mattress.
It's a few minutes later that I realize he's shaking again. I put my arm around
him and he curls up against me. "Hey, everything will be okay." I say, finally
becoming confident in my words. He looks up to me with sad, shining eyes and I
press our foreheads together.
I just want him to see how much he means to me. I want to make him happy. I
know I can't do that, but I want to help. Help him see that his past isn't him.
And maybe I can help with that.
"My mom was a prostitute." Okay, bad way to start, but it got his attention as
he stares at me with wide eyes. "She was an Ackerman. Kenny's sister, so before
you ask, yes I am actually related to him and Mikasa.
"Anyway, she died when I was young, but she was never a registered citizen, so
neither was I. I lived in her apartment and struggled to survive.When I was 10
and figured out how a dick works, I took up the family business. It wasn't
enough though so I got two roommates, Farlan and his sister Isabel.
"Farlan was nice and reliable, although he liked to act older than he was, and
extremely protective of his sister. Isabel was beautiful, gentle, and a bit
child like. She had trouble sleeping, so I used to play guitar for her and sing
until she fell asleep. She tried to teach me how to play piano, but we didn't
have time to get very far. She's one of the reasons I love music.
"Farlan was also a prostitute, but Isabel wasn't. She dealt drugs because she
said she didn't want to fuck. She wanted to make love. I liked the idea, but I
had to pay rent somehow.
"One day, when I came home from a client, they were both in the apartment dead.
She was bleeding from her vagina and her eyes were shut with crusty tears.
That's when I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't keep living like that,
where I gave myself willingly to strangers while she got her innocence and life
stolen from her.
"I contacted Kenny for the first time and he let me in. I never thought I could
love again, family wise or romantically. But someone proved me wrong." I say
and look down. He reaches up and puts a hand on my cheek and smiles.
"Eren, I know your past is shitty, but that's not you. You are in no way your
father's actions, or the person that mugged your mom. You're a great person who
had to grow up too soon. I wish you could see how great you are." I say and he
blushes deeply. The door clicks and Armin and Mikasa walk in.
"Of course their cuddling." Mikasa says and Armin laughs.
"It's not even surprising anymore. It's just the norm." Armin says and Eren
laughs through his nose, effectively ruining the moment.
"Great, Mushroom became a comedian and Eren blows his boogers out when he
laughs. Pretty soon the world will end when Mikasa actually shows emotion." I
say and Armin and Eren laugh while Mikasa glares.
"Like you're one to talk." She says and the other two laugh again. My phone
vibrates in my pocket as Eren locks his phone.
 
 
From Eren- I can see the relationXD
 
 
Eren's POv
 
 
I wake up to the sound of a shower, an empty bed next to me, and a sense of
relief. They found Grisha the night before and now he's in jail until the trial
which is in a couple of weeks. I look over to the nightstand to see a note from
Mikasa.
"Armin and I went to go get breakfast. Be ready for school by 6:30. -Mikasa"
I look to the clock to see that it's 5:45. I reluctantly get up out of bed and
go to Armin's bag. He said he brought me some of the clothes I left at his
house the last time I was over. I rummage through the bag as I hear a door open
behind me. Once a grab my stuff, I look up to a sight.
Levi has nothing but a towel on that's clinging for life. His hair is wet and
pushed out of his face and he glistens from the water. The shine it left helps
to define his muscles, from his toned arms to his well defined abs to the 'v'
at his hips that points to the only thing on him covered by that towel. There's
a weird feeling in my stomach as I look up to his foggy eyes staring me down.
He walks past me, brushing up against me as he grabs the big sweater of him I
wore the day before. He slips it on and lets his towel drop, everything covered
by the sweater. I suddenly feel the fleece of my pants rub against my dick and
blood rush to my face. I grab my clothes and my phone and go into the bathroom
as calmly as possible.
After I'm in there, I pull down my pants to see that I have a rather large
boner. Shit, what do I do with that? I grab my phone and text Armin.
 
To Armin- QUICK, WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE A BONER?
 
Not even a minute later, he answers.
 
From Armin- SERIOUSLY?! LITTLE EREN HAS HIS FIRST BONER?!
To Armin- NOT HELPING. I have to get ready for school, but it's rather
noticeable.
From Armin- Well, Levi could always help you with that, since he's probably the
cause...
To Armin- Again. NOT HELPING.
From Armin- Fine, just jerk off in the shower.
 
I mean, I guess it's logical. I turn on the shower to its hottest setting,
knowing there's probably not a lot of hot water left. I strip myself of my
shirt and get in the shower. The feeling of water pounding against me makes my
knees weak as I grab hold of the bar on the side. My fingers feather on my
shaft and for once I'm happy I can't make sounds because the one that would've
just come out would've been embarrassing.
I wrap my hand around my dick and start to move it up and down. It's a odd
feeling, but when I accidentally touch the head, pleasure overcomes all doubts
I have on it. I thumb the head and feel the coil in my stomach tighten as I
touch the slit. I'm so far gone, I don't hear the moan coming from the room.
I imagine Levi, the way he looked a couple of minutes ago. How he'd look under
me. How he'd look if we made love, him coming to my name. That thought sends me
over and a white liquid sprays from me as I continue to jerk myself to a
finish.
I wash myself off when I come down from my high. Did I just jerk off to Levi? I
open the curtain and look around for a towel. There's only a small one left, so
I send a text to Levi.
 
To Levi- I need the towel, there's only a washcloth in here.
From Levi- Well, the one out here is... dirty now...
Oh.
***** Talk about it *****
Chapter Notes
     Sooooo.... I'm not gonna lie, I feel super awkward about the tiny
     smut thing I wrote. I'm gonna write more, don't get me wrong, but I'm
     very aware that sucked. Sorry:/ Anyway, this chapter is half a sex
     talk, part love talk, part sign language because I'm actually
     learning sign language and I'm having fun with writing to:) So,
     enjoy!!!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Eren's POV 
 
 
From Armin- YOU AND LEVI BOTH GOT OFF TO EACH OTHER!!!
To Armin- Really? I had no idea.
From Armin- THIS IS BIG! How big was he?
To Armin- I REPEAT, I DID NOT SEE HIM NAKED. Just close to...
 
Armin and I have been texting all school day about this. Apparently, my first
boner is a big deal, but he didn't even blink at my first kiss. Right now we're
at lunch and he's still bothering me over text about this.
 
From Armin- How big do you think he is? *wink wink*
To Armin- Dude.
From Armin- Okay, fine. I still think you should've just had sex.
To Armin- It can't just be "oh, I got a boner, let's fuck." I want sex to mean
something.
From Armin- God, you're so cheesy. S'CUTE.
To Armin- NOT CUTE. But sue me if I don't like meaningless sex. And I know he
doesn't either.
From Armin- Um... HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?
 
Opps. Didn't mean to spill that. I look over to him to see him practical
vibrating with excitement. Eww.Let's not think of Armin vibrating while talking
about my nonexistent sex life.
"What is up with you two? Eren looks disturbed and Armin has his evil grin on."
Jean says and Armin slaps his hands on the table.
"Eren had a boner!" Armin yells and I slap my hand over his mouth. I flush
deeply as several people turn to us.
"Shut the fuck up!" I write down and Armin licks my hand. I make a fake gaging
face and wipe my hand on him.
"Woah, back up! Eren got a boner for shorty but not this little angel?" Ymir
says and gestures to Historia, who blushes and waves her off.
"Well, that's great, Eren. I'm glad you like him so much," she says with a
genuine smile. I let out a deep breath through our nose and cover my face with
my hands, feeling the heat come off my face.
"Okay, we're NOT talking about this anymore."I write and show it to them.
"But they don't know the best part!" Armin says and I cover his mouth again
before he can say it. I bring out my phone and text him.
 
To Armin- STOP. It probably meant nothing to him. He wants meaningful sex, and
I'm not even a virgin. Besides, you can't make love if you don't love someone.
 
I send and he looks up to me. "You know that's not true. And it's not like it
was your choice anyway. I'm making this a table discussion." He says and I hide
my face again.
"If a guy jerks off to around the same time you do about him, it's probably
about you, right?" Armin says and I peek through my hands to see everybody nod
with shit-eating grins. "And if the person want sex to mean something, then
they obviously care about the person they jerked off to, right?" They all nod
again. "Even if the person isn't a virgin?" Armin says softer this time. They
all nod with slightly more sympathetic grins. I send him a text and lay down in
my arms of the table.
 
To Armin- I'm not just not a virgin. I am literally damaged. I don't know if
everything is still... put together.
From Armin- Maybe you should go to the doctor's.
To Armin- I'm not making Hannes pay for an ass exam.
From Armin- Maybe Hanji will help.
To Armin- I hope you realize that she isn't a real doctor yet.
From Armin- Listen, I actually talked to her about this and she helps trauma
patients when she volunteers at the hospital and that's a pretty common test.
Go ask her.
 
I look up to see him looking at me encouragingly and I shrug before sending a
text to the contact Hanji added to my phone.
 
To Hanj<3:)***- Can I talk to you privately?
From Hanj<3:)***- Of course! Is everything okay?
To Hanj<3:)***- I need to make sure of that. When's your free period?
From Hanj<3:)***- Next hour.
To Hanj<3:)***- Meet me in the nurses office.
From Hanj<3:)***- Okie!
 
I look up to Armin worriedly and he nods, know what I was going to ask. He puts
a hand on my shoulder as I pick up my notebook. "What about you, I know you and
Erwin are probably gonna have sex." I say and he blushes darkly.
"Oh, let me read, this looks interesting," Ymir says and reads it out loud.
"Your letting him fuck you?" Jean says with slight disgust.
"Actually... he wants me to top..." He says and I laugh. Well, laugh as much as
I can through my nose. I look up to see everyone else gaping at Armin, until
Marco breaks the silence.
"Go Armin!" He giggles and Historia and Ymir laugh as Jean turns to him. "What?
It a nice change! Good for him for being top. Someone here won't let me do it."
Marco says surprisingly bluntly and Jean gets dark red.
"I-I didn't know you wa-nted to." He stammers and we all laugh at him as he
turns darker and his voice cracks.
 
 
Levi's POV 
 
 
"So yeah, I told him everything." I say to Erwin and Hanji and they stare in
shock. Like, eye-popping, jaw-dropping shock. They both look hilarious right
now and I'd love it if it weren't about me. "Any day now." I say and Erwin
shakes his head.
"Sorry, I'm just surprised. I mean, I knew he meant a lot to you, but wow." He
says, not even looking at me, as though he's think as he goes.
"Is he the one?" Hanji says half seriously, half jokingly and I lower my head
and blush.
"Of course not, that's too cheesy for my style." I say and she cackles loudly.
I distantly hear Armin yell scream about his boner or something, but I pay no
mind to it.
"Levi! That's so cute! You're in love!" Hanji says and she hugs me and Erwin
chuckles.
"Never thought I'd see the day," he says with a smirk.
"Honestly, for awhile, me neither." I say and he nods, knowing exactly what
changed my mind. Hanji finally lets go of me as her phone goes off.
"Oh look, it's from your boyfriend!" She says and elbows me harder than
intended.
"What did he say?" Erwin asks as Hanji gets absorbed into the conversation.
"Sorry guys, I think this is private." She says as she stares at her phone with
a confused face. Erwin and I exchange worried looks and Hanji locks he phone. I
look over to Eren to see his shit-eating grin before his friends laughing. I
smile slightly at the sight until I hear a clicking sound next to me.
"What the hell?" I turn to Hanji to see her phone pointed at me.
"You were smiling! Openly! I needed to document it!" She says before getting up
to leave.
"Send it to me!" Erwin calls after. "I hate you both."
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
"Okay, so this is probably going to be weird, but I need to stick my finger up
your ass." Hanji says as I lay on the nurses bed in a spare gown, ass up. Armin
grabs my hand as he stares at my back, seeing it for the first time in years.
I nod to Hanji and she puts a lubricant on her hand. "It's going to be cold and
slow, but I need to be careful not to hurt you." She says gently and I'm
suddenly happy someone I know is doing this. I look up to Armin, who is looking
down to me now. I squeeze his hand as Hanji sticks her finger in slowly.
It hurts, but not too badly. It's mostly just an uncomfortable feeling, but my
mind flashes back to Grisha and I'm suddenly crushing Armin's hand. "Maybe you
should stop..."
"I really wish I could, but one of the rules is not to stop or else you never
finish and he'll never get past this." She says and I guess it makes sense. Her
finger brushes on something that makes my body flare up and she laughs at my
reaction. "Found it." She says, but doesn't touch it again.
She slides her finger back out and goes to wash her hand in the sink. "There's
some damaged tissue, but nothing that won't heal on its own. You got real
lucky, actually." She says as I slide underwear on.
"Thank you." I sign to her by lowering my hand from my lips and she smiles.
"No problem!" She says and Armin looks at me.
"Don't you have class right now?" He asks and I nod. Both he and Hanji laugh as
we walk out of the room.
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
We all sit in Armin's room again for another sign language lesson and Eren is
confusing himself. Armin has been trying to teach Eren "who" and "why" for
about ten minutes now. The signs themselves aren't even that similar.
"Think of it like this. When you wonder who someone is, you put your hand by
your mouth, and when you wonder why something is, you put it by your forehead."
He says and Eren nods. "Okay, now do why." Armin says and Eren goes to his
mouth. "I give up!" Armin says as he flops on his bed.
"God, for a genius, you're a dumbass. When you sign "why", you make the letter
'y' with your hand." I say and show the sign to them and Eren lights up. His
mouth forms and 'o' as he excitedly does the sign.
"Show off." Armin murmur and I roll my eyes.
"You just can't teach." I say and Mikasa sighs. "I could've told you that." She
says from her spot, laying against Hanji.
"If we're gonna keep doing this, let's do something fun!" Hanji says and
straightens up, leading to Mikasa falling into her lap.
"We could do name." Erwin suggests and Armin nods.
"Yeah, that sounds fun!" He says and I flip through the book.
"There's no names I here." I say and Armin laughs.
"Well duh, there are too many names to make signs for. Plus half of us have
really weird names, so they probably wouldn't make them for us." He says and we
all nod in agreement.
"So we get to make them up?" Hanji asks.
"I could think of a few for you." Mikasa says as she glares up at Hanji, who
laughs to her.
"Should it be universal, or can we make nicknames?" Erwin asks.
"I guess it doesn't matter since Eren is the one using them, so he should pick
them out." Armin says and hands the book to Eren, who moves close to the small
blonde.
He flips through the book and points to Erwin before tracing his eyebrows with
his pointer fingers and thumbs. I burst out laughing as Erwin pouts. "Wow,
really feeling the love, Eren." He says and Hanji joins in my laughing.
Eren points to Hanji before making circles next to his head, signing for crazy.
We all laugh, including Hanji. "I think I like my name now." Erwin says and
Hanji laughs again.
Eren then points to Armin and points to his lips with two fingers and moving
them down. "What does that mean?" Mikasa asks as Armin "aw"s and hugs Eren.
"He called me cute." He says and I roll my eyes.
"I would've named you mushroom." I say and he looks at me challengingly.
"Jealous?" He says and I hold my hands up in defeat, making everyone laugh.
Eren points to Mikasa before touching both his shoulder and bringing them out
into fists, making a flexing movement. "It means strong." Armin says and Mikasa
smiles and blushes lightly.
Eren flips through the book again before putting a finger to his mouth before
making in arch into his open hand in front of him. Armin's eyes widen as he
sees the sign. Eren shuts the book after, almost on Armin's face, due to how
closely he was looking at it. "What does that mean?" I ask and Eren just
shrugs. Armin grins widely and laughs loudly while the rest of us are at a
loss.
"That's great." Armin says as he wipes a tear away and we all stare in
confusion.
Chapter End Notes
     IS IT A NICE SIGN? IT IT NOT? IS IT EREN BEING A SHIT? Stay tuned;)
     *crawls into hole*
***** Falling in Love *****
Chapter Notes
     So it's been awhile... Only like two daysXD I hurt my wrists, so
     everything is uber tiring and I fell asleep a lot while writing.
     Thank you guys so much for your comments and getting me to 3k hits!
     So, if you can't tell from the colleges I put in this chapter, they
     live in Michigan. I hope you guys like this chapter, because it's
     nice and fluffy. Enjoy:)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Eren's POV
 
 
Hannes invited Mikasa, Levi, and Armin over for dinner on my first night there.
It's obvious Hannes is guilty for not helping me with Grisha, but also knows it
wasn't his fault. He said inviting them over was the least he could do.
"So, have you guys been thinking about college?" Hannes asks the typical junior
question, despite Levi being a senior.
"I'm looking at University of Michigan's engineering program." Armin says and
Hannes smiles.
"To be honest, I'm looking into UofM too." Levi says and I look over to him. As
stupid as it may sound, we've never talked about college. UofM isn't that far
of a school, but it's incredibly hard to get in. He's really smart, although he
hates teachers, so therefore skips class a lot, but he still manages to do
well.
"What do you want to major in?" Hannes asks.
"I was thinking about music education with a minor in biology. I want to try to
get into the music business, but I wouldn't do it if I didn't have a job to
fall back on." He says and I look to him. I could see Levi being a teacher, but
he honestly could make it in music. I look to Hannes to see his reaction to see
a wide smile on his face.
"That's what Eren's mother did. I still have her demo track actually." He says
with a far away look in his eye.
"Well I'd love to hear it sometime." Levi says with a polite smile.
"So, what about you Mikasa?" Hannes asks and Mikasa frowns a little.
"I don't really know to be honest. I was thinking about music therapy, but I
have no idea what school is good for that." She says, uncharacteristically
unsure.
"You know, Western Michigan is really big in that." Armin says. "They're
actually better than MSU on that one." He continues, obviously having looked
into this. Mikasa smiles and looks down.
"That actually sounds nice. I just don't want to go too far, you know?" She
says and they all nod. Hannes turns to me next.
"And you?" He asks and I pick up my pen.
"I'm not even sure if I can. Most courses involve speeches. Plus I don't know
who would accept me or what job I could get. Hell, I don't even know if I can
afford it."I write and Hannes nods.
"Well, we'll have to do some research on that." He says with a forced smile.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
Levi ended up staying the night. I don't know why, but Hannes seemed to push
for them to. The other two had too much homework to stay, so only Levi did. We
lay in my bed texting each other.
To Levi- So, you're thinking about U of M? Haven't acceptance letters already
come out?
From Levi- Yeah, I'm just not sure about the music program.
To Levi- YOU GOT IN AND DIDNT TELL ME?!
From Levi- Calm down, brat. I don't know if I got into the music school. I'm
hoping for a scholarship, but that school is crazy competitive.
To Levi- Yeah, but you're really good! When do you find out?
From Levi- In a few weeks. There only one problem that the music school focuses
on. Background checks.
To Levi- Wait, did you ever get caught?
From Levi- No, but I think Grisha knows.
 
I jolt up into a sitting position and stare at him.
 
To Levi- HOW
From Levi- There only two ways: he was a client, and I'd remember that, or he
was in the underground for other reasons.
To Levi- Underground...?
From Levi- The ghetto. We called it the Underground, like the Underground
Railroad, only for criminals. The police didn't bother with us, so we were
free.
To Levi- Well this is worrisome. What do you think he was doing there?
From Levi- Well, whenever doctors come, it's generally to sell pot.
To Levi- At this point, it doesn't surprise me.
From Levi- So you finally see it?
To Levi- See what?
From Levi- That he was an asshole? That you didn't deserve what he did to you?
That you deserve to be happy?
 
I don't know how to answer. Do I deserve to be happy? I look up to Levi. Do I
deserve him as he looks so... lovingly at me? Why is such a stoic man so open
with me? My phone buzzes, talking me out of my thoughts.
 
From Levi- I know you won't believe me, but you're pretty amazing.
 
I feel heat rise to my cheeks as I look up at him. He is beautiful. There's no
other way to describe him. He's not feminine, not at all, but he's pure grace.
His features, both soft and hard, perfect accent each other. Everything from
his hands, slightly smaller than mine, laced into mine, to the darks circles,
framing his eyes as they change from rain to clear skies. I slip my arms around
his broad shoulders and pull him close, my head on his chest so I can hear his
heartbeat. He puts his cheek on top of my head as I drape a leg around him. I
know it's a rather suggestive poise, but I just need him close. Close enough to
have the steady bump in his chest carry me to sleep.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
Dark. That's all I can see. I turn to my right. Then I see red. Left? Blue.
Mother in red, Father in Blue. "You did this." My mom says. "You're useless."
Grisha says. "You killed me." She says. "You're pitiful." He says. "Why did you
do it?" She asks as she starts to cry. I go to walk towards her, but I can't. I
look back to see Grisha holding my arm. "You can't hurt her anymore." He says
and I look back over to see my mom, laying limply, covered in blood. Something
forces me down. I look up to see the bottom of his foot stomp my chest. Then he
swing kicks my head. Then kicks my side. I lay there and take it, unable to
move until something warm incases me and I open my eyes.
I think I would've fallen off the bed if it weren't for Levi straddling me. His
lips are presses to mine, eyes open. He pulls back as soon as I wake up. "I
swear to god, you are the heaviest sleeper I..." He's interrupted by me pulling
him down for a rather odd embrace.
My arms are wrapped around his waist and my head is on his toned chest while he
still has his legs wrapped around me. He roll us to the side and hooks his
ankles around my back, bringing us closer together.
"It's okay Eren, everything is fine," he says to me as my tears start to stain
his shirt. He strokes my hair as I start to tremble. I pull back just enough to
pull my phone and write in notes.
"Why are you so good to me? You know what I did."I write and he frowns deeply
as I set my phone down.
"Eren, you didn't do it. Don't you get that? You had no control over it. I
treat you the way I do because you deserve no worse." He says and I feel heat
rise to my cheeks. "I wish you saw what I see in you." He whispers and kisses
the top of my head. Something warm blossoms in my as I take in his words.
He sees me as worthy of happiness. Am I? I look up to him and he lightly kisses
my nose. I scrunch it and he laughs. God, I love his laugh. It's higher that
you'd expect, short but sweet. I pull myself up a little and rest my forehead
on his. The grey fades from his eyes to a warn blue, veiled by a thin grey
curtain. I love his eyes. To be honest, I don't think there's anything I don't
love about. I love him.
I smile at the revelation and he smirks and raises a questioning eyebrow. I
answer by pointing to me and signing the sign I put as his name so he can feel
it on his body. By missing my point to myself, he completely misses the point
of what I just said, but he smiles that crooked smile that does things to me,
so I guess it works for him. I let what I just said bounce around in my mind as
I drift to a much sweeter sleep.
"I'm falling in love."
Chapter End Notes
     Yeah, Levi's sign means fall in love or falling in love. Thought I'd
     be cheesy:)
***** I Love You *****
Chapter Notes
     I LOVED WRITING THIS CHAPTER. Like, honestly. Thank you guys so much
     for putting up with all the angst, so major fluff now:)
     Also, I thought of an idea for a new fanfic. I'm gonna finish this
     one, it still has awhile left, but it's past halfway over now. So
     I'll start that soon, but I wanna get far in it before I start
     posting it.
     So here's the happy chapter! Enjoy:)
Levi's POV
 
 
I wake up to Eren sleeping with a smile in my arms. I could get used to this.
He's just so at peace. I glance at the clock that Hannes has for Eren in the
room and see that school starts in about an hour and a half. Leaning down
slightly, I kiss Eren's nose he crinkles it adorably. His eyes flutter open,
still fogged with sleep.
He looks up at me and lightly kisses my lips. "Hi" he mouths to me as I stare
at him with wide eyes. Did he just...? I guess I shouldn't be surprised at this
point, but the way he did it so easily makes my heart flip. Slowly the fog
fades from his eyes and his eyes widen. He reaches behind him quickly and typed
in his phone. "Oh my god, I'm sorry!" He says and I laugh as I kiss him
lightly.
"You're cute when you're all flustered," I say and he turns a dark red, proving
my statement. I move to get up, but and pulled down as he hands me his phone.
"You don't get to mess with me and get away with it." The note says and I
suddenly feel a new weight on my hips. I look up to see his face just barely
apart from mine. He puts one of his hands in my hair and the other in the back
of my neck, stupidly leaving my hands free. I flip us over so I'm straddling
him and lean down to press my lips to his ears.
"Oh, but you like it when I tease you." I say and bite it, causing him to
shiver. I start to traces his jaw with my lips, making my way to his, one hand
in his hair and the other trailing down his chest.
Once my hand reaches his pants, he grabs my wrist. I look up to see him looking
at me with wide eyes and shaking slightly. Shit, did I take it to far? I press
my forehead to his and he closes his eyes. "I'm sorry, Eren," I say and opens
his eyes and grabs his phone.
"It's not your fault,"he writes in his notes and I come to the realization.
Shit, he was raped not even a week ago. I am an idiot.
"Shit, I'm sorry, I wasn't..." He shuts me up by kissing me. This one is deeper
than the last few as his fingers use my hair to hold my close. He swipes my lip
with his tongue and I open my mouth. His tongue starts fighting with mine
playfully until he traces the back of my teeth.
It isn't until after the kiss we both cringe at the morning breath. He laughs
lightly and pulls out his phone. "It really isn't your fault. I started it. I'm
not gonna break because you tease me a little too much." He writes and moves my
leg as he moves to the bathroom, swinging his hips as he goes, and I can't help
but blatantly stare.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
To Eren- So... what are we?
 
Hanji is breathing down my neck as I send it. Erwin is too, but more
discretely. I told them about this morning and if I hadn't shut Hanji up, this
lunch period would be so much more awkward. I look over to Eren's table and see
him look to his phone. There a look in his eyes I don't like as he types.
 
From Eren- Wait... was that what this morning was about?
 
I look to him questioningly, but he doesn't meet my eyes.
 
To Eren- Yes, I thought it was for you too.
From Eren- It was. I just thought you wouldn't want me after I pushed you away.
 
I look up to Hanji and she looks as confused as I feel.
 
To Eren- Do you seriously think that's what this is all about?
From Eren- It's not for me, but I don't really see another reason for you.
To Eren- Excuse me? Is this about me being a prostitute?
From Eren- No! It's not like that!
To Eren- What is it then?
From Eren- I don't get why you would wait for me.
 
I look up to him to see one of his hands in his hair with his elbow propped on
the table. He looks to his phone and types again.
 
From Eren- You're going to college, you're gonna be a musician, don't you think
you'll end up wanting someone else? I don't want to hold you back.
 
I distantly hear Hanji yell for me as I walk over to his table. "You don't get
it, do you?" I say and all his friends turn to me with questioning looks while
he looks at the ground.
"I'll never be able to move on. You're the only person I've seen myself
spending the rest of my life with. Hell, before I met you, there wasn't a rest
of my life. I wouldn't be able to trust anyone, I wouldn't be going to college,
I wouldn't be able to play in front of people." i can't bring myself to care
about anyone but the boy in front of me. I don't care that I'm making a scene.
He need to know.
"You changed me! Don't you get that? You changed everything for me! Like hell I
won't wait for you! I'll wait the rest of my life if I have to!"
He's looking up to me with tear filled eyes, but with a small smile on his
face. "Eren Jaeger, I'm in love with you. I've always been in love with you.
Since the day you walked into that basement and told me I could trust you. I
did! I do. And I'm so in love you." Before I know it, his lips are on mine.
My lips move on his almost instantly and he tilts his head to the side. I swipe
my tongue on his lip and he opens his mouth for me. My hands fist his hair and
his wrap around my waist. My tongue fights his as he pulls me close, so our
bodies are flushed together.
We break the kiss and I suddenly notice how loud the lunchroom is. There's a
loud cheering. I look around to see the cheering is for us. Eren laughs through
his nose and I turn to him to see him looking down at me so sweetly, I feel as
though I just got a cavity. He holds up one of his hands and puts down his
middle and ring finger. He's saying "I love you".
I feel an obnoxiously large smile grow on my face as I lean my forehead against
his. His eyes are bright blue, like the ocean on a sunny day and I'm just
swimming in them. "God, I love you. It feels so good to say that. I love you,
Eren," I whisper and he smiles and looks down shyly. I put my hand on his cheek
and wipe his tear that fall from happiness this time. He's happy.I swear I
almost start jumping for joy at that.
He bits his lip and grabs my hand and sits down and Historia scoots down for
me, she crying too. "That was the cutest thing I've ever seen." She says and I
hear a sniffle from across the table.
"I know," Jean says as a tear runs down his cheek. Marco laughs and puts his
arm around his boyfriend. I see Armin's shit-eating grin and I can't help but
not care as Eren stares at me with a smile.
I lean in and kiss his nose and those adorable lines on the bridge of his nose
come back for the second time today. I hear an exaggerated gag next to me and
see its Ymir. "Too cute, might puke." She says and leans forward, but I know
that's her way of approval.
There's a slap on my back and I look up to see Hanji and Erwin with the same
grin's as Armin. "Guess what I have recorded!" Hanji says and Eren smiles as I
groan.
"That's just creepy, Hanj," I says and her grin grows at the nickname, knowing
I'm too happy to say anything with actual venom.
Hanji's phone beeps as Eren puts his down with a smirk. "Of course, Little
Eren! Oh my god, it's Little Eren and Little Levi!" She screeches and I roll my
eyes.
"Okay, now you're pushing it," I say and they all laugh.
***** Trial *****
Chapter Notes
     Wow it's been alittle bit. So, first off... THE NEW MANGA CHAPTER<3 I
     don't need to say anymore. Also, sorry for the wait. I started
     writing another story which is now three chapters in, plus I got
     writers block on this one. Sorry:/ So... some shit goes down in this
     chapter. Sorry. You got some happy stuff, but some pretty messed up
     stuff. Sorry about that. But enjoy:)
Levi's POV
 
 
Eren had his days when he would cry for hour, his days he was hyper beyond
belief, and his days where he was a bit off. There wasn't really a normal for
him, it was happy or sad. They said it was progress, but it never seems that
way when he cries.
He's having one of those days now. He skipped class and texted me to meet him
in the library. So here we are, sitting in the isle as he cries into my chest.
I've learned to wait until he wants to talk, but I can guess what this is
about. His trial starts tomorrow.
I stroke his hair as he silently weeps. If I'm being honest, there's only two
reasons he can do this in here, both involving him being mute. Pity and
silence. The worst part is I know he hates both.
He clings to the from of my black v-neck as he lets out a trembling cry. Then
he pauses. He pulls out his phone and types out a message. "What if they don't
believe me?"He types and I take the phone to type back.
"They're going to believe you. They have pictures, your pants, all the stuff at
your house. It's going to be alright." I write and he curls closer.
"I just have a feeling something bad is gonna happen." He says and I nod.
"Me too," I whisper honestly and he looks down. I grab his phone again and type
something else. "It's going to be fine. I can't imagine anymore bad for you," I
say and he smiles weakly.
"I thought the same thing right before I went mute."He says as tears begin
again, but he looks ahead.
"I promise you nothing bad will happen to you if I have any say in it." I type
and he looks up at me.
"I love you," he mouths and I smile.
"I love you too," I mouth back and he pulls out his phone.
"Levi, I want to make love with you." He types and I looks down to see him
blushing deeply.
"Only when you're ready." I type back and he smiles.
"Thank you." He sohms and I can see the relief in him. I takes his phone and
write in his notes.
"I don't want to rush you. I'm not gonna do what Historia did. We dont have to
do it anytime soon. To be honest, we don't have to ever. I don't care as long
as I'm with you. Don't feel like you need to." I write back and lean down to
kiss him lightly. I'm about to pull back when his arms lace around my neck and
pull me closer to him.
He tilts his head and deepens the kiss and my tongue laps at his. He tangles
his hands in my hair as my hands fall to his waist. We separate when we run out
of breath and he looks at me with bright blue eyes, still rimmed with red. It's
his turn to play with my hair as he lays his head on my shoulder.
How did I get so lucky? He has his mood swings and his bad days, but I couldn't
ask for anything better. I'd take every bad day over no days at all. Besides,
if every bad moment ends with him looking at me like this, it's not really bad.
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
"Grisha Jaeger to the stand." Armin's grandpa, who's Eren lawyer, says and my
father walks to the stand. He does the oath before standing and waiting for
questions I don't want to hear the answers of.
I looks back to see Mikasa, Armin, and Levi sitting down. Mikasa and Levi are
both glaring at Grisha and Armin looks over and smiles reassuringly to me. I
turn back and wait for what's needed to be said.
"Grisha Jaeger, have you abused your son in any way?" Mr Arlert says and Grisha
shakes his head. I feel my nails dig into my palms as he looks innocently at
me.
"I have no idea why my son would say such a thing," he says and I already feel
myself holding back tears.
"Have you even hit him?" Mr. Arlert asks and he shakes his head again. "Have
you ever forced Eren into a sexual interaction?" He tries again and this time,
Grisha speaks.
"Why would I do that?" He asked and Mr Arlert walks up to the stand.
"I don't know why, but we have proof you did." He says, but it's pointless.
He's not going to admit it. He doesn't even think it's abuse. You need to be
innocent for it to be abuse. Maybe that's it. I raise my hand and think of the
only thing I can to make him admit. They let me walk up and I write something
to ask Grisha.
"What would mother say?"
I show it to him and he slams his hands on the stand. "What would mother say?
She would say you deserved everything you got. You deserved to be beaten, you
deserved to be raped. She would've been proud I broke your voice. You killed
her after everything she did for you. You're a useless piece of shit and you
should've never been born." He says and I drop my notebook. He did this to
me. I've always known he hated me, but I had no idea just how much of a monster
I was to him.
I look up at him as the guards take him away in handcuffs. I don't know what
anyone says or does after that. I just watch him fight the guards. I stand
there until a guard shows me out and Levi comes and wraps his arms around me.
He doesn't say anything. I wouldn't be able to pay attention. It's not until my
breathing gets hard I realize I'm crying. Oh.I somehow end up in a car. Then to
Ackerman's house. Then the basement.
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
I laid him down on the couch and Armin holds him. None of us have said
anything. I don't know what there is to say. Eren has tears coming out of his
eyes in floods, but his face doesn't change. He's so far gone, I wonder how
long it'll take for him to come back this time. His eyes are a flat green and
he's looking at nothing, but won't stop shaking. It's like he shut down again.
Armin rubs circles in his arm as he tries to make him relax, but it's not
working. Mikasa is shaking from anger and I'm not far behind her. I hate that
man. Armin looks rather uncomfortable with Eren laying right next to his dick,
but I respect that he just continues to rub Eren's shoulder instead of moving
him. I decide to send out a few texts in a group chat to fill everyone in.
 
To Group- Well, Grisha is in jail.
From Horsey- YESSS
From Aang- FUCK YEAH
From Annie- What happened? I thought you'd be happy.
To Group- He said he took Eren's voice away.
From Sash The Hick- Well shit.
From Crazy Hanj- Oh my god.
From Freckles- How is he?
To Group- Exactly how you'd expect.
From Eyebrows- Need help?
To Group- I think he could use the support, though I can't promise he'll even
be able to tell you're there. I think he went into shock again.
From Blonde Bitch- Oh my. Ymir and I will be right over. Your house, right?
From Oluo- I get off work at 8. I'll be there then.
From Petra- How are you three?
To Group- Mikasa is pissed, Armin is sad, and I'm fine. And yeah, my place.
Just come down to the basement. Kenny doesn't give a shit and he has a date.
 
Within the next half hour, everybody but Oluo was here. They all made
themselves cozy and started talking about graduation. It was a few weeks away
and I still haven't found out about UofM and its nerve wracking. It'd be
perfect: only a half an hour away, right in one of the most cultural towns in
Michigan, plus the school itself is perfect.
Erwin was going to Wayne State on a full ride for pre-law, Hanji got into the
nursing program at UofM almost immediately with her GPA and volunteer hours.
Plus she got a 34 on the ACT. Petra is going to MSU to be a vet, which is
actually kind of perfect for her. Eld is taking a few years at OCC before
transferring and Gunther wants to enlist in the Navy.
"I've been thinking I want to teach special needs children," Jean says and
everybody turns to him in shock except Marco.
"I think that's a great idea." He says to his boyfriend and we're all left
confused.
"You, of all people, want to teach disabled people?" Reiner asks and Jean nods
confused.
"I don't see the problem," he says and Connie laughs.
"You have the patience of a five day overdue child in the womb," he says and
everyone laughs, but me. I look at him as his gaze drifts to Eren. He really
cares about him. He looks up and sees me looking at him and smiles shyly at me,
and I smile back, to his surprise.
I look to Eren to see him curl onto Armin. He's not crying anymore, but his
eyes are still gone. I look up to Armin to see him looking at me expectantly.
"Stop staring at your boyfriend and play us something," he says as he tries to
keep the mood light. I'm surprised we've kept it like this for this long.
Historia hands me my guitar and I strum the happiest song I can think off.
 
 
Today I feel like running naked through your street
To get your attention
Whoa-oh-oh
I broke up with my girl so tell me where to meet
Oh, did I mention?
Whoa-oh-oh
 
 
Connie starts singing obnoxiously along with the next part and he can't match
the pitch. I can't say I don't enjoy his odd ways.
 
 
I dream on, dream about you
What can I do to make you feel all right?
Baby I don’t want to see you cry, no-oh
 
 
Everyone else sings along terribly and I wonder how they know this song. It's a
fucking Disney star in a band. But he's a good musician and fucking hot.
 
 
 
I want to see you smile
I want to see you smile
 
 
Dull chorus, but seemingly effective as I look over at Eren to see blue eyes
and a weak, but honest smile on his face. He's still trembling, but he seems
better. The others seem to notice because pretty soon Hanji is running to his
side. "Baby Eren! Don't worry, Mama Hanji is here," she says and he doesn't
even look surprised. One she moves from him, he pulls out his phone before
everyone's phone vibrates.
 
From Eren- I wake up and suddenly hear you guys screaming R5. This is why I
love you.
***** Death *****
Chapter Notes
     PLEASE DON'T FREAK OUT OVER THE TITLE. So hi. I wanna say thank you
     guy for getting me to 4k hits, so thank you so much!!! I love all of
     you guys and your comments make me so happy. To all ya'll who are
     reading my other fic, I'm gonna update either today or tomorrow. So,
     for this chapter... Not gonna lie. It's sad. But it's different.
     So... Enjoy...?
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Levi's POV
 
 
The next day, Mikasa, Armin, Eren, Erwin, Hanji, and I went over to Eren's
house. Eren needed to get some things and go though it and he wanted to get it
over with. I hold his hand as we walk over. The closer we get to the door, the
more he squeezes my hand.
"You okay?" I ask him and he nods, offering a painfully fake smile. I want to
take him back home, but he's determined. He has a brightness to his eyes that
means he's doing this, even if he's venturing into green.
I walk into his house first and it's my turn to squeeze his hand at the sight
of dried blood on the floor. "We're gonna look around," Hanji says while she
and Erwin go into the living room. Eren's face is going pale as he leads me
into the house.
Mikasa, Armin, and I follow him as he walks up the stairs to one of the two
rooms and opens the door. At first glance, it looks like a normal teenaged
boy's room, but then you notice the blood on the bed.
Eren seems more relaxed in here, so I can assume this is his room. He walks
over to his closet and grabs a suitcase before moving to his dresser. He and
Armin only finish packing about a drawer each before Hanji walks in. "Hey,
maybe you should see this," she says to Eren, who shakes his head. He points to
me and I know he wants me to go instead, along with Armin, who he also points
at. Mikasa moves to take Armin's place as we follow Hanji downstairs to a room
in the hallway.
We walk in the room before freezing in place. There's at least ten marijuana
plants by the window and a messy office space in the room. I walk over to see
Erwin looking though files. "I think he was a distributer." He says and I bend
down to look. There's are names on all these files, each showing a creepily
detailed report of each dealer.
I look to Erwin, feeling a sick feeling in my stomach at the look he gives me.
The only people to know about my past are Eren, Kenny, Erwin, because he was my
new student mentor, and Hanji, because she gave me a free STD test. Erwin hands
me a file with a name I haven't seen in ages. Isabel Magnolia. But her name is
crossed out.
I open the file to see a picture of the three of us: Farlan, Isabel, and me. I
hear a gasp behind me from Armin but pay no mind as I look at the picture. Is
that how he knew my street name? We had this picture above our mantle our home.
How did he get it?
My blood ran cold as I rip through the file to find my suspicions confirmed.
There a picture of Isabel and Farlan dead. I drop the file.
"Oh my god." I don't know who says it, but it sounds like more than one person.
All I see is red. Even more of it as I stand up and kick the pots of pot.
"Levi, calm down," Hanji says and steps in front of me. But I can't calm down.
If I thought I hated that man before, I despise him now. He killed Farlan and
Isabel. Next thing I know there's a hole in the walk. "Levi!" Armin says and
grabs both of my arms behind me and shoves me against the wall. "It's okay," he
says and I can't breathe.
Oh my god. What did Grisha do?
Actually, no. I know what he did. Eren and Mikasa both run in in a panic and
Eren looks around and his eyes widen. He walks over to where I was sitting and
looks at the picture. He looks up at me with sorrow in his eyes and walks over,
leaning against the wall I'm pinned on.
He signals for Armin to let go and he does. As soon as his grip leaves my
hands, my weight falls against said wall. Eren catches me with a strength I
forgot he had and holds me up. I can't move, can't do anything. I'm angry, but
I'm not. I'm sad, but I'm not. I wonder if this is what Eren feels like.
I look up to him to see him looking back at me, waiting for the inevitable
reaction. It just hasn't come yet. He picks me up easily and carries me out of
the room and out of the house. The others follow, not wanting to go back. I
know I sure as hell don't want to.
He walks me to my home bridal style and I can't do anything but stare ahead.
Eren's dad... no, Grisha killed them. My mind tries to wrap around this as
Mikasa comes up to Eren.
"I'll take him. You're not supposed to do anything physical." She says and he
shakes his head.
He walks in the house and I realize Kenny is home. "Is everything okay?" He
asks and Erwin begins to answer, but Eren goes and takes me downstairs.
He lays me down on the couch and comes to lay down next to me. He wraps his
arms around my waist and pulls me close. His heart is beating too fast, but it
continues to slow down, so I don't really care.
I hated that man. I thought I hated him as much as there is to hate a man. He
abused the man I love. He killed my brother. Raped and killed my sister. The
little girl that wanted sex to mean something. But got that stolen.
I look up to Eren. He did this to both of them. I grab the front of his shirt
and pull him as close as possible, throwing a leg around him as well. I feel
his chest shake and I look up to see tears running down his cheeks. "I'm
sorry," he mouths to me and I shake my head.
"No. This isn't you. It's him. This is all him." I say and my voice breaks at
the end. Tears roll down my cheeks before I can even try to stop them. But I
don't want to. I want to cry for Isabel and Farlan. For the fact I couldn't
save them.
He pulls me closer as I start to weep into his arms. I cry and cry until sleep
pulls me under to the thought of a pair of narrow eyes that caused all of this.
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
Awhile after Levi falls asleep, Mikasa and Armin come down. "Erwin and Hanji
and talking to Kenny," Mikasa says and sit down. They look as tired as I feel
at the moment.
"Did you know all of this about Levi?" Armin asks and I remove my arms from
Levi and turn to them.
"Yes, I'm sorry,"I sign to them.
"I get it." Mikasa says and Armin nods. While that matter is taken care of,
there's the matter of my boyfriend behind me having to relive the death of his
family. He's still crying in his sleep. That's a bad thing, right?
I turn back to him right before he starts to whimper. Shit, I need to wake him
up. I look over to Mikasa and Armin to see them start to walk over. I start to
shake Levi and it doesn't take much to wake him up. He's always been a light
sleeper.
He looks up at me with wide, terrified, grey eyes and I lay down next to me. He
turns and scoots closer to me before his eye fade to blue and he relaxes. He
looks up to see Mikasa and Armin looking down and smiles weakly at them.
"Sorry," he says and flinches when Mikasa runs her fingers through his hair for
a second before he leans into it.
"Don't be," Armin says and smiles a tired smile that could compete with Levi's.
Levi turns to me and snakes his arms around my neck to pull me close. He
doesn't care that anyone else is here. He's too out of it.
Mikasa and Armin take that as a sign to move, so they sit back down on a love
seat next to the couch. Erwin and Hanji come down too as Levi starts weeping
again. Loudly. I don't blame him. He had finally gotten past it. Grisha's in
jail. And he still managed to hurt Levi.
He's grabbing my shirt, arm, pants, using them all to pull me close. As if I
might disappear. I never took the time to realize how me killing myself
would've hurt Levi. 
He acted like he would've lost something important. Maybe that's what he
thinks. Maybe he was scared of losing someone again. I thought he was lying,
but maybe he needs me as much as I need him.
 
His cries fade into sniffles and his tears dry into a shaking. I wrap my arms
around him and try to keep him steady. He nuzzles into me and I kiss his head
as he drifts off again, pulling me with him.
Chapter End Notes
     Yeah. I'm sorry.
***** Relief *****
Chapter Notes
     I'm sorry it's taken so long to update. I've been uber busy and I hit
     my head so I've been super tired. Sorry about that guys:/
     So, this fic is nearing its end. It's just a few more chapters then
     we're done. Thank you all so much for the support and just
     everything.
     So this chapter is part fluff part kind of smut. It's pretty much a
     happy chapter and it took me way too long to write considering it's
     such a short chapter. Sorry bout that. Enjoy:)
Levi's POV
 
I'm in a dark room. Familiar but dark. My old home. I turn on a light switch
and see two dead bodies that have haunted my mind for year. I look up to see
Grisha, knife in hand, slitting Eren's throat. I with the life fade from his
eyes and he limply drops to the ground. No. Not again. Grisha walks over,
literally stepping on the bodies with a maniacal smile. He stops right in front
of me and looks down at me. "Better wake up, Levi," he says before stabbing me,
effectively waking me up.
I jolt awake to see Eren's wide eyes above me. Something about his presence is
enough to relax me. He looks tired, bags under his eyes profound. He pushes my
sweats bangs out of my face and smiles at me. "It's okay," he mouths to me. I
notice how dark the basement is and that nobody is here. How long was I asleep?
Eren climbs off of me and sits at the the edge of the couch, next to me. He
picks up his mother's guitar and starts playing. I forgot he left that here.
Good thing he did. He's just fingerpicking random stuff, but it sounds good. I
curl myself around him as he plays. It's calming, just having him close as he
plays a soothing melody. I listen to the music soothe me as he sways back and
forth.
I eventually relax from the dream and push it out of my mind. "How did you
sleep?" I ask and he messes up his tab at the question. He sets down the guitar
and pulls me onto his lap.
"Good" he signs and I stare at him incredulously. His eyes are hollowed out and
he's shaking a little, disproving his point . He looks the other way when he
notices that I know he's lying. I reach my hand to his shoulders and pull
myself up to I'm level with him as I sit on his lap, straddling him.
He turns his head to me, blushing as I rest my forehead on his. "Nightmares?" I
ask and he nods, eyes not meeting mine and I'm confused. "Why are you trying to
hide that?" I ask and he moves so he can pull out his phone.
"Because you have a lot of stuff to deal with and you worry too much about my
nightmares." He types and I lean forward and peck his lips.
"I worry because I care, just like you're worrying about me." I say and he
leans forward to kiss me. It's light, but sweet as I wrap my hands around his
neck. I pull back and look into his eyes, putting my head on his.
He's really beautiful. I don't think I'll ever get past that. How can a man be
that pretty and still be such a... well, man? He has such a big heart and I
can't help but love all of it. I tilt my head up and kiss his nose and he hides
his face in his hands. Cute.
He drops his hands to wrap them around my waist as he moves to lay us down.
We're both still shaking, but it's better now. I know he's here and he knows
he's safe. That's all we can hope for, right? I pull him close until our bodies
are flushed and move in and kiss Eren.
This one lasts awhile, slow and lazy, but holding all the emotions we can't
say. It's entrancing, like nothing else matters but right now. And maybe that's
right. All I need is the man in front of me. There's something in me that knows
that's true. Well, almost true. I need closure. And I know Eren does too. But
for right now, I need nothing more than to be in Eren's arms.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
I wake up the next morning to Mikasa poking my arm with a shit eating grin and
an envelope in her hand. I jolt up when I realize what that must be. U of M.
It's a big envelope. That's good, right? She hands it to me and I open as
quickly as I can.
"...you have been admitted to the University of Michigan College of Performing
Arts... Oh my god." I say and Mikasa jumps up and down.
"You got in!" She says but I'm still reading.
"Mikasa. I got a scholarship." I say I shock and she jumps on the couch and
tackles me in a hug.
"I'm so proud of you," she says and I feel something moving from behind me.
Eren peaks his head up in confusion and Mikasa practically shove the paper in
his face. I think she's been hanging out with Hanji too much.
He groggily rubs his eyes as he reads the paper, until he actually realizes
what it says because his eyes widen and he grins widely as he joins Mikasa in
the tackle hug. I can't breathe with all the people on me, but I don't care.
It's a happy breathlessness. Mikasa gets up and starts to walk upstairs.
"We're gonna celebrate. Be ready in two hours," she said and as soon as I hear
her upstairs, Eren smashes our mouths together. I open my mouth and he lets
himself in by licking at my tongue. My hands string themselves in his hair and
I feel my dick twitch as he gasps in my mouth.
I move to straddle him to find something hard poking at my stomach. I break the
kiss and look down to see Eren sporting a large erection that I can't help but
moan as I see. He is long. Like wow, congratulations. It's probably a good inch
longer than mine but I don't really care because I want it in me so badly.
I grind out hips together and Eren throws his head back in a silent moan. He
continues to kiss me, swallowing my moans as we grind like sluts at a
homecoming dance. He moves his kiss to the a spot by the back of my ear as I
press myself down onto Eren. He lightly bites my ear as I pull his hair and he
breaks the kiss to sigh.
His hands slide down to my ass and he uses it to grind us together. I know I'm
gonna come soon, but looking at Eren, so is he. His pupils are blown out and
his lips are brusing and the flush in his skin stretching down to his neck and
I have to wonder how much further it goes. He looks so out of it and I wonder
what he would look like during real sex. he leans forward and sucks on my jaw
and before I know it, my vision turns white.
He cums at the same time and it's probably the hottest thing I've ever seen.
His head falls back with his mouth open in a silent moan, glistening in sweat.
Did we just cum from dry humping? He smiles sheepishly and grabs his phone.
"Congratulations!!!"He says and I smirk.
"Because of the school or because I grinded you to an orgasm?" I say and he
blushes with a shameless smirk.
"Both," he mouths to me.
"Well, I have to change my pants and have to walk past Mikasa now, so thanks,"
I say and he leans forward and pecks my lips, leaving me still a blushing,
pounding-hearted fool. He doesn't let go of me, instead just cuddles up to me.
One of his hands disappear before his phone is being handed to me.
"Seriously Levi, I'm so proud of you." He wrote and I feel myself blush. I look
up to him to see him looking down at me lovingly. God, I don't know how I got
so lucky with him. Despite everything, he still loves me. I must have done
something right to have this man in my arms.
"So, did anyone get that suitcase from yesterday?" I ask and he stiffens before
nodding. I reach up and stroke his cheek and he leans into it. "Well, we need
to get changed or else we'll get a lot of questions later," I say and he
smirks.
"I don't think you realize how loud you were. I think Mika probably heard all
of that." He writes and hands to me. Well fuck.
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
We all met up at the 104th later that day and the pure amount of shit-eating
grins we got as we walked in meant this was gonna be a long night. I sat next
to Levi and Armin on the booth which I soon started to regret. "So, you too
finally did the do?" Armin says and feel the blood rush to my face.
"Shut up Mushroom, Eren's still a virgin." Levi says and I elbow him.
"Ooo, sassy. Trouble in paradise?" Petra says and I shake my head.
"You two are so cute." Marco says and my blush gets worse.
"You all need to shut up before Eren shits his pants over here." Levi says and
I damn well near do after I hear Mikasa speak.
"Or cums his pants." She says and at that point I just hide behind Levi,
sticking my head between him and the booth.
"You know, I'm a little more concerned on the fact Erwin can't walk." Levi says
and my head shoots back up as Armin blushes a deep red. I look to Erwin to see
him blushing pink and glaring at Levi. Well that's new.
"How was it?" Hanji asks and I have to hold back a laugh at her eager face.
Armin squeaks and Erwin turns to her.
"He knows what he's doing." He says and I swear if any more blood goes to
Armin's head, he's gonna pass out.
"We're gonna stop taking about our sex life right now," Armin says, voice
cracking in the process.
"Yeah, we're here to celebrate!" Reiner's says enthusiastically.
"I think this calls for a song," Connie says and Levi groans the sexiest groan
I've ever heard and my blood starta to travel south.
"Fine. Only because I know I'm not gonna hear anyone as shitty as you in
college now." Levi says and Connie puts a hand over his heart.
"Levi, I though what we had was special!" Connie says, feigning hurt.
"Only in your wet dreams." Levi says and the whole table erupts in laughter.
"Yeah yeah, just go have sex with your boyfriend." Connie says as he approaches
the mic. Levi leans closer to me and grab my inner thigh.
"Maybe I will." He says and my blood finishes the race to my dick.
***** Maybe It's Not Over *****
Chapter Notes
     This is a long ass chapter holy shit. Hi guys! So, here's the smut
     you guys wanted! Warning... It probably sucks. There a bit of angst,
     but I have a feeling you guys will be happy with this chapter. Enjoy!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Levi's POV
 
 
As soon as the door was shut, Eren's tongue was in my mouth. You know how
people start out slow with sex? Start with a handjob and build your way up?
That's not how it's going with us. Eren told me he was ready. He wanted to have
sex with me.
That was about five minutes ago and as soon as we both got out of the car, we
knew it was gonna be tonight. Kenny was sleeping over at his boyfriend's house,
Mikasa was at Annie's, and we had the house to ourselves. So as soon as we got
inside, Eren's was practically carrying my upstairs. As much as it makes sense
to do this in the basement, I have a perfectly good bed in my room and I
actually have lube.
Eren fought with my tongue for dominance, which I lost as soon as he grabbed my
ass. His hands slide down my hips until they reached my thighs so he can pick
me up. We make it upstairs, somehow not breaking the kiss, and Eren puts me
down on the bed.
He kisses my jaw and makes his way down until he's nipping at my neck. He
probably shouldn't do that since we have school tomorrow, but I could care less
as his teeth scraps against the skin and his hand snakes down to palm me
through my pants.
I moan loudly as I buck up to his hand. I feel him smirk into my neck as his
hand moves up and lifts my shirt up. Before he even has it off, he's lips trail
to my nipple and he harshly sucks at one. "Mmm," I groan and writhe under him
as he bites down.
He quickly goes to the next one as his hands start to unbutton my jeans. He
shoves them down with my underwear and I kick them off, not caring where they
land. He looks down at my erect cock with such lust that it visibly twitches,
making him smirk.
He reaches down and grabs it, thumbing the head and he moves his kisses down
and places one right on the slit. "F-fuck!" I yell shamelessly as his tongue
trails down to a puckering hole. "Don't... d-don't you need to take off your
clothes too?" I say and he hesitates. He bites his lips shyly, but it's
honestly really hot as I sit up to face him.
"It's fine, Eren." I say as I try to hold back the urge to just rip his clothes
off because, fuck, I really hope this is actually happening. I cup his cheek
with one hand and he gives a small smile. He nods and pulls off his shirt,
revealing all of his scars.
There are slashes on his stomach that lead to his back and his arms trail his
self inflicted scars. As sad as they make me, they in no way lessen just how
attractive the sight is to me. He's Eren, scars and all, and I love him all the
same.
"You're so beautiful," I say as I lean forward and kiss him. I feel his cheeks
heat up as I grab his face and he grabs the small of my back. I wrap my legs
around him, feeling the friction of my cock on his abs and his clothed dick on
my ass. Eren reaches down and takes his pants off, underwear too, leaving us
both laying, naked and making out.
I reach to my nightstand and pull the lube out of the drawer. I have gotten off
so many nights with my fingers and the thought of Eren, and now it's actually
happening. I hand him the lube and he smirks at me before grabbing my legs and
pushing them up.
He settles himself between my legs and pours some lube on his fingers as he
plants open mouthed kisses to the inside of my thighs. He circles my hole with
his wet finger before putting it in, barely even entering but enough to make me
moan loudly. I throw my head back as Eren's tongue makes an appearance as he
pushes it in slowly.
"Eren!" I yell as he pushes it as far in as he can. He thrusts it in and out,
adding a finger in as I squirm beneath him. His tongue leaves as he pushes a
second finger in all the way. "Oh fuck!" I moan as he scizzors me open,
stretching me as far as possible before adding a third one. There's a small
stinging at that, but it's soon forgotten as Eren pushes on something that
turns my vision white.
"Yes, right there!" I scream and grind down on Eren's fingers. The coil in my
stomach tightens as he prods at that spot. Worrying I'll cum too soon, I moan
loudly to him. "Please Eren." He throws his head back as I say his name and he
pulls his fingers out of me. I whimper at the loss until I see Eren grab the
lube. He pours some in his hand before stroking himself.
I groan at the sight of him jerking himself off, making him smirk and continue.
My hand trails down and starts to do the same thing. I try to match my pumps
with his, but I want nothing more than for him to pump into me than his hand.
"Eren, I need you in me." I moan and before I know it, he's crashing he's mouth
on mine.
I wrap my legs around him and grab his large cock to align him to my ass. He
slowly pushes into me, not stopping until he's all the way in. We both throw
our heads back as he bottoms out. He's so big and I'm so full of him, I can't
imagine I'm not insanely tight around his girth.
I grind my hips experimentally and he takes it as a sign. He slowly pulls out
until just the tip is in and pushes back in, but it's not fast enough so I
thrust to meet his hips. "Harder!" I yell and damn does he deliver. He pulls
back out of me before slamming back into me, much faster than before.
"Fuck! Yes!" I scream as he continues to fuck me. He kisses at my neck and I
let out a loud moan as he bites down right as he fills me. It's so fast and so
much, it's overwhelming and I love every second of it. It's not just blind
fucking either as he lightly nips at my ear, obviously holding back, but I
don't want him to hold back.
I meet his next thrust at a surprising pace for both of us and I let out a moan
that would be so embarrassing if I didn't want this so badly. "Don't hold back,
Eren" I moan out and he nods before pulling out of me and slamming into my so
hard, we move back a few inches.
"Yes! Just like that!" I say as he moves my legs above his arms, pounding into
me until he finds a spot where everything goes white. "Right there!" I scream
and he keeps slamming there. He pounds relentlessly, hips stuttering the harder
he goes.
The coil in my stomach tightens, and I feel his cock twitch inside of me as he
looks at me. He pulls out almost all the way before shoving in as hard as he
can and I let out a loud moan as he does so, making my vision white as I'm
overcome with the pleasure. I wonder if I could cum like this, from just being
filled.
I'm staring to think it's possible as he slams into me again, pushing onto that
spot that makes my dick want to explode. "Shit, I'm gonna..." Is all I can say
before he pushes into me one last time and I cum with a scream of his name. He
cums at the same time, filling me with his seed before he pulls out of me.
He goes to my bathroom and brings out a wet washcloth to wipe us down. He takes
off the first blanket and puts it to the side before laying down next to me and
wiping me down. He throws the towel over to where the blanket is and I scoot
closer to him.
"I love you." I say as he turns to me and smiles a sleepy smile. "Too," he
mouths and wraps his arms around my waists. I bring mine around his neck and
kiss his lips lightly. He buries his face in my hair and rubs circles into my
back.
"Shit, we have school tomorrow." I say and he shakes his head. "Skip?" I say
and he nods, making me laugh. Nobody will question him being gone after what
happened on Friday and I don't really care much at this point if I miss. I was
just fucked and I'm not moving until necessary.
I tilt my head and start to nip at his neck, and after a moments he's leaning
into it. We're both too tired for a round two, but I can tell he's enjoying
this as he throws his head back. I'm literally just kissing and lightly biting
at his neck as we cuddle. He's still rubbing my back when I feel something hard
against my leg. I guess I was wrong about him being too tired.
He looks down sheepishly and I move to get up. "You, me, shower, now." I say,
but as soon as I move off of the bed, I drop to the ground as pain shoots up my
legs. Well fuck. Eren walks around to where I am and picks me up off the
ground. Sometime I forget just how manly Eren is until he does something like
this. Or fucks me. Because damn, I can't even walk.
He takes me over to the shower and I'm surprised to see him start to run a
bath. I shoot him a questioning look and he holds up one finger and leaves the
room before coming back with a notepad.
"You really want to try and stand in the shower?" He wrote and I point to his
erect dick. "I'll be fine, I've kind of already had two orgasms today thanks to
you." He writes and blushes as he shows it to me. God, he's cute.
The bath finishes filling and he picks me up and moves me over to it before
setting me lightly in. He gets in behind me and I take his arms and wrap them
around me, tracing some of the scars. He eventually, umm, calms down, and then
moves up so our bodies are flushed. That's honestly a stupid idea consider he
just got his dick to fall, but he seems fine as he leans up and kisses my ear.
I turn my head to his and capture is lips on mine. It's a slow kiss, I think
anything fast would set off his dick again. I have to hold back a laugh at
that. God, when did he get so horny? I guess today. I tilt my head further to
deepen the kiss. I pull back just to breath in the humid room.
When I turn back around to continue, he's getting up to dry himself off. I send
him a questioning look and he sends me a sad smile before coming and picking me
up. Did I miss something?He sets me down on the bed before going back to the
bathroom.
I hear the bath being drained as he walks over with his notepad. He sets it
down on the nightstand and lays down next to me. He reached up to rub my
shoulder as I lean my forehead on his. "You okay?" I ask and he nods, but
something feels off. "Was it the sex?" I ask and he reached back to get his
notebook.
"Hell no. That was great."He writes and I smile, but my question is still
unanswered.
"Talk to me." I say and he looks down before grabbing his pen.
"That's the problem. I can't."He writes and I look to him.
"Eren..." I say and he shakes his head.
"Levi, I've never told you I love you. That really sucks. I have to sign it or
write it, but I can't say it. I can't say anything for any major things that
happen to me anymore, and a lot of major things have happened to me. I just
wish this part was easier."He writes and I nod.
"Did you ever look up to see if there's a cure?" I ask and he shakes his head.
"I thought that they'd tell me if there was, but I'm not too sure anymore." He
says and I nod.
"Go get my laptop." I say and he sends me a confused look before getting it
anyway. He brings it over and I pull up a webpage. "What's your email?" I ask
and he takes the computer and types in 'gmail'. He types in his username and
password and I take the computer.
I type in the doctor's name and hospital and sure enough, I find her email.
Eren copies and pastes it and I lay on my back as he writes out the email. It
did seem kind of odd that it was irreversible. Maybe there's a chance that
something will work. Eren pokes my shoulder and shows me the email.
 
Dr. Grey,
I'm emailing you to ask what treatment is available for me. I'm aware you've
already treated me, but I assume you talked to my father about said treatment.
As you are now aware, my best interest was not his intention. I would like to
know what else may be done so that, if possible, I may be able to speak again.
Thank you,
Eren Jaeger
 
"Great." I say and he smiles to me. He clicks sends and shuts the laptop. He
puts it to the side with his notebook before wrapping his arms around me and
pulling me close.
He holds me close as I get us under the thin blanket that's left. I wrap my
arms around his neck and we hold each other until we both fall into dreamless
sleeps.
Chapter End Notes
     I feel so awkward about posting smut, not gonna lie:/
***** Get Back *****
Chapter Notes
     I've really gotten bad at updates. Sorry about that. I'm really far
     in my other fic, but I need to write a a few chapter to get to that
     point. Pretty much, my writing is kind of all over the place, so
     thank you for being patient. So, here's the chapter! Enjoy!
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Levi's POV
 
 
I woke up with a pillow to the face. "What the fuck, Eren!" I said before my
eyes fell on him. He was laying in my bed. On my computer. Naked. I've never
been one for morning wood, but if I wake up to this every morning, I might
start.
He has a big smile on his face as he points to the computer. I scoot closer to
him and read the email that was pulled up.
 
Dear Eren,
I'm emailing in regards to your question from before. I'm glad to say that
there is a procedure that is in the experimental phase that has only proven to
be successful. We could make you artificial vocal cords and adjust them for you
to both talk and eat. There are a few side effects with it, like you can't eat
or drink too quickly and you're prone to pneumonia, but you would by able to
speak again. Your father told me to do the other since it was the faster
treatment. I'm sorry I haven't contacted you sooner about this. Come in today @
6pm if you're interested.
Thank you,
Rose Grey PhD.
 
"Oh my gosh, that's awesome Eren!" I say and turn to him to see him grinning
like I haven't seen in awhile. He leans forward and pecks his lips on mine, but
long enough to leave his taste with a small bit of morning breath. He picks up
his notepad and scribbles something down before handing it to me.
"Can you take me after soccer? I needed to work with Jean anyway."He writes.
"You're working with Jean again?" I ask and he nods.
"Yeah. I figure I can kick a ball as long as I don't hit myself or fall." He
says and I nod too. "You're not jealous, are you?"He writes and I roll my eyes.
"I didn't think you were one to fuck and run, but okay," I say and he laughs
through his nose before move on top of me and straddling me.
"I'm staying right here." He signs and leans down and kisses me.
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
"I swear to god Jean, if you would just get you thumb out of your ass and
fucking listen to me, you could do this."I was so done with his shit. It's
honestly not as hard as he's making it.
"Fuck off Jaeger, I'm trying here." He neighs and rolls the ball back to my
feet. He gets back into position and I kick it next to him, but he still
doesn't fall right.
"Fuck this. I'm gonna show you how to do this."I write and his eyes widen.
"Eren, maybe that's not a..." He shuts up when I flick him off. It's been four
weeks, I think I'll be fine as long as I don't hit my neck. I get into position
and he hesitates before kicking it lightly to me. I slide to my side and grab
it, being careful of my neck yet at the same time not caring at all. I'm not
gonna fucking break. I catch the ball in my hands and stand up, wiping the dirt
off my legs.
I know it's weird, but I really missed my soccer shorts. It's getting really
hot outside and it's nice to have a excuse to wear almost nothing. Plus Levi
has been been staring at my legs all day. Yeah, I have good legs and yes, I'll
admit it. Plus today I'm finally wearing a short sleeved shirt, leaving my
scars open. I guess I really have nothing to hide anymore. It's nice for a
change.
I get up, ball at my hip, and walk over to where Jean is gaping at me. I pick
up Pixis' white board and write with a smirk."Yeah, I still got it. If I can
still do it, so can you. Now go do what I did. Right now."He nods and runs back
to his place at goal, obviously intimidated. Good. Cause this is still my
position, even if I still have to wait two more weeks.
I'll be back for the last game of the season, plus the two practices before
that. There are recruiters coming to the game and it's mt last chance before
the fall to get noticed. I talked to Pixis to work it all out and he's excited
to have me back.
I kick the ball to him and he flattens out, but doesn't get his arms out in
time. I shake my head smiling as I open the white board marker. "So close."I
write and he smiles tiredly as I tuck the marker behind my ear.
"At least we have the rest of practice," Jean says and I nod as he rolls the
ball to me. Pixis made them scrimmage first thing today and left the rest of
practice for drills and games. We have a game against the catholic school in
town. They call themselves the Saints, be we call them the Cult.
I kick the ball over to Jean and he dives near perfectly. I give him a thumbs
up and he rolls me the ball as he smile, which suddenly turns to a shit-eating
grin. I shoot him a questioning look before I suddenly feel someone tug on my
hair and a warmth encase my mouth.
I look to see Levi practically smirking through his eyes as he breaks the kiss
and runs away with no explanation. I look to Jean to see him smirk. "Don't
think the whole team hasn't noticed his limp." He says and my face heats up. I
flick him off and kick the ball as hard as I can into his gut, making him lose
wind and fall down. Yup. I definitely still got it.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
I ended up going to the doctor's with Armin. I had told, well written, him what
was going on and he insisted he drive me which I was kind of happy about. As
much as I love Levi, I missed my best friend. He's sitting with me in the
waiting room as we await my doctor. We were texting as we waited since waiting
rooms are always scarily quiet.
 
From Armin- Seriously though! What was he like? We're best friends, you can't
not tell me this stuff.
To Armin- FINE. He was really loud. Like, remember when I walked in on you
watching porn? That loud.
From Armin- Woah. That's kind of hot.
To Armin- I know! He was really sweet too. I was kind of nervous because of the
scars and all that.
From Armin- I have to ask... what other scars do you have?
To Armin- To say the least, I'm never gonna be into s&m.
From Armin- ...Shit dude
To Armin- The scars look way more painful than they were. The whole, you know,
"rape" thing was the most painful.
From Armin- Do you think you'd ever want to bottom?
To Armin- Oh yeah! Dude, I want Levi to top, no doubt, but it would have to be
really gentle. I just don't know since he's probably used to it hard.
From Armin- Yeah, I could see that. But it was enjoyable, right?
To Armin- Ar? I came twice yesterday. In my whole life, I've came three times.
What do you think?
 
"Eren Jaeger?" I hear the nurse say and I shove my phone in my pocket, trying
to prevent the blush from coming to my face. I stand up and walk over to see
the young man smile. Armin and I follow him to a room. He asks the basic
questions before leaving to get Dr. Grey.
"You nervous?" Armin asks and I nod. I didn't even know it was possible until
today. I might talk again. Something about that makes me scared that that's
gonna change again. Dr. Grey comes in and smiles sheepishly at me.
"I'm sorry, Eren, but I have to make this short." She says and I nod to her.
Smiling, she continues. "As soon as your healing period is over, we can start.
Basically, we're adding tissue and injecting it with a gel that replaces the
muscles that make up the vocal cords. We can start as soon or as late as you
want once you've hit six weeks on your tracheotomy." She says and I pick up my
pen.
"So I can definitely do this?"I write and she nods.
"Yes, free of charge to because of the... inconvenience." She says and I can't
help but be relieved that Hannes doesn't have to pay. "If it's okay, I have to
go. If you go to the front desk, you can schedule the procedure. Have a nice
day." She says before waving and leaving. I turn to Armin and throw my arms
around him.
I'll be able to talk again. Holy shit. Armin giggles before returning the
embrace. "I'm glad you're happy, Eren." He says and he's right. I'm happy.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
Mikasa met us at Armin's house, so here we are in his room, on the floor, heads
on each others laps. "It's been so long since we've done this." Mikasa says and
I nod on her stomach.
"It seems like so much is different." Armin says and I pick up my notebook.
"But it's really not. If anything, it's getting better."I write and they both
smile.
"I'm just glad you're safe now." Mikasa says and plays with my hair. "Oh, by
the way," she says before smacking me upside the head. I turn to her in
exasperation and she looks back with the most serious face I've seen in awhile.
"I swear, if you ever hide anything like that again, I will not hesitate to
kick your ass." She says and I smile sheepishly at her.
"I won't." I sign and she smiles before laying back down and running her finger
along my head again.
"So, what up with you and Annie?" Armin asks and Mikasa's stomach warms up.
"Well... to say the least, I'm the first here to lose their virginity." She
says and my jaw drops.
"Go Mika," Armin says and I breath out a laugh.
"Maybe a little has changed."I write and they laugh.
"I guess we kind of grew up. Plus got laid." Mikasa says and I nod again. We
continued talking just like old times until we all fall asleep in each others
arms.
Chapter End Notes
     I don't mean for Eren to talk lightly about his rape. It's more
     because he knows how Armin feels bad for not helping and doesn't want
     to make it worse. Sorry if that offends anyone.
***** Dream *****
Chapter Notes
     So, I'm freaking out because YOU GUYS GOT ME TO 5K HITS!!! Thank you
     all sooooooooooo much, it means the world to me. Like wow. Anyway, so
     here's the chapter! So, this chapter has a few trigger warnings: bad
     dreams, cutting, stitches, self hate. Yup. Sorry about that. So, it's
     kind of long, but hey, it works. Enjoy!
Eren's POV
 
 
I woke up in a jolt. I was lucky I didn't wake up Armin and Mikasa, but I was
shaking frantically. Shit, that felt so real. My neck is tingling from where
Grisha had grabbed in the dream. I feel filthy. Like he's essence is on me. I
climb over Armin and Mikasa and go to Armin's bathroom, not caring what time it
is.
I turn on the shower and quickly strip off my clothes. I get in when its
scalding hot and grab the soap. The burning water mixed with the burn of
scrubbing is enough wake me up, but I still feel awful. Pitiful. Filthy. I
start scrubbing at my hips instinctually, not stopping until I see a familiar
Crimson that finally tells me I'm clean. Well, clean there.
It just doesn't feel right. There's an overwhelming sense of just flat out
emotional pain ripping through my core. Before I know what I'm doing, I use
Armin's razor and cut a strips from my wrist to my elbow. It hurts like a
bitch, but it's a new pain to take me out of my slump.
I watch as it starts to bleed and move to sit on the floor. The blood circles
the drain and I turn off the water. I just pull my knees to my chest and sit
there, the warm liquid coming from my arm and hip. I sit there until someone
suddenly pulls back the curtain and steps into the shower.
Armin crouches down in front of me and lightly takes my arm, looking at the
cut. He sighs before taking me by my armpits and pulling me up. He looks
concerned, yet composed as he pulls me up. He grabs a towel and wraps me in it
before sitting me on the toilet. He puts ointment on my wounds and wraps them
enough to help close them. He dresses me as I sit, lost in my mind.
Eventually, after I'm dressed, Mikasa comes in with a sad smile and asks if I'm
okay. On instinct, I say I'm okay, but I feel so far from it. Armin gives me
one of his cardigans to wear so I have something to cover my arms and then we
all get ready for school. It's so normal, yet so not. I haven't felt this awful
in awhile.
I brush my teeth and get ready for the day, text Hannes to check in, and go
downstairs to sit on Armin's couch. I have all of my stuff packed up and I'm
going home tonight. Hannes said if I wanted to, I could have people over. I can
tell he's trying hard, but it does help to have people with me sometimes.
I have a feeling tonight might be one of those nights as I hear a voice stuck
in the back of my mind. "Useless." "Pitiful." "Nothing." I just want it to
stop, but it won't. I feel a strong pair of arms wrap around me and I look up
to see Mikasa, hugging. She doesn't say anything, just sits with her arms
around my waist, careful to avoid my hips. I lean my head in hers and we sit
there until Armin comes down. We get breakfast and leave in silence.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
I start bleeding through the cardigan during civics. I was sitting there when I
was the red deep through the blue. Well shit. I stupidly raise my bad arm to
ask to be excused and the looks I get are pretty interesting to say the least.
The teacher let me leave with no hesitation.
I leave, feeling a medley of shocked and concerned looks at my back, and go to
the bathroom. I pull off the cardigan when I get there to see the blood seeping
through my bandages. I take them off and examine the cut to see its a bit worse
that I thought before.
The sides of it are sticking out and white while there's still quite a lot of
blood pouring from it. Shit, what do I do now? Wait, doesn't Hanji have free
period?I pull my phone out and shoot her a text and pretty soon, I have a
reply.
 
 
To Hanj<3:)***- I need you're medical expertise.
From Hanj<3:)***- Sure! Wait. Should I be worried?
To Hanj<3:)***- Can you just meet me the nurses office?
From Hanj<3:)***- Okiday.
 
I grab some paper towels for my arm and walk to the nurses hallway. It's like
halfway across the school, so I get even more weird looks as I walk with bloody
paper towels and a bloody cardigan. I really hope Armin isn't too pissed about
the sweater.
I meet Hanji and am surprised to see that Erwin is with her. I really only
wanted to deal with one person. He waves until he sees what's probably the red
staining the towel already. She lets me into the nurses office and I sit up on
the bed.
"Okay, so can I see your arm?" She says and I extend my arm out to her. She
pulls of the towel and makes a face at it that says nothing but "oh shit".
"Yeah, you're gonna need stitches. I have the stuff around here." She says and
moves the the cabinets.
"Gosh, I haven't had to do this since your first fight with Jean." She says
with a laugh, obviously trying to lighten the tension. Erwin is openly staring
at my arm, face impassive and I get a little nervous when he looks up and opens
his mouth.
"So, how did this happen?" He asks and gets a notepad and puts it down by my
right hand with a pen.
"Shaving accident." I say and I hear an unconvinced hum. Hanji comes back over
with disinfecting stuff and a needle with medical thread.
"I'm gonna head out." Erwin says and Hanji waves before coming over to me. She
washes my arm off throughly before threading the needle.
"So, Eren... some shaving accident," Hanji says and I look away. "I'm not that
oblivious, this is your worst in awhile: and longest. What's up?" She says and
I cringe, but try to stay relaxed as she pushes the needle in and I write to
her.
"I had this nightmare, worse than its been in awhile. I just woke up in a panic
and well, that happened. Plus my hip is raw right now." I say and she nods.
"Have you told Levi?" She asks and I sigh.
"I've been purposefully avoiding him. I think Armin told him and I'm scared to
see his reaction. He just worries about me a lot. It's like he wants me to just
be okay and I am okay, I'm just not good, or even fine for that matter."I write
and she hums.
"I get it. We all want you to get better, but it's stupid to think you're just
all of the sudden recovered. You had a relapse, it happens, but he does need to
know." She says and it's moments like this I really appreciate Hanji. She can
be wise, but not too heavy at the same time.
"I guess you're right."I write and she nods.
"Of course I am, hun. Now let me finish then I'm taking you out for ice cream
with Mama Hanj!" She says and I look to her before scribbling another note.
"I have class though." I say and she laughs.
"Now, would you rather go to classes and learn nothing or get ice cream? I
really doubt they'd get that mad at you." She says and I nod. It was surprising
how much teachers were willing to help me. I have all a's and b's, despite
never going to classes. I hated that it was a pity act, but moments like this,
I couldn't help but be grateful.
She finishes up surprisingly quickly for such a long cut and smiles at her
work. "Some of my finest work." She says and I can't help but smile with her.
It's nice to have a friend like Hanji.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
It wasn't until I was in the locker room before practice that I was worried. I
was changing with Jean thanks to my early free periods I had just taken off my
shirt when he suddenly swore. "Holy shit!" He says and I turned to see him
staring at me with wide eyes. Oh right, he's never seen me without a shirt.
He takes a step closer to me and walks around me, taking in my torso. Then he
takes a step back and just looks at me for a minute and I start to feel
uncomfortable. I feel a heat rise to my cheeks before his eyes widen and he
stutters.
"Shit, I'm sorry. I just... didn't know it was... well, that bad." He says and
I smile uncomfortably and nod.
"Um, what's up with the arm?" He says and I shrug nervously, but he seems to
get it. "Oh." He says and I pull a shirt out, inwardly swearing the fact it's
short sleeve.
I pull on the green shirt before changing into my black soccer pants. Grabbing
my cleats, I go outside with Jean and plop down on the grass to put my shoes
on. As much as I love the feeling of grass under my feet, I really just want to
play.
I get my stuff on as quickly as possible before grabbing one of the balls Jean
brought out. I start to dribble it, just moving across the field. I try to stay
at a slow pace, but I really just want to run. The early summer heat warms me
as I kick the ball into the net. Jean gets to the net and rolls it to me and we
start him up. I kick it into his chest over and over again, warming him up for
actual work. We fall into a rhythm that isn't broken until I see Levi come out.
I think Jean notices my hesitation, because he smile at me and claps his hands
together. "Best you got, Jaeger?" He says and that alone fires me up. Challenge
accepted. I kick them as hard as I can at him, changing the angles. He can't
get all of them since I'm hitting his weak points, but hey, I'm here to train
him and this is how you learn.
I do this until on one of the times, I go to kick it and fall. It's not a
pretty fall either, my ungracefulness kicking in as I lamd on my back. It
doesn't really hurt at all, actually, I'm laughing on the ground. Jean runs up
to me and looks worried until he sees me laughing.
"Holy shit, you scared me, you asshole." He says, laughter breaking into his
voice. I sign to him, calling him a Horseface and he laughs even harder. He
offers a hand to me and I take it with my good arm. He pulls me to my feet, but
I have to lean on him as I laugh. It's an ugly laugh that consists of heavy
breathing and snorts, making Jean laugh all the more.
I look up to see half the team staring at us like we have penises on our
forehead. Probably because we're actually getting along in a nonaggressive way.
We both finally calm down and head over to Pixis, who tells the two of us what
time the other team is gonna get there so we can meet in the locker room.
I'm heading back over to the net when someone grabs my bad arm. I look to see a
painfully worried Levi observing my stitches. He looks at the black line going
up my arm with a frown on his face. I pull it from him and he looks up at me,
looking hurt. I probably shouldn't have avoided him today.
"Are you okay?" He asks and picks up Pixis' whiteboard from the bench.
"Yeah, I'm okay." I write and he looks unconvinced, but we have to warm up, so
he just says "we need to talk" before he leaves. Well shit.
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
I go to Eren's house after the game. The car ride is rather quiet, despite the
win. We both decide to skip going out with the team for the night. We're laying
down in his bed, both holding our phones as he explains what happened.
 
 
To Eren- Eren, why didn't you just tell me that?
From Eren- I don't know. I mean, I wasn't too happy with myself to begin with,
plus you worry about me too much.
 
 
I read what he sends as he looks down. I put a hand on his cheek and peck his
lips. "Eren, I'm always going to worry. It's not a bad thing. I worry about you
just like I worry about everyone I love. I don't want you to feel like you need
to hide this stuff from me, okay?" I say and he opens his phone again.
 
 
From Eren- Levi?
To Eren- Yeah?
From Eren- I think I need to see him.
 
 
I look up to him to see his blue eyes wide, nervous looking and scared.
 
To Eren- Was he in your dream?
From Eren- Yeah. I just want to see him behind bars. I need to know he's never
getting out.
To Eren- I think that's a good idea.
 
I click send before typing an extra message.
 
To Eren- I'm coming with you.
 
He look up at me in shock, but as he sees my face, it settles into
understanding. I need to face the man who killed my brother and sister. The man
who hurt the man I love. Eren types again and my phone vibrates in my hand.
 
From Eren- Shit, that just got heavy.
To Eren- Yeah, it did.
From Eren- You know, Hannes works really late tonight.
 
Eren is smirking seductively and my dick responds much too quickly for my
likings. "You seriously want to have sex after we talk about that?" I say and
he picks up his phone.
 
From Eren- Do you know how hard it was to stay away from you today?
 
Well, I guess I can't argue with that. I toss my phone to the side and move on
top on him. "God, I love you." I say with a honest smile before leaning down
and capturing his lips with mine. Wow, I'm lucky.
***** Invitation *****
Chapter Notes
     Hey guys! I decided after last week, it was time for a short, fluff
     chapter! Yay! That's basically it. Thank ya'll and enjoy!
Levi's POV
 
 
It was within the next week I started panicking. Graduation was in a week. I
wasn't even that nervous for that. It was the fact I hadn't asked Eren to prom
and it's two days after graduation. I'm an idiot.
I realized how stupid I was when Moblit publicly asked Hanji to prom. It was
cute and she answered by kissing him and he fainted. But hey, he has a
girlfriend now. But here I am, not having asked Eren to prom.
I'm not one to go crazy about prom, but I am kind of leaving next year. Eren
and I were walking downtown when I decided to bring it up. "So, prom is in two
weeks." I say, trying to be casual about it. Eren nods absentmindedly, not
really listening. Crap, that's real helpful.
"Got any plans for..." I start before he pulls his hand out of mine and walks
toward the rail of a bridge. He leans down and I go over to see him looking at
a duck with a face of disgust.
"Hate birds that much?" I ask and he nods and pulls out his notebook.
"A goose once bit my ass when my mom and I were feeding ducks."He writes and I
smile at his appalled look.
"So, as I was saying..." I say and he walks away again. I stand and look after
him and laugh. That little shit is playing hard to get. I pull out my phone and
text my craziest people for the job.
 
To Group- I need to ask Eren to prom.
 
It's not even a minute until I feel my butt vibrate as I catch up with Eren and
grab his hand. I don't look at it until we get to my truck.
 
From Hanj- YOU SERIOUSLY FORGOT UNTIL NOW?
From Eyebrows- ...No words, Levi. No words.
 
I sigh and look over to Eren, who's smiling into his own conversation. Probably
Armin. Half of the time I feel like I'm a side hoe in their relationship. I
shoot a text back and start the car.
 
To Group- I just need your help. I think he's a little upset about it.
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
I'm not gonna lie, I was a little upset Levi hadn't asked me to prom yet. He
wanted to bring it up casually after making my wait this long. Erwin asked
Armin after they were together for a week. Mikasa asked Annie before they even
started dating!
I'm not a huge fan of prom, but I kind of wanted to make it memorable if you
catch my drift. Levi's going to college and to be honest, that's probably the
only reason I want this as badly as I do.
So when he started to ask me like it was no big deal, of course I ignored him.
Was it bitchy? Yes. Yes it was. But I'm sorry, I wanted a proper asking, thank
you very much. I was texting Armin and Mikasa in the car.
I had told them that Levi hadn't asked me last week when we stayed at Armin's
house. They were both surprised by this. And kind of pissed. So naturally, they
encouraged me to play around with this. So here I am, laughing at their
reactions.
 
From Armin- YASSSSSSSS
From Mika- I'm seriously laughing so hard. I think Jean is confused.
To Group- Why the hell are you with Horseface?
From Mika- Double date. Kind of regretting it, but if Jean left, I'd be fine
with just Marco.
From Armin- He is cuter.
To Group- Word.
From Mika- Oh my god. You're never going to say that again. Please, I beg.
To Group- TRY MY BITCH
From Mika- I think you meant to say me* cause I'm not trying Levi. He's my
brother and that's weird.
From Armin- XD
To Group- I'm done. Oh my god.
 
At this point, Levi is shooting me confused looks, so I decide to distract him
just a little. I move to the middle seat and start kissing his neck as he
drives us home. He jumps a little, then starts leaning into it as my teeth
scrap at his neck.
I put my hand on his thigh and I can already feel the fabric start to tent. I
smirk into his neck as I realize it. I guess he's horny. Too bad we're meeting
up with Armin and Erwin right now.
I start to palm at his dick and I'm surprised he's driving straight. As soon as
we pull into Armin's driveway, Levi turns to me and kisses me full on. Luckily,
I'm in my right mind, so I pull way before it gets to far.
Levi looks frustrated and confused as I sway my hips as I walk to the door, but
that doesn't stop him from staring and grabbing my ass. It's funny since Erwin
answers the door and sees Levi's hard on almost immediately. Then laughs and
high fives me.
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
What a little shit. He just blue balled me! I don't even remember anything from
that get together except jerking off in Armin's bathroom. Erwin came over to my
house and when we got there, Hanji was already there on the couch.
"Oh my god, how did you get in?" I ask and she rolls her eyes.
"Give me some credit. I know where you keep the spare key." She says and flips
through the channels.
"Of course," Erwin laughs and I pinch the bridge of nose.
"So, we need to music, then a planning sesh." Hanji says as she flips to some
music channel. Some stupid pop song I've never heard comes on and my two idiots
start singing to it. Good lord.
"Okay, I seriously need help here." I say and Erwin gets his serious face on.
"So what do you have in mind?" I asks and I groan.
"I have no ideas!" I say and he nods.
"Well, how about you sing to him?" He suggests and I shake me head.
"That's too cliche, and that's coming from me." I say and he smirks.
"Okay, well, how about something... I don't know. You two are really private
for the most part." Erwin says and I nod.
"I like it that way." I say and Erwin chuckles.
"What about something soccer related?" Hanji says and I turn to her. That's not
a bad ideas actually.
"That gives me an idea."
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
I so didn't see it coming. I mean, I knew he'd be weird, but this was past my
expectations. I was getting ready with Jean who was taking forever today. He
kept saying how he just needed to get this or he forgot that. Gotta love the
idiot Horseface.
So we finally got outside to the field and I saw Levi up on the field early,
just kicking around. I walked up to the field and he ran over as he saw me. He
pulled me to the middle of the field and showed me the five set up soccer balls
spelling out "P-R-O-M-?". He looks over to me and smirks.
"Well, I finally got the balls so ask you to prom." He said and I now here I
am, leaning over and dying of laughter. I breathe and snort and make obnoxious
sounds through my nose as I laugh at his stupid pun.
He had a shit-eating grin as he holds a finger up and runs to the bench, coming
back with two extra soccer balls, one saying yes, the other saying no and set
them in front of me in range of the goal.
I'm still laughing, not quite as hard as I go up and kick the one that says
"yes", falling in the process. Levi catches me and I grip his shirt, still
laughing. He's even chuckling a bit too as he leans down and pecks my lips.
One peck turns to two and two turns to tongue and Opps, now we're making out in
the middle of the soccer field. His tongue explores my mouth as I use his
shoulders to pull him closer.
"Hey, Jaeger! What the hell?" Jean says and I feel one of Levi's hand move from
my back and I look up to see him flicking Jean off, making me giggle. Well, I
guess I'm going to prom.
***** Future *****
Chapter Notes
     HOLY SHIT IM SO SORRY. I'm terrible at updating. Well, it's actually
     only been ten day, but that's a long time for me. I kind of had a
     half writers block, half I found this scene boring but important so I
     made it short, with a dash of exhausted from sudden stress and panic
     attacks and just no motivation at all, all week. I'm gonna double
     post today and probably double post on my other fic. That one is
     about to pick up its pace a lot since I have a lot of the past
     prewritten and quite a bit of present. Ya'll should go see that
     because I like write a less angry fic.
     Anyway, THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH OH MY GOD. You guys have not only
     gotten my to 6,000 hits since the last chapter, you got me to 6,500
     something hits! Like, that's seriously so crazy! I didn't think I
     would even get 2,000, so you guys are amazing and I love you all.
     So I wanted to address something. I think I have about five or so
     chapters left and dont worry, they'll all be longer than this one
     because this one is really short. I have most of the rest planned
     out. Thank you all for sticking with me through my lack of motivation
     to over motivation swings and my sudden plot twists! It seriously
     means the world to me:)
     Okay, so here's a short chapter and you'll probably get another one
     later tonight! Enjoy:)
Levi's POV
 
 
The thing is about this soccer game is that it's right before everything.
Graduation is Tuesday and prom is next Saturday. Plus this game has so many
scouts coming. It was the championships and I could tell Eren was beyond
nervous. He hadn't been able to practice a lot, but he was still acting as
captain.
He leads the line to the field and I can see him shaking a bit. Just before we
leave to go back out on the field, I grab his jersey and pull him in for a
light kiss.
"You're gonna do great." I say and he blushes before his face turns to that
determined look I love so much.
"Come on, lover boys!" Reiner yells to us and Eren turns red as a rose. I yell/
count to three and we leave the locker room. The song that's on is probably the
most fucking stupid song they could put on and I have to hold it together as
Eren and split as we run around the field because he's dancing and mouthing the
words and it's too funny not to laugh.
 
I got a lot to say to you
Yeah, I got a lot to say
I noticed your eyes are always glued to me
Keeping them here
And it makes no sense at all
 
By the time we meet in the middle for stretches, he's working on the second
verse and I can tell he's trying to turn me on as he sings with hooded eyes and
damn it all, it's working.
 
If you want to play it like a game
Well, come on, come on, let's play
Cause I'd rather waste my life pretending
Than have to forget you for one whole minute
 
Needless to say, we finished stretching as soon as we could. I had hated having
to warm Jean up while Eren just sat there, so I wasn't gonna waste a minute of
time with him. This was my last game after all. He starts mouthing the words
and dancing, rolling his hips in a way I know he learned from experience.
 
Rock and roll, baby
Don't you know that we're all alone now?
I need something to sing about
Rock and roll, hey
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now?
I need something to sing about
Rock and roll, hey
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now?
Give me something to sing about
 
I decide right then we're having sex tonight. It was never really a question,
but now I have no doubt in my answer. I start kicking the ball to him as he
falls to catch it. It still worries me every time he flops on the ground, but I
know he'll be okay. I just need to stop being overprotective. He's doing fine.
He'll be fine doing this.
The song changes and I find myself wondering what the announcers are thinking
as they play warmup music, but lip sync regardless.
 
Hey baby won't you look my way,
I could be your new addiction
Hey baby what you got to say,
All you're giving me is fiction
I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time
I find out that Everybody talks
 
I don't dance as much as normal since I'm really trying to warm Eren up, but
from the look on his face, I'm warming him up in more ways than one.
Hey honey you could be my drug
You could be my new prescription
Too much, get me an overdose
All this stress talk make me itching
On my mouth yeah
Everybody talks
Too much
 
Eren and I finish that part of warmup and move on to the team part. Eventually,
we go in and get ready for the game itself to start. The first half is hard,
them getting ahead by one, but we made a comeback in the second half. Eren
stopped probably about fifteen goals, if not, more. The game itself wasn't the
most eventful part of the day. It was what happens after.
I was walking to my car with Eren when he got approached by a man in a blue
polo. "Hello, Eren Jaeger?" The man says and Eren nods.
"I'm the head soccer coach from U of M, Ann Arbor. I wanted to get you contact
information for possible recruitment if that's okay with you?" He says and Eren
nods vigorously and turned to me with a wide smile. Holy shit, he might get
recruited by the same school I'm going to.
"Could you please tell me your phone number?" The man says and Eren's face
turns into nervousness. He turns to me for help and I look to the man.
"Sir, I'm sorry, but Eren is... um... possibly temporarily mute." I say and the
man's eyes widen.
"Oh my. Are you the son of Grisha Jaeger?" The man says and Eren stiffens. He
signs what he wants to to say to him.
"By blood, yes, but that's it." I say, finding myself rather proud of his
response.
"Okay, well, I'd still like your contact information as well as maybe meet with
you later to discuss your situation. Do you mind if I ask why you say "possible
temporarily"?" He asks and Eren nods to me.
"He's having an experimental surgery next week." I say and Eren tenses at the
words. I grab his hand and the man seems to notice.
"May I ask your relation with Mr... Eren?" The man says and I glare at the man
while squeezing Eren's hand.
"He's my boyfriend. I hope that isn't a problem." I say, hoping I'm not digging
myself a grave for two. The man look to Eren and I with a smile.
"No, that isn't a problem at all." He says and I can tell he's being genuine.
Eren gave the man his information and he leaves.
As we see his car leave the parking lot, Eren turns to me and jumps on me,
wrapping his arms around my neck. I wrap my arms around his waist to hold him
up.
"Eren, that's amazing!" I say and set him back down. I set him down and his
smile suddenly falters.
"Is it just because I'm a special case?" He signs and I shake my head.
"He choose you because you were good. He didn't even know about everything
before." I say and he smiles again full force.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
My graduation came and went and pretty soon, Eren was admitted into the
hospital for his surgery.
***** Voice *****
Chapter Notes
     I'm so fucking happy I finally write this chapter. That's all I'm
     gonna say. Enjoy:)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
Levi's POV
 
 
I'm leaning against the wall of a similar hospital room, waiting for Eren to
wake up. Mikasa, Armin, Hanji, and Erwin are all here. Hanji is standing next
to me as I tap my foot. "It's gonna be fine." She says and I look away.
"It better fucking be." I say and she puts her hand on my shoulder.
"I get that you're worried, but relax. It'll do nothing." She says and my jaw
clenches. It's just he's so close, so close to having his voice back. I know it
drives him crazy and its a constant reminder of Grisha. I just want him to be
free of him.
"I just can't believe he might be able to talk again," Armin says with a big,
innocent smile. He looks much younger than I've seen him look since Eren
attempted suicide.
"I wonder if his voice is going to be different." Mikasa thinks out loud and I
nod.
"Is that even related to the cords or the voice box?" I turn to Hanji and she
shrugs.
"I don't know, but it's possible it may be different." She says and I nod. It's
sad to think it might not be the same, but if he can talk, I really don't care.
A noise from the bed brings me out of my thoughts and I see Eren moving his arm
and his eyes moving behind his eyelids.
I move over to his bed and sit down next to him, grabbing his hand. His eyes
flicker open and he looks up at me and smiles.
Then he opens his mouth.
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
"Hi." I say.
Wait. What?
"Holy shit." I say.
I say.
Out loud.
Everyone looks at me in shock. "Well, his voice didn't change." Erwin says in
astonishment.
"Guys, I'm talking," I say. I can't talk that loud, but I just had surgery, so
that normal, I think. The door opens and Dr. Grey walks in.
"Hi there. I'm liking the positive vibe in here." She says with a hopeful
smile.
"Come here so I can hug you, oh my gosh." I say and everybody laughs. I hug my
doctor and she smiles down at me.
"So, how does it feel to talk? Is it uncomfortable? Is breathing okay?" She
asks and I starts crying.
"No, everything is perfect. Just, oh my god, thank you." I say and Levi stands
up and hugs her too.
"God, I'm just getting the love today." She says and eventually, everyone else
comes and hugs her too. I'm sitting here in shock, but this time it's a good
shock.
 
 
I can talk.
 
Levi breakd away from the group hug and nearly tackles me, pulling me into a
kiss. It's quick, but passionate and he pulla back with his lopsided grin that
just drives me insane.
"I can't believe it. Well, I can, but god, this is crazy." He says and I nod in
agreement.
"I can talk... I... I don't know what to say. It's like, I can say anything,
but I don't know exactly what I should say." I say as I calm myself down.
"Eren, you can be discharged now, but you have to be careful not to
overstimulate your vocal cords. So no singing, no screaming." Dr. Grey says
that last part to Levi and wow my face feels really hot now. "Im gonna leave
you to change, your clothes are over there." She says and walks out.
"I'm not seeing you naked." Erwin says and gets off of the wall. Everybody but
Levi gets up and leaves, Mikasa winking and reminding us what the doctor said.
As soon as the door is closed, Levi throws his arms around my waist and picks
me up. I laugh, slapping his back to get him to put me down.
"I'm sorry, I'm just so happy to hear your voice again. I missed it." He says
as he puts me down. He turns around and grabs my clothes for me before setting
them on the bed and turning to leave, so I grab his wrist.
"Don't leave just yet." I say and he turns to me, looking confused. I don't
know why, but I desperately don't want to be left alone in here while I change.
He smiles at me and nods, understand my hesitation even though I don't really
understand it myself.
He sits down on the bed as I start to change, finding myself comfortable under
his gaze. I know he won't judge me for my scars, if anything, I think he kind
of likes them. Not the meaning behind the scars, but how I melt into him when
he runs his fingers over the sensitive skin as he is now. He puts his chin on
my shoulder and kisses my cheek.
"I need to put clothes on you know." I say and he shakes his head.
"Technically speaking, you don't have to." He says and I laugh.
"Does my voice really make you that horny?" I ask and he nods, making me laugh
again.
"Sit." I say and he listens, so I put my clothes on. After I have them fully
on, I turn to Levi and he stands up.
"Ready?" He asks but I shake my head and wrap my arms around his waist and put
my forehead on his.
"Levi?"
"Yeah?"
I have to calm my heartbeat in my ears before I say it.
"I love you."
I say it and feel tears come to my face again. To my surprise, he seems to have
the same problem. He smiles as tears run down his face. "I love you too. God, I
love you so much. I'm sorry, I'm crying like a sap, this is just so surreal."
He says with a laugh and lightly kiss his lips.
"It's cute. And I'm crying too. I never thought I'd get to say it out loud, but
god Levi, I'm in love with you. I'm so in love with you." I say and he looks
down and starts really crying. I take his hands in my face as he weeps happy
tears.
He looks up and shoves his lips on mine, bonking our noses together. It's an
awkward kiss, but easily adjusted to a sweet, emotional kiss as he gets my face
wet with both of our tears because it happened. I overcame it.
 
I survived.
 
Just when I was thinking I would be okay kissing him forever, someone taps my
shoulder. When did the door open?
I break the kiss and glance to my side to see Hanji's face right next to mine,
looking concerned. I'd be surprised if it wasn't Hanji, but if her face is
associated, I'm used to it. "Are you two okay?" She asks and I looks to Levi to
see his smile despite his tears pouring out.
"Yeah, we're great."
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
We all went to the 104th that night and everyone was freaking out over my
voice. It's really kind of crazy and Hannes is smiling at us as he watches
everyone shriek. Everyone quiets down when I start to talk.
"You know, I never thought I'd be able to talk again, so I just want to take
the moment to say something." I say and everyone turns to me.
"One of the things that I was driving me crazy was that I couldn't say how much
I love you guys. So I wanna take a moment to say something to all of you." I
say and turn to the end of the table.
"Oluo, I think you're awesome. Don't be afraid to be yourself, because you're
much better when you're not trying to be someone else. Just be you. Petra?
You're a cute little strawberry and that you for being the sweetest person I
know. Well, next to Marco. You really are an angel, Marco." I say and they're
all blushing, but I can't bring myself to care. I can finally say all the
things I want to say.
"Eld? You're an awesome hippie and I love it. You're reliable and just a really
good, chill person. Gunther, you're too tense. You're a good person who's gonna
go far in life. You shouldn't worry so much. Sasha? I don't even understand how
you're still so fucking skinny and I find it hysterical. You're funny and
adorable and don't ever change. And don't leave Connie. You two are the perfect
partners in crime. You're really awesome, Connie. You're the only boy I know
who can rap like a women." He whoops and punches the air and I can't help but
laugh.
"And Reiner? I see you as kind of an older brother. You're just really cool and
always there for everyone. Bert, you need to have more faith in yourself.
You're strong and capable, so don't be so insecure. Historia?" She looks a
little too nervous for my liking, so I smile at her as warmly as I can.
"You're great. You're sweet and despite everything that's happened, I still
consider you a good friend. Same with you, Ymir. You're honest and
straightforward and I respect that." I say and she nods and smiles at me, which
I consider a win.
"Moblit? You're just a good person. Like, a legit good person and I'm really
happy you finally got Hanji. And Annie? You are the least openly emotionally
person I know, but you're not cold. You're actually a very warm, sweet person
and I want you to know I love that you and Mika are together. And Erwin, you're
a really good friend and you and Armin are super cute. But I still can't get
over the fact Armin banged you. Like wow." I say and fake shiver, making
everyone laugh as Armin blushes.
"Hannes? I know you're watching." I say and he walks over to us. "Thank you for
everything. If it we're for you, I don't know what I'd do." I says and he grin
at me.
"Jean, my favorite racehorse. Hi there." I say and wave as he rolls his eyes.
"You've seriously been amazing throughout everything and thank you so much for
that. I'm glad to call you my friend." I say and his eyes widen, but he smiles.
"Hanji, you're fucking insane. Thank you for everything and just for being
you." I say and she leans across the table to hug me, calmer than expect.
"Mikasa? Thank you for everything. You're still my protective-sister-slash-
mother-slash-best-friend. I love you like a sister. You too Armin, but like a
brother instead of a sister." I say with a laugh and he giggles too.
"You've been so strong throughout this whole thing and I just want to thank you
for that. And Levi," I say and turn to my boyfriend.
"I'm so happy I get to say this out loud, but I am madly in love with you.
You've been there for me, helping me fall asleep, keeping me sane, hell, you
saved my life. I don't have a single doubt in my mind when I say you are the
love of my life. Thank you." I say and by this point half of the table is
crying, including Levi.
"Fuck, you're such a sap." He says and wipes his eyes, making everyone laugh.
"I love you so much." He says and puts his head on my shoulder while threading
out hands together. Most of our friends laugh or "aw" at this, but I don't
mind. As I look around at everyone here, this this boy on my shoulder and a
lightness to my heart, I'm finally at peace.
Chapter End Notes
     CHARACTER LOVE FOR EVERYONE!!! YasssssXD
***** Clean *****
Chapter Notes
     Happy Easter!!! You guys really seemed to like that last chapter and
     I'm glad! That made me so happy to write! This chapter is important
     in the sense of Levi. It's annoying and I hate Grisha but I'm pretty
     happy with how this turned out.
     Btw, I know a lot of you wanted Grisha to get the death sentence, but
     they live in Michigan and they don't have a death sentence there.
     Just thought is cover that.
     So here you go! Enjoy and enjoy your Bunny Day!
Eren's POV
 
 
I knew I needed to do it. I sat down at the table next to Levi as they brought
Grisha out. Levi grabs my hand under the table as we sit face to face with the
man who tried to ruin me.
"So, what do you want to talk about?" He says, really annunciating the "talk"
and I can't help but smirk.
"Oh, we have a lot to talk about." I say and his jaw drops.
"How..."
"I found out about a surgery that you conveniently forgot to mention." I say
and he looks down, eyes wide.
"So, first things first, how did you know you were the one to mute me?" I ask
and he rolls his eyes.
"Who said I had to answer anything?" He asks and I see Levi grit his teeth.
"We have evidence of crime from so many cities and state, you could be moved
from jail to the chair." Levi says and Grisha's eyes narrow.
"And I have evidence on you." Grisha says and Levi laughs dryly.
"You're bluffing, but you see, I'm not. I know you killed Isabel Magnolia and
Farlan Church. That's how you know me." Levi says and I squeeze his hand under
the table for support.
"Well Rivaille, you and Eren are perfect for each other. You're both useless
whores." He says and Levi lets go of my hand in favor of slamming both of his
hands on the table and standing up.
His eyes look wild in a way I've never seen and I know Grisha hit a
nerve. "Listen up, you motherfucker. You are the worst scum I've ever had the
displeasure of laying my eyes upon. I never knew I could hate someone so much
until I met you. You fuck with people and treat them worse that the dirt you
walk on." Levi say and Grisha just smirks.
"I'm pretty you were the one fucking people." He said and Levi's eyes narrow
and he looks like he's about to jump over the table and kill Grisha.
"Unlike you, I didn't have a choice." He says, barely even saying it through
gritted teeth.
"Well, just so you know, Izzy was a fun one. She kept calling out for her big
brother to save her." Grisha says and Levi's eyes widen and I see him stop
breathing for a few seconds.
"Leave him out of this." I hiss to Grisha and he turns to me with an
uninterested look.
"Oh yeah, you're still here." He says and I have to take a moment to calm
myself before talking.
"How did you know it was you?" I repeat my question from earlier and he sighs
as if his is a waste of his time.
"You started choking when you woke up." He says with a smirk.
"I wonder who did that?"
"I wonder who killed your mother." He says and Levi, who's still standing
still, walks over and grabs Grisha's collar, taking him and pinning him on the
wall.
"He didn't do anything wrong! He tried to save her! You're the one at fault
here! Eren deserves so much better than you as a father. I can't even put into
words how much better than you he is. He's good and you so far on the other
side. He like heaven and you're hell. Fuck you. Fuck you and everything you've
done." He says, voice strong, but he's visibly trembling. The guards run in and
pull Levi away from Grisha and I see them pull Grisha out of the room and I
know it in that moment. This is the last time I'll ever see him.
Good.
The guards carry Levi out and he's still not really moving much, just kind of
following as he's walked out. As soon as they let go, he falls on the ground
and starts crying.
I sit on the ground next to him and take him into my arms. We just sit in the
middle of the pavement and he weeps. He grips my shirt and just lets it all
out, crying every last tear. He's shaking like I've never seen him shake before
and I just try to hold him still and calm him down enough so I can take him
home. He needs to rest. It's been too long of a day.
He looks up to me looking almost embarrassed and tries to get up, but falls. I
support him from his back and he just leans on my arms as I get up and he
continues to sob.
"It's okay, Levi." I say and he shakes his head.
"No. No, it's not okay. I'm sorry." He cries into my arms and I walk him to his
truck so he can lie down on the bench seat. I put him down then run to the
other side to lift his head into my lap.
He just cries and cries as I stroke his hair and leave him be. He'll talk when
he's ready. It's actually pretty soon after. "I'm sorry. You just saw your
father and here I am sobbing like an idiot." He sniffles and shake my head.
"He really only said things to hurt you. It's okay to be affected by this." I
say and tears pour out of his grey-blue eyes.
"I didn't want to, you know. I didn't want to sell myself. I felt like a slut
and I hated it. I felt worthless. That's part of the reason why I waited so
long to try and be with you, plus the girlfriend. I didn't feel worthy of you."
He says and I have to pause at that. He didn't feel worthy of me?I lean down
and gently kiss his lips before pulling back.
"Levi, you're the most amazing person I've ever met. You're beautiful and good
and sweet. You're reliable, hell, you've been the only constant in my life
besides Armin and Mika. If you think you're not worthy of me then you're dead
wrong. If anything, is the opposite. I love you and you make me happy." I say
as he cries. I run my fingers along the line of his undercut and try to calm
him down.
"You're good. You just did it because you had to. You didn't have a choice."
"I could have sold drugs."
"But then you wouldn't be here." I say and he looks up at me. "Don't you get
it? This is it. The way we live is because of how we lived in the past. It's
twisted and messy, but it's beautiful and although I wish everything could've
been easier, being with you makes it bearable." I say and he moves so he's
sitting on my lap with our foreheads together.
"You don't see me as dirty?" He asks with an honestly that breals my heart.
"I see you as clean." I say and he breaks down crying. I take his face in my
hands and kiss away his tears, despite the fact is face is nearly soaked. His
shoulders are shaking heavily and he has to gasp to breath. He looks up at me
with red rimmed eyes and smiles weakly.
"I love you so much." He says and I smile. "I love you too." I move to the
driver's seat and drive him to his house. I know how to drive since Armin
taught me in his beauty of a car, but I never got my license, so I go
cautiously.
I bring him home to the basement, passing Mikasa and Annie. They end up
following us down and I lay him down on the couch, but he won't let go of me,
so I lay down too. They keep shooting us confused looks as Levi regains his
composure and keeps pecking my lips with a tired smile like he doesn't care
that anyone else is in the room.
They stay down and call for everyone to come over. I lay Levi down as everyone
tries to cheer him up, but I know he's okay. Hurt, but okay. That's how we all
are, I guess. Dying, but surviving.
Levi isn't paying attention to anything but me, he just plays with our
intertwined hands as he calms his breathing. Eventually, he goes back to normal
minus a bit of shaking and moves so he's sitting up.
Hanji and Erwin move on the other side of him and Levi uses our hands to pull
me close. He lets out a sigh and leans his head on my shoulder before talking
to everyone.
By latet in  the night, he still hasn't left my side and I don't think he plans
on it. He keeps kissing me or nuzzling into me and I kind of love how clingy
he's being. I know he needs my physical presence despite not wanting to say so.
Armin turns on a movie and it seems Levi is having none of that because he
moves to sit on my lap and wraps his arms around my waist. I put mine around
his head as he starts to drift off.
I play with his hair until I know he's asleep for good and then look up to
watch the movie. When I look up, I see everyone watching us rather than the
movie.
"Is he okay?" Erwin is the first to ask and I look down to see Levi smiling
slightly in his sleep.
"Yeah, he's okay." I say and look up to see Erwin smiling, but Hanji still
looks concerned.
"So what happened?" She asks and I look back down. Can I say it? Most of the
people in this room don't know. I decide to just use the most vague
explanation.
"We saw Grisha today, but he mostly said things to hurt Levi." I say and she
nods, understanding.
"Are you okay?" Mikasa asks nervously.
"Yeah, I'm good. Today was kind of an eye opener actually. What Grisha said
wasn't right. He was acting to cover his own ass. I guess I just realized that
nothing he said to me mattered." I say and she smiles as I run my fingers
through Levi's raven hair.
Everyone turns back to the movie except Erwin who scoots closer to me. "What
did he say?" He asks and I knew exactly what he was referring to.
"He called us whores." I say and Levi move slightly in his sleep, but I kiss
his forehead and he relaxes. I look to Erwin to see him gazing lovingly at
Levi.
"Thank you." He says and looks up at my face which is probably wear a lot of
confusion.
"I know you've been through a lot lately and you probably feel like Levi was
your rock, but you were his too. He's like a brother to me and I only wany the
best for him, so thanks for taking care of him." He says and I look down at
Levi.
He looks so peaceful despite the fact he was weeping not too long before. He's
the reason all of this is worth it.
"It was nothing."
I'd do anything for him.
***** Happily Ever After *****
Chapter Notes
     Hey guys.... It's been awhile... I'm so sorry, but writing smut
     literally takes me like a week because I feel uncomfortable doing
     that in public and all... So I hope it's worth it!
     Thank ya'll so much because during my accidental mini hiatus, you got
     me to 7K hits! Like, this is unbelievable! I love you all and you
     have no idea how much this all means to me! Same with your comments,
     they all make me so happy! I was raving to my friend about ya'll
     because you're all so good to me, so thank you:)
     So, here's a long chapter with smut, angst, and a lot of fluff:
     ) Enjoy!
Eren's POV
 
 
I didn't think I'd be nervous for prom, but for some reason, the thought of it
as I button up my white shirt is driving me crazy. It's not that I expect
anything to go wrong, it's that I don't know how to feel about any of this.
Am I dressing too casually since I don't have a jacket? Did I get the right
colored flower thing? And how is... Prom Night gonna go? My thoughts are
interrupted by Hannes knocking at my door.
"Hey, kid." He says and walks in.
"Hey, you came in good timing. How the fuck do I tie a bow tie?" I ask and he
laughs and walks over to me.
"You picked a good color, by the way. Matches your eyes." He says and I smile
and look down.
"Armin picked it out. He's much better at this stuff." I say to him as he ties
my tie for me.
"I know this sounds bad, but I always thought of you as my own kid, even if I
wasn't always there." He says and I look up to him.
"Hannes, thank you. Really, for everything. You've done everything you can for
me and it means the world." I say and he smiles to me as he finishes up.
"I wish I could've done more, but I'm glad I could help." He says and turns to
leave, but I wrap my arms around him.
"Don't walk away as I'm thanking you." I say and he laughs.
"Finish getting ready, I'm driving you to the Ackerman's in ten." He says
before leaving and closing the door behind him. I find my matching green vest
and put it on before looking in the mirror and having a stare-down with my
hair.
Do I comb you? So I gel you? Would you even cooperate? I take out a hairbrush
and brush it through one side of my hair and it decides to do its best mad
scientist impression.
I press out the static with my hand and glare at my mess of brown fur. You win
this round.
I run a hand through it in spite and decide that it works like it is. I've been
neglecting my hair's length and it's grown to about shoulder length with messy
layers. It's kind of a rocker vibe and I kind of like it. I think I'll just
keep it this length.
I decide I'm not getting anything done with that and put on some weird cologne
I found in a drawer. Smells decent and my deodorant doesn't have a scent, so
why the hell not. Once I deem myself presentable, I go downstairs to see Hannes
holding the keys. 
"Ready, Freddie?" He says and I laugh.
"Ready, Spaghetti." I say and head out the door after him. Most of the ride is
quiet until we pull into the driveway.
"So, are you going to a friends house or a hotel or something? Don't kids do
that now?" He says and it strikes my how oddly... Father-like this is. Albeit
irresponsible, but father-like. I forgot what that felt like. I missed it.
"Yeah, what time should I be home tomorrow?" I say and he smiles.
"I'd say before nine pm." He says and I laugh.
"Okay, now let's go take pictures." He says and unbuckled his seatbelt. We walk
to the door and Kenny answers. He lets me in and starts talking to Hannes as I
go to find Levi in the crowd of people here. I find him in the kitchen, leaning
on the counter, doing something on his phone.
Holy shit.
"Hey," I say and he looks up at me and pauses. He puts his phone away and
stands up straight. He is stunning. Levi is always able to take my breath away,
but this was just... Wow. I stand at a loss for words as I stare at my
boyfriend.
He has on black pants that fit him very well and black leather shoes. On top,
he has on a white shirt and fitted white suit jacket with a skinny, black tie.
His hair was pushed back with gel, but not to the point it was greasy and just
damn.
He walks over to me and fixes my collar. I don't think there was anything wrong
with it. I'm positive as he leans up and presses his lips to my ear.
"You look absolutely amazing." He says and looks up at me, biting his lip in an
almost shy way that only adds to how perfect he looks.
"You look... wow." I say and I realize how stupid I sound, but before I can
stutter out something worse, he leans up and kisses my lips.
It amazing how I can still get butterflies over him just doing that. He tries
to pull away, but I lean down and meet his descending lips and he smiles and
meets me halfway. It's just playful, a bit of lip biting and smiling until
Mikasa clears her throat. Shit, right, people.
I pull away from Levi and smile at her. She looks fantastic in a bright red
poofy dress with her hair in an updo. Annie is wearing a seafoam green high-low
dress that I don't think anyone could make look fancy but her. She has her
short hair down in waves and she has a small smile of her face.
"Stop sucking face, people eat in here." Mikasa says and Levi wiggles his
eyebrows.
"Ain't that the truth." He says with a smirk and my fave turns into a
strawberry despite the lack of truth in his statement.
"Oh god, stop it." I say and he laughs. The thing I've noticed since I've
gotten my voice back is that Levi is a lot more open with his emotions. I can't
really figure out why exactly, but I like how much he's been smiling.
He grabs my hand and walks me into the living room where everyone is talking.
It still amazes me how everyone fits in this room since the Ackerman's live in
a normal size house. The whole neighborhood is normal size, not small by any
means, but not big either. It's a nice neighborhood, but I'd rather not live
here again. Too many memories.
Levi squeezes my hand and steps in front of me, face concerned. "You okay?" He
asks and I smile to him.
"Yeah, I'm okay." I say and kiss him softly.
We take pictures rather quickly despite the number of people. I take a few with
Mikasa and Armin and big group ones but none with Levi alone due to the sheer
amount people are taking when we're not posing.
Pretty soon, we all get into cars and drive to dinner. I'm very happy Annie has
a car since we're not going to take Mikasa home. Levi rented out a hotel room
and we split the cost. As much as I want this night to be perfect, I don't want
to put pressure on it. That just makes things worse.
"Eren?" Levi says and I look over to him. "What wrong?" He asks as he drives
and it honestly takes everything in me not to kiss him. He looks absolutely
amazing, but in a Levi way. If it were anyone else, I wouldn't care, but that's
the man I love. I scoot closer to him, disregarding my seatbelt I never put on,
and kiss his cheek.
"I'm just a bit nervous, but don't worry." I say and he smirks.
"It's just prom, there's nothing to worry about." Oh yeah, I kind of haven't
told him I want to bottom. I do, I really do, but I'm just nervous I'll mess up
or freak out. How mortifying would it be if I have a panic attack when he puts
his dick in me. Yeah, that'd be bad.
"If there's nothing wrong, then stop making that face, you worry me." He says
and I realize I dozed off again. I take his free hand in mine as he drives and
butterflies fill my stomach.
"You worry way too much." I say and he sighs and glances to me.
"You're gonna be the death of me, I swear." He says and I laugh.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
The dance itself is crazy. I'm walking in with Levi and I can't help but laugh
at the decorations. It's a "stary night" theme and it's a bit stupid. Actually,
a lot stupid.
Prom is in the ballroom of the hotel I'm staying the night at, so Levi and I
dropped off our bags before heading to prom itself. There are paper mâché stars
hanging from the ceiling and twinkle lights everywhere. It's actually pretty
with the lights, but everything else about it is shitty.
I've always been bad with dances, opting out of as many as I could before, so I
let Levi lead me to the dance floor. There's some song with heavy bass playing
that everyone is either grinding or jumping to. I guess Levi goes for the
former as he grabs my hips.
"You okay with this?" He asks. He's been being really cautious and sweet all
night and it honest makes me all the happier he's here with me.
"Yeah, it's good." I say and wrap my arms around his neck. We start swaying our
hips and after a moment, I laugh. "This is so awkward, why is this a thing?" I
say in his ear and he laughs too.
"It's pretty much an excuse to dry hump in public." He says and rolls his hips
to prove the point. I groan in his ear and know that we're not gonna stay here
long if he keeps that up.
We end up just sitting at a table with some of our friends until something I
really hate starts. "It's time to announce prom court!" Someone announces that
I don't even really recognize. I should probably go to school more often.
Granted, I did have surgery twice this quarter alone.
I look to Mikasa to bitch about how barbaric this is with her and am surprised
to see that she looks almost excited. What the hell?
"This year is going to be a bit different than most years." The man says and I
have no idea what's going on until I see two male crowns. Wow, that's really
cool. I wonder if it's Eld and Gunther.
"This year, we have two prom kings. The first one is Levi Ackerman!" The
announcer says and I feel my eyes widen as I see Levi stand up and walk up to
the front. Who the hell is gonna be his other king? The thought of anyone else
with him makes my blood boil a bit.
"The second is Eren Jaeger!"
Wait, what?
All of our friends are cheering loudly as Levi smiles down to me. How the hell
did I win? I'm a junior and not exactly popular.
Mikasa shoves me a bit and I remember how to walk the stage. I get up there and
the place the crown on my head, and I must still look confused until Levi comes
and grabs my hand, leaning up to whisper in my ear.
"I think Hanji and Erwin rigged it." I hear the mixture of annoyance and
amusement in his voice and laugh. He lowers himself off of his tiptoes and I
just smile down at him. He looks really cute since the plastic crown is too big
for him and it falling to the side, face soft and eyes blue. He has a small
smile on his face and I know I'm just grinning like an idiot as I lean down and
lightly press my lips to his.
"Now the prom kings must share a royal dance." The announce says and honestly,
is he getting paid for this, because shit that makes this more cheesy that it
already it. Levi and I walk off of the stage to the dance floor, where people
have cleared an opening for us.
Levi looks to me and gives me a little smile before bending down and offering
me his hand. "May I have this dance?" He asks and everyone around us screams or
swoons. I may or may not have let out a swoon-sounding sigh as well. He
grinning his crooked grin up to me and and god, he's adorable.
"I'd love to." I say and take his hand. He holds our two hands up and puts his
other one around me waist while I put mine on his shoulder. It's not a fancy,
well-formed dance, but it's enough that has my heart beating like a drum as
they play the song, we step back and forth to the music.
 
The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath.
And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth.
 
"So, do you think Hanji or Erwin picked the song?" I ask and he smiles.
"I actually did. I told them I was gonna request it, but I didn't think they'd
do this." He says and I laugh.
"A bit cliche, don't you think?" I ask and he glares at me with no real heat.
"Hey, I love this song. It's cheesy, yes, but it's also musically well done."
He says and I smile at his music nerd display.
 
Tell me that we belong together,
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.
 
He uses our clasped hands to spin me around and I laugh as I practically fall
in his arms. I get myself upright and press my forehead to his.
"I love you." I say and he looks down with a blush.
"I love you too, Bright Eyes."
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
We clumsily make our way to our room, holding hands the whole way. It takes
everything in me not to make out with him in the hallway, but I'm still in my
right mind enough to wait.
As soon as the door closes behind up, my back hits the door. Levi, despite the
slightly aggressive action, delicately grabs my face with one hand, thumb
tracing my cheekbone, and strings the other in my hair.
Our bodies are flushes and I can feel his growing arousal. I'm stuck on the
wall, not able or wanting to move from this place. The feeling of him against
me has me knees weak already and all we've done is grind at this point.
"I've been wanting you all night." I say to him he shivers as if he's the one
pinned against the door. He picks me up and carries me over to the bed. It kind
of feels as though we were newlyweds, but it's nice. He sets my down on the bed
and straddles me.
"Don't worry, we have all night now." He says and leans down to kiss me. He
starts out slow, but I lick his bottom lip almost instantly, wanting to move
this along. I was nervous, but I wanted this. I wanted Levi.
I pull his jacket off of him and loosen his tie as we get lost in just being.
He breaks the kiss just long enough to rip his shirt off before pulling out
bodies flush again. He starts to work my clothes off too until we're just pants
and boxers. I pull back just enough to start to unbuckle his pants as he starts
suckling at my jaw.
A desperate moan comes out of me making Levi moan too and pull back. "That was
the sexiest thing I've ever heard." He says as he finishes pulling off his
pants. "I wonder what you will sound like pounding into me." He says and I
falter.
"Levi?" I say and he looks up a bit concerned.
"You okay?" He says and sits on my lap enough so that we're face to face,
forehead to forehead.
"Yeah, I'm okay, I just..." I say and he rubs my cheekbones with him thumbs and
waits for me to finish. "I want you to take me." I say, voice unwavering and
Levi's eyes widen.
"Are you sure?" He says softly, but I can feel his dick twitch at the request.
"I'm sure. But... just be gentle. I can't do it hard. I won't be able to take
it. Don't just fuck me." I say and he smiles sweetly and nods.
"I wasn't planning on ever just fucking you. I want to make love to you. Love
you in every way possible." He says and I shutter at the deep, but honest voice
he uses to say it. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss.
This one is slower and I can tell he's being serious about this. It's not
lacking passion in any way, but it doesn't need to be rushed. We have the rest
of our lives to love each other.
He tilts his head to deepen the kiss and I thread my fingers through his hair.
His hand run down my chest, my stomach, all the way to my pants where he begins
to slowly unbuckle my belt.
He's being as gentle as he can and it makes my heart swell. He knows I want
this, but I really can't take that much. He takes off my pants and underwear
with the help of me lifting my hips, leaving me naked, our crowns having fallen
off at some point I don't really remember.
He stops for a moment and just stares at me. When I say a moment, I mean a long
moment. I reach for a pillow to cover myself up, but he grabs my hand and laces
it with his. "I don't think you realize just how beautiful you are. You're
beautiful in the most natural way and god, it's hot." He says and I can't help
but laugh, although a moan threatens to take its place.
"So I'm hot and beautiful?" I ask and he rolls his eyes, but he's still
smiling.
"Shut up and kiss me, you brat." He says and I pull him down into a kiss. He
pulls his underwear down and I feel his hard cock against my stomach and nearly
moan again. His tongue explores my mouth as he starts playing with my nipple.
"Ugh... Levi..." I groan as he latches onto my jaw and twists one of my
nipples.
His teeth scrap there and I can feel a mark in the making. He licks over the
spot before moving down and taking my other nipple into his mouth, covering it
in his moist heat. I find myself arching into the feeling of his mouth on my
chest as he teethes at the bud. "Ahh..." I sigh as his kisses start to move
downwards.
He trails down my stomach and licks a strip on each of the scars on my stomach,
making me arch up to him. He slowly makes his way down and then licks up the
length of my dick. I moan as he starts sucking on the head, swirling around it
with his tongue.
He slowly moves his head down until my cock hits the back of his throat.
"Levi!" I shriek and I'm really happy that it's past the time where I couldn't
scream because let's just say, I'm not being quiet. He knows just how to work
his tongue to have me squirming beneath him.
I grab the sheets in an effort not to pull his hair, but it's all for naught
after he starts sucking. "Ahh!" I yell and thread one of my hands through his
hair. He starts bobbing his head and I accidentally thrust into his mouth and
he comes up coughing.
"Fuck, I'm so sorry." I say and he smiles.
"It's okay. I'm not really used to doing that anymore." He says and moves so
he's leaving open mouth kisses on my thigh. He just keeps sucking on one spot
before he starts scrapping his teeth on it. "Levi..." I moan as he licks over
the large red spot he created.
He suddenly has my knees in his hands and pushes them up. "This might feel
weird at first, but it'll try to make it as comfortable as possible." He says
and I'm suddenly really worried as he reaches for the lube he put on the
nightstand. As he grabs it, I grab his hand.
"Levi, I don't know if..." I trail off again and move to sit up. As hard as it
is not to beg him to let me finish, being painfully hard, I need to talk about
this. "I don't really know how tight it is down there. It's probably not that
much." I say and something like pain flashes across his face and I know it's
not about the tightness of my asshole.
"That doesn't matter. But I should ask, will it hurt you?" He says and I have
to grab the base of my dick for a second. Levi notices this and looks at me
quizzically. "You like it when I fuss over you." He state in a way that's not
possibly a question. I chew on my lip and he throws his head back at the
action.
"I like it when I know you love me." I say bashfully. It's actually kind of
awkward to admit I have a kink, if it can be considered that, but Levi doesn't
seem to mind as he puts his hand on my neck and pulls me so out foreheads are
touching.
"I love you so much. Would you let me make love to you?" He asks and I nearly
cum right there. I nod and he kisses my lips lightly, just a feather of a
touch, and moves himself so he's back between my legs. He puts the lube on
fingers and trails one of the fingers up my thigh.
I pull my legs up so I can open myself more to Levi. He smirks to me then moves
my legs over his shoulders. "Don't worry, you don't have to do anything. I'm
gonna make you feel good." He says and starts kissing my thigh, trailing closer
to my warmth.
I feel a sudden wetness around my hole before I know what's happening. "Levi!"
I scream at the feel as he licks over it. The feeling is unlike anything
imaginable and I'm just squirming under him as he licks around my hole. He
suddenly presses his tongue and I I'm screaming at the feeling of his tongue
gently working me open.
He pulla back and his wet finger is circling my hole. "Ready?" He asks and I
smile and nod. He slowly pushes it in up to the knuckle. He moves up to me and
kisses my lips. "Don't worry, I'm gonna make you feel good, Eren." He says as
he starts pumping his finger at a lazy pace.
It feels weird to have something in me and not have it be painful, so I guess
it's a good sign. It actually feels really good as he prods my walls to open me
enough for another finger.
That one stings a bit, but I just focus on the man above me, lovingly pecking
kisses on my face. He moves his fingers in a stretching motion as he presses
his lips to mine.
I kiss him back, distracting myself until he brushes against a spot inside of
me. "Levi!" I scream into his mouth and he smiles into the kiss.
"Found it. You're so cute when you sound like that." He says and prods at that
spot again, making me moan loudly. He puts a third finger in while I'm coming
down from that high and I don't notice it until he separates them.
"Levi, please." I say and he smiles to me.
"I'm just making sure you're ready. Don't worry. I'm gonna make you feel so
good." He says as he pulls finishes stretching me. Once he's done, I wrap my
legs around his hips.
"Ready?" He asks again and I nod, but I'm super nervous. I guess he understands
this, because he leans forward and kisses me softly. It's a light moving of
lips, soft and slow. It's times like this he really takes my breath away, where
I'm open in the most vulnerable ways and he still focuses on making me feel
good.
I grab his shoulders and push him back just a bit so that we're eye-to-eye and
nod. He leans forward and kisses me right as he starts pushing in. He works his
tongue into my mouth and we get lost in the kiss and his slowly pushing into
me. As soon as he bottoms out, he pulls away with a hiss.
"Fuck, you're tight." He says and that made me incredibly happy. I probably
looked crazy, giggling up to him. He looks at me with a curious look and I just
lean up and kiss him, groaning as it seems to somehow move us closer. He's
thick and I'm so full, but I can't stop the overwhelming sense of joy I feel.
"I'm... tight? Am I... really?" I ask with a giddy grin while fighting my
arousal that's making my head dizzy and he smiles.
"Yes... you are." He says and shutters.
"Levi, please move!" I yell because I can't take the pressure much longer. He
nods and slowly pulls out before pushing back in, making me let out a long
moan. He does it again, slightly harder and, god, it feels good.
He pushes in and out, leaving me groaning and writhing under him. He keeps it
slow, but steady. He takes my legs and pulls them over his shoulders and hits a
spot that has me seeing white. "Levi!" I yelled and he let out a sexy groan
that only helped the situation.
It only takes a few more thrusts until I'm cumming on our chests and he's
cumming in me. He flops on top of me for awhile and catches him breath. He
pulls out of me after a bit and lays next to me.
I turn to him and he wraps an arm around me, ignoring the cum on both out
stomachs. "That was..." I start, and he shuts me up by kissing me. He just
pressed his lips on mine and doesn't move them.
"What are you doing?" I ask against his mouth and I feel him scowl.
"I'm not sure, but it's comfortable." He says and I laugh, falling to the side
and he comes on top of me, actually kissing me and taking advantage of my open
mouth.
Just when I think he's aiming for a round two, he pulls back suddenly and sits
in my lap. "I need to get something off my chest." He says and I sit up.
"Would that be my cum?" I ask and he laughs and shoves my shoulder.
"Shut up, I'm being serious." He says and I smile to him.
"Okay, what is it?" I say and he bites his lip.
"The only thing I remember my mom saying to me is that when I love someone, I
should tell them everything because despite what how close you feel, we can't
read each others minds." He says and my smile shrinks from giddy to serious,
but just as happy nonetheless.
"So I guess I wanted to say that I'm honestly in love with you. Not on the
level most teenagers are supposed to be. I've loved you since you were a
scrawny freshman who was just trying to get me to fall asleep." He says and
pauses to look down.
"I was in a really dark place when I met you, but you helped me. Well, I guess
you didn't help me fully, but you made me want to help myself. I had a note
written and everything. I was gonna do it. I was gonna die." My breath catches
as he looks up at me and my chest tightens.
"But that one night, you came down, and you told me I could trust you. I knew
you were being honest because your eyes were a different color than they
normally were. Brighter, I guess." He looks down reminiscently and I feel tears
gather in my eyes.
"I didn't know if there was still anything worth living for until you did that.
Anything truly good in the world. I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you,
because whether or not you knew it, you saved me." He says and looks up at me
as the tears start to fall. He brings his hand up and wipes a tear out of the
way.
"I wish I could've helped you before you were on the bridge and I know
everything isn't perfect, but I'm just happy everything is okay. Above decent,
even." He says with a smile that makes me know he means more than just 'above
decent'.
I knit my hands in his hair and pull him close, just to feel his presence with
me. I look to his blue eyes and say without thinking. "I'm gonna marry you one
day." His eyes widen slightly and I feel him smile against my mouth as he
brushes his lips on mine. "I'd like that." He says and I smile with him as we
kiss and I know that maybe people like me do get happily ever afters.
***** Live *****
Chapter Notes
     I'm a terrible person. It's been almost a month since I posted... I'm
     so sorry! This is a super long chapter that really starts to work us
     towards the conclusion. I'm thinking only a few more chapters, but I
     said that like 10 chapters ago, so we'll see. Anyway, I'm sorry! I
     had writers block, then when I finally had an idea, I got super busy
     and went to New York for awhile and now I'm back and I literally
     finished this during school today. So, here you go! Enjoy!
Levi's POV
 
 
I wake up to Eren's eyes on mine and his arms around me. He smiles as I wake up
and pulls me closer. "Morning Sunshine." He says and I just hide my face in his
chest.
"If you expect me to actually wake up right now, you are quite mistaken." I say
and he laughs.
"You are seriously the cutest thing in the morning. Remember the last time
Petra spent the night with us? I couldn't take my eyes off of you." He says and
I'm glad my face is hidden because I'm blushing now.
"Shut up." I mumble and I feel his chest vibrate as he laughs.
"I'll get you breakfast." He says and tries to get up, but I wrap my legs
around his waist.
"Nice try, but you're cuddling with me." I say and he laughs and leans his head
to kiss me.
"Clingy much?" He says with a laugh that only grows as I nod.
"I'm just savoring the moment. It's not everyday I get to wake up to this." I
say and he laughs.
"It will be, someday." He says and I look up to him.
"Were you serious when you said you want to marry me?" I ask and bite my lip,
not fully prepared for the answer.
"Yes, I was and I still am. Are you serious about liking that? Because I feel
like I indirectly proposed." He says and I laugh.
"Yes I am." I say and he smiles and kisses me.
"Good, because I want you for better or for worse." He says and I laugh to hide
my flushing face.
"But, you know, I don't know if I want it anytime soon." I say and he smiles.
"Good, because I'm only seventeen." He says and laugh as his face drops. "Fuck,
we've been having sex illegally." He says in a harsh whisper and I smirk.
"That's hot." I say and he rolls his eyes.
"Kinky," he says and my smirk doesn't fall.
"I think that's you. How do you feel about morning sex, dear?" I say and his
face morphs into a look of lust and embarrassment.
"What did you just call me?" He says and I move to straddle him.
"Dear. Do you like that? Or how about hun? Or babe? Something to show just how
much I love you. Maybe I should just stick to Bright Eyes." I say and he hides
his face.
"Stop it." He groans as I peel his hands off of his face.
"Fine, I'll stop. For now, Bright Eyes." I say and maneuver my arms around his
neck and lay on his naked body. I prop my chin on his chest to see his worried
look. His eyes are a bit glazed over and he's looking up, not really at
anything, with a scowl.
I reach and put a hand on his face and he jumps a bit. "You okay?" I ask and he
looks down.
"I had a nightmare last night." He say and I frown.
"That bad?" I ask and he nods.
"I don't know, I feel like they're getting better sometimes and other times, I
don't." He says and looks in my eyes. Sometimes I have to remember to breathe
when he does that, just looks at me with those blue eyes of his. I rub the back
of his neck with one of my hands.
"I'm sorry." I say, because this is something I know I can't help with.
Nightmares are inevitable. I still have them, but I guess that's why I can only
sleep with Eren. Something about his presence calms me. I wonder if he knows
just how far he's pulled me under.
I wasn't exaggerating last night when I said he practically saved me. I mean,
no wonder he's such a big factor in my life. He's turning me into a softie and
I can't bring myself to care. Not when he looks this worried. He wraps his arms
around me waist and pulls me close.
"It was nice though cause I woke up to you." He says and my heart melts in my
chest. I set my cheek on his chest and he buries his nose in my hair.
"And I'm the cheesy one?" I ask and he laughs.
"We're both cheesy as hell, but you wear it better." He says and I groan.
"I feel like we're that couple. Are we that couple?" I ask and he pauses.
"I feel like we're close, but we're not as negligent to other people." He says
and I smile.
"I can deal with that. I still have to scold Hanji and Erwin for last night." I
say and he laughs.
"Come on. You looked adorable with that crown. It was way too big for you."
"I deal with many things to big for me. My friends, my boyfriend, my dick." I
say and he slaps my shoulder.
"No shit, I'm not sure if I can walk." He says and I laugh.
"Same here. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to switch for round two." I say and he
laughs.
"It's gonna be awkward as hell getting out of here."
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
Later, we went home and had a normal day. I had lunch with Hannes, read some
sign language textbook, called Armin and talked until we were about to pass
out, then went to bed. What isn't normal is how I wake up. I wake screaming.
Like, literally screaming.
I force myself to stop screaming until I hear I knock on the door. A small bit
of my mind registers this is Hannes as the rest of my mind assumes the worst
and I start screaming again. It's like when you hear a noise in a house and
know it's a mouse or something, but can't sleep anyway out of fear, but ten
times worse.
I can't even tell for sure it's Hannes and it's terrifying as someone opens the
door and the sensible part of my mind is gone, so I jump out of bed and move to
the furthest part of the room.
He's gonna hurt me.
I feel an overwhelming sense of panic and it made me want to scream, cry, punch
something, and die all at the same time. He comes closer and I do one of those
things and my fist connected with his jaw.
I go to swing again, but he grabs my fist. He does this with my other fist and
turns me so that my face is to the ground and my hands are behind my back. I
hear his voice behind me, but it does nothing.
"Eren, calm down. Everything is okay." He says, but I can't relax at his words.
They don't even sound like his. Everything seems weird. I can't really see
anything, my heart is beating too fast to be healthy, and I can't think. My
mind is at fight or flight and neither are available to me.
I start thrashing around until I suddenly feel a overwhelming sense of calm.
I'm about to pass out when I hear Hannes' voice. "It's okay, just sleep." And
sleep I do.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
I wake from a dreamless sleep in my bed with a pair of familiar arms around me.
I look up to see worried sky blue eyes looked down at me through his glasses he
only wears at night.
"Hey Ar. What are you doing here?" I say and fuck does my throat kill. My voice
sounds scratchy and broken. Armin sighs.
"Hannes called the three of us. Do you remember anything?" He asks and I look
by the side of my bed to see Mikasa staring at me with unreadable eyes and Levi
standing next to me, leaning against the wall.
"No, I don't remember. What happened?" I ask and he looks up to Levi, who sits
on the bed next to us.
"You had a panic attack. A pretty bad one from what Hannes said. He used some
pressure point to make you pass out." Levi says and looks down.
I look to Mikasa to see her not meeting my eyes. She's hiding her emotions and
I can feel it, so I grab her hand and she looks up at me. "I'm fine." I say and
she sighs and I turn to the other two. "Really, I am. Did Hannes say why I
might've had it?" I ask, although I'm not sure I want to know the answer.
"A nightmare. Apparently you were screaming for a good five minutes." Armin
says and I let out a short laugh.
"That explains why my throat hurts like a bitch." I say and I can tell
everybody tenses a bit at that. Fuck, are my vocal cords okay?
"You can talk, so that's good." Mikasa says and I nod.
"Should I see the doctor or something?" I ask Armin and he nods.
"Yeah, but in the morning." He says and I pause at that.
"What time is it?" I ask and he moves and pulls out his phone.
"3:30." Armin say and my eyes widen.
"Fuck, you guys didn't have to come here this early." I say and Armin just
shushes me and runs his fingers through my hair.
"It's okay. We told Hannes to tell us if something like this happened." He says
and that upsets me a bit.
"Why do you guys care so much? And did you know this was gonna happen?" I ask
and Armin's gaze turns from comforting to serious.
"I found you cutting yourself in my shower, Eren. Of course I knew something
like this would happen." He says and I look down.
"We care because we love you." Mikasa says and Levi looks up to me.
"You should try to sleep again. We can stay if you want." He says and I nod.
"That'd be great." I say and we all squeeze together on my small ass bed. It's
not long after we all say "goodnight" that I fall asleep.
 
 
Levi's POV
 
 
I've never heard a scream quite that pained. I was up in an instant as Eren
starts screaming. He started flailing his arms and legs around, hitting Armin
in the process. I look to Armin and he nods.
"I'll get his legs." He say and moves to hold Eren down. I sit on his stomach
and grab both of his hands to pin him down as Mikasa wakes up.
"What the..." She starts, but seem to understand something is wrong and goes to
help Armin. I move my hips on Eren, my hands being occupied, to wake him up and
surprisingly, he does.
What also surprises me is how green his eyes look. They're fogged over like
they do when he panics and it's making me nervous. "Eren, it's okay. You need
to calm down." I say soothing words to him, but it does nothing to calm his
down. In fact, he only yells more.
"Stop!" He screams and I ease a bit of my weight off of him just in case.
"Please, calm down before you hurt yourself." I say and he goes rigid.
"Don't hurt me!" He yells, but it's not nearly as loud or as brash. It's weak
and scared and my heart shatters. Does he even recognize us?
"It's just us. Armin, Mikasa, and Levi. You're safe with us. You're safe." I
say and it's like a switch how quickly he stops. He just relaxes into the bed
and stares up at me.
I watch the life seep back into his eyes and as soon as they look normal, I'm
being pulled into his arms as he begins to weep. Mikasa and Armin move to sit
next to me with grim looks on their face.
They've never seen him like this.
They've never seen it to this extent.
But I have. And I know it's best to let him cry himself out and say
reassurances to him. "You're safe. It's gonna be okay." I say to him and he
just pulls me close, wrapping his legs around me.
Mikasa falls onto Armin's shoulder and he lays his head on hers. Armin reaches
forward and takes one of Eren's hands, but I know he regrets it when Eren
starts squeezing. He gives me a look like he's surprised I'm not dying with
Eren's arm around my waist, but I guess you just get used to some things.
Mikasa just lays there, staring, but it doesn't take an Armin to know she gonna
start crying soon. Eren is sweating bullets under me to the point it's a bit
gross, but I just hold him until he's calm. That eventually happens and his
weeping has just turned into a whimpering that shouldn't come from such a
strong man.
"I-I'm so-rry." He stutters against my chest.
"It's okay. You're gonna be okay. Just calm down." I say and he lets out a
stuttered breath.
"N-no..." He says, but I move so that we're face to face.
"Eren, it's okay." I say and he shakes his head frantically.
"Did I hurt any of you?" He cries out and shuts his eyes like he can't bare the
answer. I reach up and put my hands on either cheek and he opens his eyes
again.
"We're fine. Don't worry. We're fine, your safe, it's gonna be okay." I say,
repeating things I know will calm him down. He lets go of Armin's hand and
moves that arm back around me, but I move us so that we're sitting and he's not
beneath me anymore.
He continues to cry in my arms and Mikasa just rubs his back with one of her
hands, looking awfully tired. Finally, he's slipping out of consciousness, but
not before he says something that just about kills me. "I couldn't save her."
He says, voice quiet, but loud enough we all hear it and that's when Mikasa
loses it.
She cries much like Eren did, falling into Armin. I decide I need to change
Eren's clothes since I can now see that he's wet... in a aplace that shouldn't
be wet. I lay him down and go over to his dresser to pull out a sweater and
some pajama pants.
I slowly, gently pull off his pants, not trying to trigger him. To be honest, I
think he's to tired to notice. I pull them off and I don't think either of them
were prepared to see his hips. They have red marks that I'm not sure to this
day who exactly caused, all over his hip bone to his ass cheeks, stopping short
of the crease.
I look up to see Mikasa crying into Armin's shirt as he starts to cry too. They
know what happened to him, but never the full extent. I put the pants on Eren
and look back up to them. "I don't know if you guys want to see his upper
body." I say and Armin shakes his head.
"I've seen it. She probably should too." He says with a strong voice that just
goes to show how mature Armin really is. So I slowly take off his shirt and
Mikasa lets out a whimper as Armin lets out a sharp breath. It's really not
pretty, his back. The scars take up most of his body, stopping around his
shoulders.
Armin is staring with his mouth open as if he forgot how bad it was and Mikasa
has tears freely flowing down her face. Armin looks down to Mikasa and pulls
her closer. I put Eren's wet clothes in a hamper after I put his sweater on.
When I come back, Mikasa is weeping, but lying down. I walk up to her and put a
hand on her back as she calmed down. I know Mikasa. She's like a sister to me
and I know she needed this. She'll be okay in the morning as long as Eren is
okay. I rub her back until she falls asleep on Armin and he lays down with her.
"Go to sleep, Armin. I'll watch him." I say and he smiles.
"Levi, thank you." He says and I look down.
"It's nothing." I say and he grabs my hand with the one that's not holding
Mikasa. "
No, really. I mean it. He's been through a lot and if you didn't notice from
his speech at the diner, you've helped him the whole way. I was talking to
Erwin and he told me how much you love him and I couldn't ask for a better
person for my best friend." He says and I look down to Eren.
"I just wish I could help him now." I say and he squeezes my hand.
"He's gonna be okay. We'll just have to take him to the doctor's tomorrow." He
says and I smile to him.
"Go to bed. You need to sleep." I say and he grins back.
"Night." He says and lays his head down as I lean back so I'm laying down
between Armin and Eren. I decide to stay awake for the night to keep watch over
Eren. It ends up paying off when I feel arms wrap around my waist.
I crane my head around to see Eren with his head smushed against my back. "You
okay?" I ask and he shakes his head. I maneuver us so that we're face to face
to see him lightly crying.
"It actually hurts. These nightmares. It brings me physical pain." He says and
I feel my heart break again.
"I take it they're worse than normal." I say and he lets out a cold laugh.
"Oh yeah they are." He says and I reach up to wipe one of his tears away.
"What are they about?" I ask and he pause for a second before his eyes get
really wide and he starts to shake. I take his face in my hands and force his
eyes to meet mine.
"You're okay. You're safe. It's gonna be okay." I say to him and I can tell by
his eyes that he's listening. "You're safe. It's gonna be okay." I repeat it
over and over like a mantra, waiting until he calms down. His breathing is
calmer, but shallow and he shakes slightly.
"It's... it's my mom." He says and it makes sense. I nod and wipe down of the
tears from his face.
"I'm so sorry." I say and he smiles weakly.
"It's not your fault. I thought I was done with the screaming years ago." He
says and I guess my face looks confused, because he looks down before he starts
talking again.
"Right after my mom died, these started. Sleeping was terrifying. If I screamed
in my sleep, I would wake up to Grisha beating me. I eventually learned to not
sleep until I was too exhausted to dream." He say and looks back up. "I don't
know what made this one this bad. It's been ages. Maybe it was seeing Grisha, I
don't know." He says and I'm confused again.
"Wouldn't it have happened sooner? That was two days ago." I say and he looks
down to hide his face and I have a moment of realization.
"Eren, how often do you sleep?" I ask and he turns his head to the side.
"Not too often." He says quietly, but I take his face, still in my hands, and
turn him towards me.
"Eren, have you slept the past two nights?" I ask and he slowly shakes his
head. I probably have a look close to a hovering mother because he tucks his
head bashfully.
"Is there anyway I can help?" I ask and he still doesn't meet my eyes as he
shakes his head.
"I'll just wait for the storm to pass." He says and I kiss his forehead.
"I'll wait with you." I say and his head darts up.
"No. You need to sleep and..."
"And so do you. So I'll wait." I say and I know he knows that he's fighting an
uphill battle and neither of us have the energy for that, so he just wraps his
arms around my waist and snuggles into me in a way that makes my chest warm up.
"Looks like you're stuck with me then." He says and I smile.
"I wouldn't want it any other way."
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
The next day, I took Eren to the hospital. I dropped him off and waited until
he came out with the doctor. I walk up to her and she smiles. "It's nice to see
you, Levi." She says and I smile. I talked to her a few times during Eren's
stays here, so we know each other now.
"Nice to see you too." I say and her face turns serious.
"It's become obvious to me now that Eren has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and
depression." She says as he walks away. I probably shouldn't be hearing this,
but I have a feeling they don't care at this point.
"I've given him sleeping medications, but he's gonna need counseling now. As
for his throat, amazingly everything is fine. A bit red, but fine." She says,
but I'm still worried as hell.
"He can still live at home, right?" I ask and she bits her lip.
"Possibly. But, I guess the main question is, has he tried to commit suicide
again?" She says in a hushed tone and I shake my head.
"No, he hasn't done that." I say and she sighs in relief.
"Okay. I did notice the new mark on his arm." She says and I feel my eyes
widen. I look over to where Eren is standing, looking out the window, to see
his wearing a long sleeve shirt again. It's summer.
Dr. Grey puts a hand on my shoulder and I turn back to her. "Could I have a
word with you privately?" She asks and I nod before following her. Once we're
in a room, she sits down and I lean against the counter.
"So what's up?" I ask and she sighs.
"I don't really know how to say this, but Eren has told me something's about
you that concerned me." She says and I freeze. There's no way he told her about
me being a prostitute, right? I told him I got tested and I'm clean and...
"He's been telling me about your sleeping habits." She says and all the air
leaves my lungs as I sigh in relief. Why even doubt him? He's too good for me,
I swear. But why did he mention it?
"I think you should go to a counselor too. You seem to have a problem similar
to Eren, but you don't seem to have the same level of depression as him.
Actually, you don't seem to have it at all." She says and I nod.
I have my bad days, but I've past the point of where I was. Eren is still too
early in recovery to be anything but careful. She smiles to me and turns to get
a notepad. "I'm writing you a prescription too. Eren may end up getting another
during counseling." She says and I find myself confused.
"Although I doubt Eren cares, should you really be telling me this?" I ask and
she smile politely.
"Well, you see, Eren is an unusual circumstance. He has just been adopted, but
he's so close to eighteen that I asked the board to push it so that whoever he
spends most of his nights with would be the person to know the details of his
health. I asked and he said he spends most nights with you." She says and I nod
shamelessly. Although we have had sex a couple of times, we mostly have nights
like before where we cuddle and try to sleep, just being with one another.
"So, I guess I'm also, in a way, recommending that you should be his monitor.
Both of you can try and sleep and you can watch his depression." She says and I
take a second to process what she just said.
"You're telling me I have to sleep with my boyfriend every night? Like a
prescription?" I ask and she laughs.
"Maybe not every night, but as constantly as possible. You've helped him down a
very long road and, correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to plan on remaining
a constant in his life." She says and I nod, so she continues.
"That's exactly what he needs. I'm also aware that you two are a year apart, so
maybe the quality time would be good. What he needs is a constant in his life
and normally I wouldn't say a significant other, but it's become quite obvious
to me that you're the right fit." She says and I blush, but still find myself
way too confused.
"So back up here, what do you think is wrong with me?" I ask and her face turns
slightly more serious.
"I think it's rather apparent that you have PTSD as well." She says and I look
down.
"Oh." I say and she hums.
"I don't know what you went through, but I think you should see a counselor as
well. I have a few I can recommend or you can just come and see me." She says
and I nod.
"I think I'll just see you." I say and she smiles.
"Good. We'll get started Monday. In the meantime, watch out for Eren. There's
no telling how he'll take the news." She says and I nod. I hadn't even thought
about how he might react to it. I follow her out and we see Eren looking out
the window pensively. He turns to us and rolls his eyes before turning back
around.
"You just take him home and get the prescription. I'll take care of everything
else." Dr. Grey says and hands me a slip. I smile and nod her a thanks before
she walks away. I turn to where Eren is and take a breath. I have a feeling
this won't be an easy talk.
I take one step towards him before he turns around and gets up. He walks past
me, scowling, grabbing my hand. He pulls me along with him as he takes me out
to my car. I let him lead, knowing he's probably on a very dangerous edge right
now.
He goes to the the passenger side door and gets in, slamming it behind him. I
move to get in to, but Eren's face as he stares forward makes me hesitate. I
shouldn't just take him home and we sure as hell shouldn't stay here. I think
of a place as I climb in the car.
I drive him over to the place and he gets out of the car. "What are we doing at
the soccer field?" He asks as I start to follow him.
"Before everything with your dad, I came here to think. It's kind of my safe
place and now I want to share it with you." I say and he turns to me.
"Levi..." He says softly then stops. Then he look up to me and gives me a small
smile. "Thank you." He says and walks up to me, but I sit down and pat the spot
in the grass next to me.
He sits down before fully laying down while looking at the clouds. We stay in
silence for awhile before he finally says something. "I hate it. I hate this
whole thing. I just want to be done with them!" He says and it takes me a
second to realize the "them". I guess I never realized how much his mother's
killer affected him.
"I hate that all of this still affects me. That it literally makes me sick. I'm
sick. Fuck. I hate that." He says in disgust as a tear rolls down his cheeks
towards the grass. I start to run my fingers through his hair to calm him down
even through I know it's pointless. He starts crying slow until he starts
talking again.
"I just don't know how to get past it all! I don't even know what happened to
the guy that killed my mom, but Grisha is in jail. And here I am, having to
take meds because they fucked me up that much. I feel like I should be able to
just get over it, but I can't!" He says he's weeping by the time he's done
talking. He just lets it out as he lays there in the grass.
He starts signing something that I haven't learned yet and it really starts to
worry me as his eyes squeeze shut. I move so that I'm laying down next to him
and he curls into me, seemingly ready to sleep, but he signs one more thing I
understand. "I guess I'm just tired of this shit." He says and it worries me
even more.
I kiss his forehead as he calms down. "I know." I whisper to him, knowing
there's not much else I can say. And I know. I definitely know what he's going
through.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's been three years.
Is that long enough to get over it? I guess I just learned how to cope with it,
but it's still unnerving to me.
Eren suddenly lifts his head and presses his lips on mine. It's soft and a bit
weak and I can feel his lip wobble, but he's staying strong and I didn't know
how much I needed that until he did it. He pulls back and puts his forehead on
mine, eyes worried looking.
"Are you okay?" He asks and I can't help but feel my chest bloom a bit at that.
"I'm okay. Focus on yourself here." I say and he shakes his head.
"Then who will focus on you?" He says and I find it amazing just how much he
gets me.
"Shut up." A laugh bubbles up with and Eren starts laughing.
"Oh my god, that was a giggle." He says and I roll my eyes.
"Was not." I say and Eren laughs again.
"Was too and it was adorable." He says and kisses me. He tries to pull away,
but I tread one hand in the back of his hair. I need this. I need him. Because,
although I still don't understand how, he makes this easier. And "easy" is a
word I never thought I'd see in my life.
 
 
Eren's POV
 
 
When Levi came home with me, he told Hannes everything while I went upstairs to
change. I pull off my shirt to look at the fresh set of stitches on my arm. I
was able to wrap my arm well enough to get me to the hospital with Levi
knowing, but I wouldn't be surprised if he figured it out.
The stitches are ugly and protruding, but the cut itself wasn't much better,
going along the outside of my wrist. I was about to pull on a new shirt when
Levi walked in. I put my arm behind my back in an effort to look casual, but it
doesn't work if Levi's face is anything to go by.
He walks up to me and grabs my arm, seeing the black string in the skin. Then
he looks up at me with a set jaw. "Why aren't you telling me this stuff?" He
asks and I look down. I don't answer and he huffs. 
"Eren, this isn't okay. If something happens, I want to know about it." He says
and I nod, not meeting his eyes. "Do you not trust me?" He asks and my head
snaps up.
"Of course I trust you." I say and it's his turn to look down.
"Then why do you keep hiding things from me? I just want to help." He says and
I put my hand on his cheek, making him look up.
"That's just it, this isn't your problem to fix." I say and his eyebrows
furrow. "Levi, I love you, but you can't save me. I need to do this myself.
Neither of us are all that stable and we can't act like this is something
someone else can do for us." I say and he nods.
"But, you a bit wrong. You need help, not just from me. There's a reason we
have to see a counselor. We do it ourselves, but we also need others help." He
says and I pause at that, but he fills the silence.
"You really did help me, but it was my decision not to die. You were the reason
I made that decision. Now you need a reason to not cut yourself. A reason to
live." He says and I nod. He takes my hands from his face and guides me over to
my bed and we sit down.
"Okay, so what do you think should be my reason?" I ask and he shakes his head.
"That's not how it works. It has to be something that means a lot to you." He
says and I nod. I don't want to live for anything I hate, I want to live for
what I love. I want to be happy in life. I need to believe I can be happy with
myself.
There's Levi, but that just doesn't feel right. I can't put that on him. I
don't want us to lean on each other just to make it. There's Mikasa, but she
can barely look at me when I'm this broken. There's Armin, but he has his own
life. His own life. Mom.
"Eren, are you okay?" Levi asks and I look up. He wipes the tear I didn't know
I was crying from my eyes and I smile. My mom. I want to live for my mom. Live
the life she never did. So I lean my forehead on Levi's, smile, and know that
this is a step. A step to living on my own.
If I just focus on myself, then I'll end up on the bridge again. And I can't do
that. I can't do that to my friends, Levi, and my mom. Because she didn't get
the chance to live.
So I'll live for her.
***** Firsts *****
Chapter Notes
     Heyyyyy! So, I have a feeling this chapter won't be an audience
     favorite due to the first part, but I feel like this needs to be
     brushed upon. I like this chapter in terms of development, but I feel
     like it could be better written, so sorry:/ I hope ya'll enjoy it!
Eren's POV
 
 
The dream I had that night was probably my worst yet. And the scary part wasn't
it wasn't about my mom or Grisha: it was about Levi. It started out as just a
fight and then he slapped me across the face.
Then he grabbed my collar and pushed me up against the wall. "You little shit,
you think you can get away with that?" He spat and me and he pulled back to
punch me, but I was woken by Levi kissing me. And I sat up and scooted away. So
here we are now, him staring at me in shock and me trying to catch up with
myself.
"What's the..."
"Stop!" I yell before he can say anything and his eyes widen.
"Eren, just tell me what's wrong." He says softly and I feel an overwhelming
sense of guilt at the fact my subconscious would think he would hurt me. He
wouldn't hurt me.
Right?
I look down and pull my blanket closer to me. "It's no...nothing" I say and I
hear Levi sigh. Then he surprises me.
"Eren, why do you keep doing this!" He yells, not too loudly, but enough that I
look up at him in shock.
"I'm sor..."
"I've told you everything! I don't get why you're so set on keep this stuff a
secret!" He yells and I bite my lip.
"Its not like that." I say he raises his hand and my heart stops. I back away a
few feet before I realize he's running it through his hair. Then all anger
fades from his face.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry." He says and I shake my head.
"Please go." I say and his face turns sorrowful.
"Eren..."
"Please go!" I yell at him and his face falls into sadness and I look down.
Then I see a small shadow approach me and I look up to see a small hand held
out in front of me.
I know this is a sign of peace, as if I'm an injured animal, but I'm somehow
comforted by it. I reach out slowly, making sure he doesn't do anything, and
tread my hand in his. Then I yank him to me and just hold him close.
I listen to his fast pulse on his neck as I calm myself down. Tears trickle
down my cheek and I push away from him. "I'm sorry." I say and she shakes his
head.
"It's my fault. You shouldn't have to tell me anything you don't want to." He
says and I nod. He takes his hand out of mine and grabs his pillow and moves it
to the floor before getting a blanket from my closet.
"What are you doing?" I ask and he looks up at me.
"You told me to leave, so I'm sleeping on the floor." He says and I'm not sure
if I'm more guilty or flattered.
"No, come back." I say and extend my arms to him. He smiles and walks over to
me, kneeling on the bed. I grab him and pull him down to me and he groans.
"I need a pillow." He says and I move his head to my chest.
"I'll be your pillow." I say and he laughs.
"You cheesy shit." He says, but I know he's smiling. And I am too. But it
falters when I realize something.
"Does that count as our first fight?" I ask and he pauses.
"Yeah, I guess it does." He says and I can actually say I'm okay with it.
"So, I'll try to tell you more if you don't yell at me when I wake up." I say
and he nods.
"I can deal with that." He says and I wrap my arms tighter around him.
"I love you." I say and he moves closer to me.
"I love you too. I'm sorry I blew up." He say and I squeeze him.
"It's okay. I'm sorry I had a nightmare about you beating me." I say and he
moves his head up and looks at me.
"I promise I'll never hit you. I can't promise you many things, but I can
promise you that." He says and for some reason, it's really relieving.
"Thank you." I say and he sighs.
"I don't want you to ever think I would. I might get mad at you, but I'm never
gonna stoop that low. I love you way too much for that." He says and I lean my
head down and kiss his forehead.
"I know you wouldn't. It's just that... I guess you can never be sure." I say
and he frowns.
"Well, you can with me." He says and my heart is taken over by a feeling I
don't get often. The feeling of safety. And for once, it's like everything is
lifted off of my shoulders and I can breathe.
It occurs to me just how perfect Levi and I are together. Well, let me rephrase
that. We're not perfect in any way. We're gonna fight, we're both, I guess in a
way, mentally ill, and we come from rough past, but together, we just work.
I don't think I could ask for anything better in a love than the feeling of
being safe. And of just being in love. I'm just madly in love. Head over heels.
Over the moon. And clićhe you can think of, that's how I feel about Levi. And I
think he feels similarly.
The thought of that makes me insanely happy as I pull him closer to me. I just
feel like 'I love you' doesn't explain the depth of how I feel, but I'm not
very eloquent with words, so I try anyway.
"God I love you so much. Don't think I'm being redundant. It's just I get
overwhelmed with how much I love you and I have to say it." I say and his face
blushes so much that I can see it in the dark.
"Too." He says quietly and I smile as he shyly buries his face in my chest. I
hold him in my arms and know that I will be with this man for the rest of my
life.
I'm gonna fight for it. Fight to make that mean so much more than shitty
nightmares and a funeral before my time has come. I want to fight for a good
life with him.
So I close my eyes to fall sleep and pray I don't wake up screaming.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
Levi ended up staying in my bed and we both managed to fall asleep. I wake up
with his still head on my chest and one of his legs draped over me and it's
honestly so fucking cute.
Sometimes in life, you have to sit back and smell the roses and this is one of
those moments. I just get to see the man I love sleep peacefully. Or at least I
hope peacefully.
He wraps his leg under mine and uses it to pull himself closer and be nuzzles
his head into me chest. I really don't know exactly what changed from us being
just friends into more. Maybe nothing changed at all and we were just always
like this. Maybe that spark from that first night never went out, but I was too
preoccupied to notice until it was a burning flame.
All I know is that now I can't live without him. I would normally hate saying
that, having someone be that important to me, for someone to hold that much
power over me, but he does and I don't see a reason to deny it.
Levi's eyes suddenly flicker open and he looks up at me with a small yawn.
"Mornin." He says sleepily and I smile.
"Good morning." I say and he close his eyes and lays his head back down. He
sighs as his hand finds mine and threads them together.
"Wanna actually do something today?" He asks with a yawn and I nod.
"Yeah, like a real something. Not like going to the grocery store or some shit
like that." I say and he laughs a little.
"But in a few minutes. I just really want to cuddle right now." He says and I
try to hold back a laugh, but it doesn't work and he looks up and glares at me.
"What?" He says and I smirk at him.
"You really like to cuddle don't you?" I say and he flips me off.
"Fuck you, I like snuggling." He says and I full on laugh at that, making him
scowl. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer as he groans. "You're an
asshole."
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
By the time we go to Levi's house and get stuff, it's nearly 6:00. So, we're
walking from the car up to some area Levi says he knows. "Hanji showed me this
part of the beach. Practically no one comes over here." He says to me and I
nod.
It's rather remote, probably a mile from any people actually at a beach. We set
up a blanket and I lay down after taking off my shirt while Levi throws
sunscreen at me. "I need your help." He says and I laugh at the pout on his
face.
I look to the bottle and laugh even more. "SPF 50? Really?" I say and he
scoffs.
"Shut up. You're extra sassy today." He says and I smile.
"Fine, I'll be good." I say and he sits down in front of me and takes his shirt
off. His back muscles are really something to see. They're strong and broad,
but not awkwardly bulky.
I pour some of the sunscreen in my hand and rub them together to warm them up.
I place my hands on his back and start to rub it in. I take my time massaging
all up his back and shoulders.
He sighs as I reach the arch of his back and I'm suddenly very happy this is a
private beach. I knead it in, not staying down there too long, before rubbing
all down one of his arms. I run my fingers along the rippling muscle as I
realize this is the first time I've ever just taken time to explore Levi, see
what he likes.
I move to his other arm and give it the same treatment before I move to the
front of him and straddle him. His eyes widen a bit and he's starting to sweat,
but I don't realize he's hard until I move to put the lotion on his face. I
smile at him as he blushes. "You're just taking your sweet time." He say and I
just grind down on him.
"And you seem so upset about it." I say as I grind my hips down on him. I rub
the sunscreen onto his face before moving down. I take my time rubbing his
chest and he just moans into it as I rub him down. By the time I reach his
pants, he's panting, obviously trying not to cum and I think I'm getting laid.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
We lay down in the afterglow of sex and I just hold him, hoping he brought
another blanket. "I'm gonna clean off." I say and Levi holds onto my arm.
"Not without me." He says and pulls on me. Amused by the situation, I pick him
up bridal style and carry him over to the water. "Don't look so smug." He says
and I try to hold back a laugh as we get to the water.
I walk in knee height and stop. Levi looks up to me for a second before his
eyes widen in realization. "Don't you dare!" He yells as I let go of him and he
falls into the water he comes up from the water and I swear he's steaming
angry.
"You little shit." He says and I'm not sure whether to hide or laugh. I go with
the latter and and smirks. "Yeah, it's pretty funny. Now give me a hug." He
says and walks towards me with open arms and I continue to laugh as I walk away
from him.
"Oh no you don't. Nice try." I say, but my foot bumps into a rock and I fall
into the water. I resurface and Levi is chuckling at me.
"Karma." He says and I roll my eyes. I fall back in and start swimming around,
Levi staring at me while I swim nakedly. He's just smirking as I move around
and rolls his eyes before going back to the shore and I go to catch up with
him.
We go back to the blanket and he stops short. "Shit, this is our living room
blanket." He says and I laugh. He starts to walk over to the truck and I'm
finding it surprising he can walk at all.
I gather up the... used blanket and bring it to the truck as well. Levi pulls
out a new one and hands it to me before taking the one covered in cum.
"This is actually disgusting. We're going to a laundry mat before we get home."
He says and I nod. I go back to our spot and set up the blanket, sitting on it
as Levi brings something that surprises me, but he's been doing that a lot
today.
He has his guitar and a picnic basket I don't remember him getting. He walks
over and sits next to me and I find myself thinking over all the fucking
romantic movies I've ever watched to see if there was something like this
because there's got to be.
He looks up at me with a confused face like this is totally normal. "What?" He
asks and I lean over and peck his lips.
"Nothing. I just realized that I'm not the most cheesy one here." I say and he
blushes.
"Well, this is our first real date, so I wanted to make it special." He says
and it's my turn to blush. Then my eyes brown knit together.
"How is this only our first date?" I ask and Levi looks up in thought.
"I'm not really sure. I mean, prom maybe counts, but the rest was mostly
hanging out, I guess." He says and I nod.
"So we've had sex and I told you I wanted to marry you, but we haven't had a
real date?" I ask and Levi's eyebrows knit together.
"I don't know if that means we're awesome or we did something wrong." He says
and I laugh.
"I think we did something right." I say and he smiles a great, crooked grin to
me that makes me remember that even a smile can give someone a heart attack.
He opens the basket and pulls out a tupperware container and a glass bottle. He
must notice my hesitant look, because he turns the label to me. "Grape juice."
He says and I relax a bit. He pulls out two solo cups and hands me mine.
After he opens the bottle and pours it for both of us, he holds his out.
"Cheers." He says and I laugh and bonk mine with his. I open the tupperware and
smile as I pull out cold pizza. I take a bite of it and it's the kind of dough
that just melts in your mouth.
We eat and drink in silence for awhile until we both have our fill and I lay
down while Levi picks up his guitar. He starts strumming a really calm song and
I look up to him.
He really loves music. You can see it in he way he sways back and forth with a
content smile on his face as if he doesn't have to guard how he feels. It's all
out in the open for the world to see.
He looks down at me and I know I'm just beaming because I really love when Levi
plays for me. "Sing me something." I say and he sighs happily and nods. He
turns so his front is turned towards me and he changes the capo placement.
"I wanted to try this song, so don't laugh if it sounds bad." He says and I
think back to our first day when he played for me. Things have changed so much
since then, but Levi's eyes are still the same shade of blue, practically
glowing in the setting sunlight.
He starts picking at the strings in ways that made the song sound whole, like
it doesn't need anymore. He plays the intro before taking a breath and singing.
 
 
His eyes and words are so icy
Oh but he burns
Like rum on the fire
Hot and fast and angry
As he can be I walk my days on a wire
It looks ugly, but it's clean
Oh mamma, don't fuss over me
The way he tells me I'm his and he is mine
Open hand or closed fist would be fine
The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine
 
He sings it so softly, gently. His voice is beautiful. Pure, but raspy you
don't realize how much emotion you can be put into a song without being
stupidly dramatic. It makes my heart flutter as I watch him sing.
 
His fight and fury is fiery
Oh but he loves
Like sleep to the freezing
Sweet and right and merciful
I'm all but washed
In the tide of his breathing
And it's worth it, it's divine
I have this some of the time
The way he tells me I'm his and he is mine
Open hand or closed fist would be fine
The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine
 
He finishes and I take the guitar out of his hands and set it down. Then, I
reach up and wrap a hand around the back of his head and bring him down to a
kiss. It's slow and sweet and I can taste his grape juice in his mouth. I can
feel him smiling against my mouth and I match it, if not double it.
He pulls back and still has that grin. "I'm gonna take that as you saying you
liked it." He says and I laugh.
"Yeah, I did." I say and he lays down next to me and I feel like everything has
a filter from the way the sun shines against everything as it sets. He puts a
hand on the side of my face and strokes my cheek with his thumb as he looks
into my eyes.
I know how stupid it may seem, but I feel like we don't even need to talk when
he does that. We just know each other well enough that sometimes words aren't
needed. Even when I couldn't talk, I felt like as close to Levi as I do now
because we don't need anything but each other.
Levi closes his eyes and lets out a content sigh. "Have you ever just wondered
how something could be so perfect?" He asks and I scoot closer to him.
"Yeah. You." I say and he blushes and glances down.
"I... was gonna say today, but thanks." He says and I laugh.
"You're cute when you get like this." I say and he tucks his head under my
chin. I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him close.
Today has been great, but I know something needs to be said. This deserves to
be explained. "I'm scared." I say and I feel Levi shift under me.
"I'm scared that I'm gonna hit rock bottom again. Scared of everything
changing. When everything happened with my mom, it was like a switch.
Everything suddenly just changed and I'm scared that history repeats itself.
I'm scared that I'm gonna be like him. I'm just scared." I say and Levi pulls
me closer by my shirt.
"I get it." He says quietly and I take a breath.
"I don't tell you this stuff because I don't want you to see me as weak as I
am. I just wanna be normal." I say and he tilts his head up and kisses my chin.
"You're not weak. You're one of the strongest people I know and I know it's
hard. And I get it. I really do." He says and I pull him close. I know this
whole thing is is hurting him, but I just wish I could lessen the burden a bit.
But I can't. We have our own burdens to bare and if I try to help, I could just
end up doubling his.
We've come a long way, but we're nowhere near over. I know I'll always have
problems like this, but that doesn't mean they have to ruin me. I can still
love, still live.
I can still be happy.
And I am.
***** What He Did *****
Chapter Notes
     Hey ya'll! So, this fix is coming to an end. I'm thinking two more
     chapters. For real this time. I love you all and you all have been
     amazingly supportive. You all have made this so amazing, so thank
     you! I've read every comment you guys left me and they all made me
     smile uncontrollably for days and really helped me. So, really, thank
     you so so much.
     So, for anyone who's interested, I'm working on another fic. As of
     right now, it has a lot of chapters, but it's nowhere near done right
     now. Like, it's maybe about half way... Maybe. It's a very slow
     build. I'm gonna be a lot better about posting once I'm done here.
     Anyway, I guess this is a triggering chapter. Kind of. I don't really
     know, just please be careful. Love you all! Enjoy:)
Eren's POV
 
 
Counseling. I hate counseling. Even though my counselor is my doctor and she's
pretty chill, it sucks. I sit in Dr. Grey's office and try to act like we're
just having some casual conversation as opposed to her picking at my brain.
I just don't like being treated like I'm unstable. I want to be stable. I want
to be okay. So why do I have to be here? But I'm here for one reason and one
reason only: Levi. He needs this too and said he'd only do it if I did.
So, here I am, letting myself be researched like an injured puppy, while trying
to stay sane.
"How do you feel about your father's trial?" She asks and I actually look up at
her.
"I'm fine. That was awhile ago. I couldn't even talk then." I say and her
eyebrows furrow in confusion.
"Have you heard about the new case?" She says and I sit up at that.
"There's a new trial? What about?" I ask and she looks rather uncomfortable.
"Um... he's been connected to dozens of murders and they're trying him to see
if he's guilty. The odds aren't in his favor." She says and I stop breathing.
"I'm sorry, how many?" I ask and she glances around the room.
"They didn't release a number, but..."
"Don't lie to me." I interrupt and her head snaps over to me in shock of my
outburst. "Sorry, but don't baby me." I say, much softer than before and look
down.
"Thirty-four." She say and I look back up at her. "Thirty-four people." She
says and I start shaking.
How did I not know? How has he gotten away with this for so long? So many
people. Could they have been saved if I had stood up for myself sooner?
 I thought it was just me. Just me being hurt by him, but that's just wishful
thinking. This leads me to a rather terrifying question. Was I next? I guess
Dr. Grey notices something is wrong, because she comes to sit next to me.
"Are you okay?" She asks and I nod, but my mind is reeling. I should have
suspected something after Isabel and Farlan, but there are so many? And did
they just decide to leave out the drug part? Am I gonna be brought into this?
Then a new thought pops up that has me off the couch and out the door.
Did they find out about Levi? I leave the hospital as quick I can to find Armin
in his car making out with Erwin, but I cockblock him by opening the door and
sitting in the front seat. Armin jumps and squeaks as Erwin glares at me, but
it soon falls when he looks at my face.
"What's up?" He says as I buckle in.
"Something's wrong. I need to see Levi." I say and Armin moves back to the
drivers seat. He starts the car and speeds down the road as fast as he can
without getting pulled over.
As soon as he stops in the Ackerman's driveway, I run out of the car as quick
as possible and pound on the door. Mikasa opens it with an anxious look on her
face. Fuck, that's not good.
"Is everything okay? Is he here?" I ask and she shakes her head.
"He got taken in for questioning since he was in the picture in the file. I
don't think they know anything." She says and my heart stops. Armin and Erwin
comes to a stop next to me and Mikasa moves to the side.
"Come in. We can wait together." She says and I nod, going past her and going
straight to the basement. I'm aware that it's a bit rude, but she doesn't
question it, just follows after me.
I go downstairs and sit on the couch, grabbing a pillow to hold close as I
catch my breath. What happens if they find out?
Actually, I know what happens. He goes to jail. For a long time. I know Levi
can survive in jail, but that doesn't make it any easier to live. Call me
selfish, but I can't live without him.
Armin sits down next to me and puts his arm around me as I catch my breath. "He
can't go to jail. Fuck, he can't." I say and she nods, shaking a bit.
"Everything will be okay." He says and I nod.
"I really hope so." I say and he leans in closer to put his head on my
shoulder. Neither Erwin nor Armin questions what's going on until Hanji gets
here too.
"So, what's so urgent?" She asks casually, unaware of the tension it the room.
"Levi was taken in for questioning on my father's murder trial." I say and the
three people ignorant to the situation jolt a bit.
"What?" Erwin asks in shock, jaw open a bit. I pull my pillow tighter, unable
to give a better answer.
"Grisha was connected with a lot of people's murders. Including Isabel and
Farlan's." Mikasa says as I start shaking. Fuck. I can't stand to just sitting
here. Not when they're questioning Levi like that.
"Eren?"
"What if they know?" I blurt out and bring my hands to my face.
"I doubt they know." Mikasa says and I look up at her.
"What if they do? What if something they say triggers Levi? He'd go to jail!
Fuck. He'd be in the same jail as Grisha. Oh fuck." I say and my shaking
becomes worse.
For once, no one has anything to say.
Why?
Because it's all too possible.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
After a couple hours, I suddenly hear footsteps come down the stairs and stand
up. I look over to see Levi and nearly die of relief. I run up to him and jump
on him, clinging to him like a koala to bamboo but not caring since he's in my
arms.
"Hey, it's okay." He says and I shake my head.
"No it's not. You scared me so badly." I say and he sighs.
"It's okay, I'm here." He says as I calm down. I let go of him as I look up to
see a purple bruise blossoming on his cheek.
"What happened?" I ask. Except it's not a question. It's a demand as I reach to
lightly stroke his cheek, wishing I could just wipe it off.
"I saw Grisha." He says and my eyes widen.
"Did he...?" I ask as I continue to stroke his cheek to get my point across.
Levi doesn't answer, just looks down.
An anger like I've never felt before fills me as I start to walk up the stairs,
but Levi grabs my hand. "What are you..."
"I'm gonna kill him." I say. I don't even recognize my own voice. It's broken
and harsh, fitting to how I feel at the moment. Levi doesn't let go, just pulls
me to him but I try to fight him.
"Let me go!" I yell and he looks down.
"I'm not letting you near him." He says quietly and I realize something's that
makes me fall down the one stair I'm on. I sound just like him.
"No. I..." I say, not even realizing I fell into Levi's arms instead of the
ground.
"It's gonna be okay." Levi says quietly, not even knowing I'm falling apart.
"No! No, this can't happen!" I yell as I start to cry. Levi moves to sit us on
the ground as I start to sob.
"Everything is fine. Calm down." He says like an actor reading a script, which
I guess is pretty close to true with just how unstable I am. Was he ever
stable? Was he like me? Am I like him?
"I'm just like him, aren't I?" I cry weakly into his shirt and he moves me so
we are face to face.
"Don't you dare say that." He says angrily, but I don't feel threatened. I
deserve anything I get.
"I want him to die, Levi. I want him to feel what he made all those people
feel. I want him to feel the pain I've felt. I want him to suffer. How sick is
that?" I say and he shakes his head.
"It's not. I understand. I feel the same way. Hell, why do you think I got hit
in the first place? It doesn't mean I'm as bad as him because he's not
innocent." Levi says and I shake my head.
"But he's still a soul." I say and Levi looks down.
"I just see a shell of a man when I see him. He deserves life in prison. He
deserves worse and he'll eventually get it, but you're not like that. You're
reasons are wholesome. You're not him." Levi says as I look down, but he grabs
my chin and makes sure I'm looking at him. "Listen to me. You're not him." Levi
says and my sobbing becomes worse as I lean my head on his shoulder, just
noticing the group of people watching us now.
Mikasa and Armin come over and hug us too, soon followed by Erwin and Hanji. I
feel the warmth around me from all the people, but I still feel cold.
 
 
===============================================================================
 
 
 
I wake up to Levi whimpering in his sleep. There's probably not a sadder sound
in the world than when Levi cries in his sleep. I reach to shake his shoulder,
but he jolts awake as soon as I touch him.
He looks at me with wide eyes for a second before grabbing my hand and pulling
me to him sharply and holding me.
"Fuck, I'm glad you're okay." He breathes out and as I wrap my arms around his
shoulders.
"I'm okay, you're okay, everything's okay." I say and he pushes me back a bit.
"Is it?" He says quietly and my eyebrows furrow together.
"What do you mean?" I ask, feeling panic spike in me.
"You really scared me today." He says, not meeting my eyes and my heart drops
past my stomach and onto the floor.
"I-I'm sorry." I say and move to get up, but he keeps his hold on me.
"You stay here." He says urgently and now I'm even more confused.
"If I scare you, I'm not staying." I say and he shakes his head.
"Fuck Eren, I wasn't scared of you, I thought you we're gonna try to kill you
self again." He says and I stop.
"I'm not gonna do that." I say and he lets out a breath of relief. "I'm not
gonna hurt you like that again." I say and pull him closer.
"Promise?" He says and I nod, not even needing to think about it.
"Promise. I'm looking forward to that forever with you." I say and I feel him
smile against my neck.
"Don't fucking scare me like that. Nothing that happened today was your fault,
you hear me?" He says and I nod, just relieved to hear him say that.
"Thank you." I say and he nods as well.
"Maybe I should be the one with nightmares more often. This is much better than
the one you had a few days ago." He says and I laugh.
"I think it's better if neither of us have them." I say and he laughs too. I
hear a quiet knock on the door and turn to see a pair of purple eyes looking
in.
"Everything okay?" Mikasa says and I nod. She smiles a bit and walks in,
holding Annie's hand who I didn't notice was there. They walk over and sit with
us on the bed.
"How are you guys?" Annie asks, not having seen us for a few weeks. I look to
Levi and he smiles to me as I lean my head on his shoulder.
"We're good."
***** Okay *****
Chapter Notes
     Thank you guys so much for all of the support. You guys got me to 10k
     hits. I'm not gonna lie, I cried. I just want you guys to know how
     happy this makes me and how happy it makes me that you guys enjoy
     this, so thank you.
     I got my phone fixed by the way! So that's fun! And I have what I
     guess is the last chapter since the next one is more of an epilogue.
     Kind of. We'll see.
     So, thank you all for patiently waiting. Here you go. Enjoy:)
     Edit/addition: I got a tumblr! It's not gonna be full on writing or
     fangirling, but I'll try and post when I post a chapter.
     My URL is: http://lavalampwriting.tumblr.com
Eren's POV
 
There are few things that I fully understand in this world. One of those is
sadness. And in accordance to that, I also understand happiness.
People who say happiness is a choice? They're full of shit, but they have the
right idea. There's a difference between feeling happy and choosing to be
happy. Feeling happy means everything is great, but it's fleeting. You could
get cut-off in traffic and get pissed. You could get fired and be sad.
Choosing to be happy is something entirely different. It's being mad and being
sad and being unhappy and knowing that it will be okay. Maybe not right then,
but it will. It's choosing not to wallow in that one dark emotion and look
forward to when it's bright again.
Today though, I'm just happy. Why? Because Levi and I are hanging out in the
basement like old times. He's holding me close as we actually watch High School
Musical 3 and he swoons as Troy sings.
"He is a truly beautiful person." Levi says and I nod.
"I can't even find it in me to be jealous over that. It's just too true." I
say.
"Can I be Gabriella?" He says and I scowl.
"Pushing it." I say and he laughs.
"Don't worry. You're way better than Zac Efron." He says and it's my turn to
laugh.
"You say that now, but wait until I'm old and fat and he still looks like a sex
god." I say and he kisses my cheek.
"No way. We're gonna be those thin old people because we'll still be having sex
at 80." He says and I laugh.
"Try and tell me you're not a horny guy. Just try." I say and he shakes his
head.
"I'm not horny for just anyone. Only you." He says and I bump him with my butt.
"Bullshit. You were just moaning over Zac Efron." I say jokingly and he presses
his lips to my ear.
"Like I don't moan your name every time we..."
"Guys, your pizza is here!" Mikasa yells, effectively ruining what Levi was
trying to get at and I sit up.
"I'll go get it while you jerk off in the bathroom." I say and he laughs.
"And I'm the dirty one?" He says as I go upstairs. I go to the kitchen where
Mikasa is holding a piece of pizza herself and smiles at me.
"Hey there." She says and I lean on the counter.
"Hey, where's Annie?" I ask and she shrugs.
"I think she's still naked upstairs, but pizza called." She says and we both
laugh.
"You and Levi both with the dirty jokes today." I say as I grab a piece.
"What are you guys doing down there?"
"Watching High School Mus..."
"Figures." She says and I laugh and grab the box.
"See ya." I say and he waves. I walk back downstairs to see Levi laying on his
back on the floor, staring at the ceiling. I put the pizza box on the table and
lay down next to Levi.
"What's up?" I ask and he shrugs. "Contemplating the meaning of life? Me too."
I say and he laughs.
"No, I just got tired of the couch." He says and I laugh and move closer to
him, resting my head on his chest.
"I guess we're ceiling gazing then." I say and he snorts and wraps an arm
around me. We're both having a good day today, trying desperately to ignore
that Grisha is on trial today. We're trying to keep each other distracted and
it's not fully working.
"Levi?"
"Yeah?"
"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" I ask and he sighs.
"Maybe. You are too though." He says and I nod.
"I know he's gonna be found guilty, but they're probably gonna release more
information on the victims. I don't think I can deal with that." He says and I
nod.
"I've lived through it. I can't hear about how much worse it could've been." I
blurt out before I can stop myself, but I'm not sure I would've. I figure it's
better just to put my thoughts out there. I tilt my head up and kiss his neck
lightly.
"We're okay." I say and he nods.
"We're okay." He says and pulls me closer. We lay like this for awhile until he
suddenly pulls back.
"Stay, you're cozy." I groan and he laughs a little.
"I'll be back." He says and runs upstairs. He comes back down and sits next to
me, so I sit up. He puts a leather cord around my neck and I look down to see
something I had completely forgotten about.
My mother's locket.
"How did you..."
"I remember you used to always wear it and you suddenly stopped. You left it at
your house after..." He says and I stare at him in utter shock. Not the bad
kind though.
He went back to my house after everything that happened. He went back for me.
I grin and nearly lunge into his arms, knocking him back. "Thank you so much."
I say and he smiles up to me.
"It was nothing." He says and I roll my eyes.
"Don't lie to me. I know that was a big deal. Thank you." I say and his smile
softens.
"Anything for you, Bright Eyes." He says and I lean forward and kiss him, our
lips barely touching. I let them linger as I pull his lips between mine. I pull
back and look into his eyes and just feel myself melting.
"I love you." I says and he smiles and peaks my lips.
"I love you too." He says to me and everything just feels right.
They say it's always darkest before the dawn. I can honestly say that that is
bullshit. There's good days and bad days. It's not gradually better, it's
gradually not as bad. Eventually, the bad is at a minimal and life just feels
easier.
I know I'm not at my worst point. I may not be at my best, but I'm working on
it. Maybe this is finally my dawn. Because right now, with him, everything just
feels right.
"We're okay." I say with a smile, because this time, without a doubt, it's
true.
***** Good *****
Chapter Notes
     Wow, so we're finally coming to an end. This is really bittersweet
     for me. I just want to say that I love you all so much and thank you
     for letting me write for you.
     As I wrote this, I had some self-improvement to do myself. And you
     guy actually really helped me with that. I'm glad I could help you
     guys too if I did.
     Also, if you guys want to keep reading my writing, in currently
     writing two fics right now, so if you feel like it, go check those
     out.
     Thank you guys so much. I hope you enjoyed this<3
Eren's POV
 
Life is a funny thing. It's good and bad, happy and sad, lots of odd things.
It's a noun, dependent on how it plays out to find its adjectives.
It's like an apple. Apples, in theory, are healthy. But they can rot, be
covered in caramel, be cut, but that doesn't change the definition of an apple.
Apple is a healthy thing.
And life is a good thing.
I haven't always felt that way, but I do right now as I hold the love of my
life. Levi's asleep in my arms, his arms around my neck and he faces me. His
features are gentle with an innocence that few things in life bring. His pale
skin glows in the moonlight filtering through his windows as his dark hair
drapes his forehead.
He's beautiful.
Not even on the outside, but inside too. He's strong, brave, kind. He's not
perfect, but that's what makes him real. I never thought a person could make me
so happy.
But it's not just him. It's what he's done for me. He stood by me when I
thought I deserved no one. He walked next to me as I fought my internal
battles. He didn't save me, but I wouldn't want him to. Others don't save you.
You save yourself. You decide to put down the blade and save yourself from the
pain.
He was just there, waiting until I was ready to love not only him, but myself.
And I do. I love him and I've finally come to love myself. Because I'm alive
and I know how to live.
I know who I want to be, what I want to do, and that I deserve it. I deserve
life.
I've known many things that I wish I hadn't. Self-hate. Pain. Grief.
But they've made me who I am. It took a long time, but I'm happy with myself. I
still have my days, but I know that there's somethings better than all those
terrible things.
As Levi's blue eyes flicker open and he smiles tenderly up to me, I know
happiness. Love. Hope. Life.
And I can smile to him too, because I know him and what it means to feel.
Feel good and bad and know that it's worth it.
Because this is it.
This is the way we live.
And it's good.
End Notes
     I tracked this on tumblr as:
     #fic:TWWL
     My URL:
     http://lavalampwriting.tumblr.com
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